To ask what you would you in this in-law holiday situation of caravan sharing

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

Have a family holiday to Dorset in July at a Haven-type place. We all booked it in September last year. Us (me DH 2 kids) SIL (her, BIL and their 8yo DS) have each booked a 3-bed caravan and FIL (him and StepMIL) have booked a 2 bed. SIL then invited MIL to stay in hers in their 3rd bedroom, for free. MIL is on her own, works minimum wage job and would never otherwise be able to afford a holiday herself, and has told me she is looking forward to having a bedroom to herself.

Our kids are 6&10 and we planned to use all 3 bedrooms in our caravan as we have a boy and a girl and they don’t always love sharing a room on holiday. 10yo DD is also now (fairly) wanting people to respect her privacy especially when she gets changed etc.

So to summarise: at the point of booking, our caravan is technically full, SIL’s caravan is full and FIL’s caravan has 1 spare room.

Except SIL has now invited our 11yo niece (their brother’s DD) and also her adult DD (22) and adult DD’s boyfriend on the holiday. She is the type of person who doesn’t EVER think things through. MIL posted on the family WhatsApp group asking where the new people are gonna stay.

Anyway, FIL has offered to have 11yo niece in his 2nd bedroom. So SIL asked if we can have her adult DD and boyfriend in ours. Otherwise they will have to stay in her caravan and poor MIL will be relegated to the pull out bed in the living room.

Im really annoyed at it all, because if I’m being honest I don’t want ANYONE in our caravan except the 4 of us. We technically have the space but I’ve only met 22yo’s boyfriend twice I’m not keen on having him stay in the same space as us. I also don’t want 11yo niece as she constantly picks on my kids, she’s really rough with them, always hitting them, shows them TikTok videos and does stupid annoying things.

But I feel bad for MIL that she will be relegated to the sofa. Also, no money is being offered for us hosting extra people and it wasn’t a cheap holiday either.

I want to be able to walk around in my short nightie, fart, talk about personal things with my DH that I don’t want other people to hear, and laze around like a sloth without worrying what other people think.

We already had a wobble over this bloody holiday when we booked it as SIL said to me “Your DD can stay in our caravan, (their) DS will want her there with him” and I had to say no sorry but our DD will be staying with us.

My DH has said he thinks we should say no, it’s our caravan and we booked it without the expectation of extra people. And that MIL needs to fight her own corner. But I think that’s gonna be SUPER awkward and unkind.

YANBU - Tell them to bugger off and enjoy your holiday
YABU - Share your caravan you horrible cow!

I’d have your MIL only in your caravan. A 22yr old male you barely know? Not a chance

That last bullet made me giggle, because my DM and DF, who also divorced about 35 years ago, now live together again - along with my DSF.

@Cindas
🤯

@Cindas how on earth did that happen?

I'd say you'll need a holiday after going on this one!!!😂

No is a complete sentence

I’d absolutely decline that set up. It’s not your fault they got invited, your SIL should sort it out 🤷🏻‍♀️

Surely the dd and bf have the spare bedroom in the FILs caravan and the 11yo neice goes on the pull out in the SILs living room?

The person that said it was okay for them to come needs to sort it out

You shouldn't have to make any sacrifices. It's all on them and their big mouth

What kind of idiot says that extra people are welcome to join without talking to others first and thinking through the sleeping arrangements?!

I'm a bit surprised the young adult couple even want to go away with family and young children

Just say no, it's not a holiday for your children if they (or you) cannot let their hair down and enjoy themselves. Don't feel guilty, she invited them, she can deal with it. You are not a BandB and this is your holiday too. The answer is NO.

Can you have the 11 year old niece to share a room with your 10 yo dd? Then the adult female relative and her boyfriend can have the spare room in FIL's caravan?

Will be worth reading all of OP's messages- she's covered why that isn't an option.

Stick to your guns and the original plan. Everyone deserves a nice holiday but your caravan is for your immediate family. Kindly say on the phone (I find texting an explanation awkward) that you really don’t have the room with your daughter being of a certain age etc. blame the kids. That’s what they are there for x

This is the solution

I'd just say no. Ur caravan is full. The end.

I'd say No. You need the space for your family as your kids are different sexes.

I'd suggest the DN and her BF rough it in a tent or if thats unappealing, they hire or borrow a motorhome/camper from a friend (hopefully someone has something they could use) 🤞!

MIL stays with SIL and her family and 11yo niece stays with FIL.

Why should an 11 year old girl have to share with an 8 year old boy? That's why they have booked a 3 bed. So they're 10 year old DD and ds aren't sharing. Would it not make better sense for 10 year old girl to share with 11 year old girl cousin?

It would. If the 11 year old wasn't horrible to the 10 year old. But as the OP has explained, the 11 year old is horrible to them so no, it doesn't make more sense.

Tell them you have already told your kids that they can invite a friend each if they want to so there is no room.

Sorry if this has been said above, but would your daughter mind sharing a room with your MIL? I’m not sure on their relationship but at 10 I probably would have been excited to share a room with my Nan!

How did mils plan go down?

Is there any reason why the two 22 year old adults can’t arrange and pay for their own accommodation?

The whole thing sounds like a nightmare to me but then Im probably not so sociable. My attitude is SIL needs to sort it since she created this. Is there any tent camping on the site? If so that sorts it, some of the young can sleep in tent and they will have facilities in the vans. Otherwise suggest SIL pays for an extra van, she is putting everyone to inconvenience. Or maybe there is another site not too far away which could accommodate the extras? Don't end up accommodating more people why should you?

Absolutely this. Just say NO. You've paid with a certain arrangement in mind, she has no right to alter it.

Just this, not your problem