To secretly envy outdoorsy families

[Purplefoxes]

I envy outdoorsy families. They look like they have so much fun together and just make it all look so easy. Our family on the other hand, we are a bunch of wimpy townies!..DH does not like any sport (I've tried!) Or most activities which involve breaking a sweat, DS1 6YO is into gaming (not through my choice) and whines for screens regularly and DS2 is only 4 months old. We just went on a Easter break in Cornwall, got wetsuits and thought we'd give body boarding a go with DS1... 15 minutes in the shallows, 9 degree water and we were out again shivering and begging for hot chocolate, DH laughing on the beach with DS2 🤣 not quite what I envisaged but probably shouldn't be surprised given the weather and the temperatures! Should I give up and assume it's just not in us, we are just not hardy folk or should we keep trying, can we change? Love the idea of wild swimming, coastal and mountain walks, camping under the stars. But the reality of lashing rain, mud and sand in unmentionable places, endless washing, dodgy loos, whinging kids etc etc is holding me back. Wise mumsnetters, is there a trick to being more outdoorsy, how do you make it more bearable?

I have a trick , get a thermos. A hot cup of tea makes anything bearable.

You were on a hiding to nothing to think you could just get in the sea at this time of year and enjoy it!
If you want to be outdoorsy, start simple. Go for bike rides on flat bike paths, walk in the woods, try geocaching - it’s a walk with a purpose. Always take a flask of hot chocolate and some snacks to persuade reluctant children to go a bit further. In the summer, when it’s warm, you could give the sea another go, but it will always be cold! You just get used to it and enjoy it in short bursts.

My advice would be start small and see how you get on. Can you get to some open spaces and go for a walk? Maybe start with an hour, whatever the weather and build it up? Include a cafe stop half way or once you get back? If you go to the beach then do rockpooling or walk along the cliff path to the next beach. I'm 'outdoorsy' and wouldn't be spending 15 minutes in the sea even in a wetsuit this month! That's very brave of you.

We used to walk miles with our young children and eventually dogs too - always had drinks and bribes in the form of snacks for when they got fed up/bored/tired. I think we also used the 'take 100/500/1000 steps and you can have some chocolate/a biscuit/a carry'.

I think probably start in the summer! The sea is still very cold at this time of year and for a 6 year old wetsuits would still probably be a good idea on all but the hottest summer days. Once you've got a love for it then you might decide to carry on through the autumn, winter and spring. I consider myself quite outdoorsy but I'm not a year round sea swimmer. If we do a beach trip at this time of year we'd do something like take our camping stove and wellies, cook sausages on the beach and splash in the shallows in wellies.

The sea in the UK in April was always going to be a terrible idea tbh.
Start school. A 6Yo should not be “into gaming” IMO.

Start small, not school!

There are easier ways to get into being outdoorsy. Rather than going for a hike in the mountains find a way-marked route for example, build your confidence and then go off exploring. National Trust has some good ones for example- that way you are always safe, know what you are doing and can just get on and enjoy! Wild swimming there are some clubs and things- they can know the best times to go and loan kit.

Even the most outdoorsy people I know finish things off with a hot drink- so you've got that right at least!!!

Winter wetsuits are a game changer. You don't feel the cold at all.

We’re kind of outdoorsy but not too much. We love days at home. But we also enjoy skating, Pokémon go’ing, bike riding, walking etc.

Oh same! I hate being cold, wet or windswept. We're an active family, but mud, rain suits, sand (when I'm not laying on a lounger with a cocktail and book) and kind of preparation before a day out is not my kind of fun!

YABU for trying body boarding in freezing weathers.

We’ve managed to make DS4 very outdoorsy by taking him out twice a day since he was a baby- no magic secret, just go to parks, nature reserves, forest school if affordable, country parks or Forestry Commission woods, national trust properties for the gardens and parks, beaches and local hills where there are short walks. We got him a balance bike and a pedal bike with stabilizers at an appropriate age, and that’s it. Oh, and swimming lessons.

He’s not allowed on an iPad or phone and we don’t have ours out around him or own a Switch or similar, so haven’t had to pick the fight about screens. We’ve never had a big garden so always made up for it by going out every day. Get decent waterproofs and wellies and get stuck in.

There’s really no magical secret. He’s not of an age for cross country running or long bike rides yet- you build up to stuff by normalising being outdoors.

DH and I are not remotely sporty, no team sports, nothing, but we do like walking and a bike ride on the flat so just do that with DS. We tried him with Little Kickers for 18 months but he wasn’t keen. DH and I aren’t mega outdoorsy by some standards, eg proper mountain climbing or riding, but walking up Snowdon or doing stretches of the West Highland Way is the sort of thing we’ve done, and hope to do with DS when older. Just buy a Thermos, pick a dry day and go out. Ignore the whinging; they’ll thank you later.

Start easy, and build in child friendly activities.
We sail, and would do quite long passages before we had kids. But we read an article about sailing with children that recommended no more than one hour afloat per year of the child's age. So we moved to doing far less adventurous stuff, took the boat out of the sea and onto Windermere initially so that there was lots of child friendly stuff to do in the weekend, not just non stop sailing.
It seemed to pay off as whilst our children have developed different hobbies and are not super keen sailors they do still enjoy it and will come out for the day with DH and I even though they are grown up now. (Handy, now we are getting old and i have a disability!) All the friends we have who refused to adjust and took their children on long sea passages every holiday have adult children who won't set foot on a boat now. That may be coincidence of course, but I don't think so.
Whatever you do needs to be fun, not an endurance feat with young children. Hardships do kind if become fun with time and there is certainly a sense of achievement that comes from overcoming difficulties or going further, faster etc, but for little ones, it needs to be something they enjoy. Ice cream solves a lot of problems...

We are an active family but the idea of swimming in April fills me with horror! Nice weather really helps when you’re walking, biking, hiking, go-apeing or skiing.

Meh. You like what you like. The world would be really boring if everyone liked the same things.

I'm sporty, but not outdoorsy. I have accepted this about myself and I bring many, many other attributes to the table in my broader life.

It's futile, pointless and exhausting trying to be something you're not. (Ask any gay person who spent years in the closet pretending to be straight. Extreme example but you get the principle.)

Try Woodcraft Folk or cubs for your 6yo, and get involved helping out yourself. It's a structured way to get more outdoorsy stuff into your kids' lives without going nuts!

Another vote for geocaching, it can be very chilled and fun with short walks involved.

Also, what about a climbing wall for your ds? Indoors so accessible in any weather but active and fun.

Also: climbing trees, DS4 loves it. Most woods or nature reserves/parks have trees with low hanging branches that you can (safely and with support) help small children navigate - they love it! Just be careful of trees with wobbly looking branches or ones which are young/signs which specifically ask you not to climb.

The secret is weather forecasts.

Don’t just look at rain and temperature, also take account of wind strength and direction and how sheltered you will be.

I actually clicked on this post because I secretly envy outdoorsy families too, but actually we are really outdoorsy. Bikes, allotment plot, gardening, walks, etc. We like it because it's free and we have about six thousand children.
But it's never going to be like the Joneses family days out. My kids scream and cry and me and dp bicker and say 'that's it, we're going home" at least 12 times for each outing. But I look through my photos and it's all green. And then I think back to my childhood and we all cried and moaned. I remember we went on a long walk up the Edam Valley and my dister moaned the entire time. Then when we reached the top, she stubbornly didn't go around the end of the walk marker, she she technically never finished the 5 mile long walk. But it's one of My favourite memories, even though she's likely ruined the day for the adults.

Bring a back pack of biscuits and a thermos of hot water (never make the tea or coffee up in the thermos, it stinks forever after), we save pot noodle pots because they nestle nicely together and bring the sachets of 20p noodles and 50p couscous and add a tin of sweet corn for bulk. The kids think that £1 meal (and I'm using the term loosely) is the best thing in the world.

We also invested in a kelly kettle, which is basically a little camp stove fired by twigs and sticks that the children collect, with a kettle/ chimney. You can cook a pack of sausages or bacon and bring a loaf of bread for sandwiches.

basically the secret to going out with kids is food, hot drinks and biscuits and don't try to stop the moaning. Just embrace it. If me and dp moan at eachother because ''it's taking ages and I'm hungry" then why wouldn't the kids?

DDs are going kayaking tomorrow...indoors. Water temps too low for more than brief dips at the moment!

Try your 6yo with Beavers

You started big! Start with a National Trust membership, and just go for walks. Find somewhere with trees to climb.

Get bikes and find a nice flat cycle route (maybe along a canal) with a pub to aim for for a drink before you head back.
Decent clothing is key. Waterproof and Windproof for all of you if it's a wintery day.

One of our favourite family holidays is skiing. DH is less outdoorsy than the rest of us, so often I ski alone in the morning when the DC are at ski school, and we all ski together in the afternoon. DH is usually kept sweet with the promise of a pint.

I find that if my eldest is in the house, he wants a screen, but once he's out and about, he's not fussed about them.

It's going to be hard without DHs support while the kids are little.

We are definitely outdoorsy but when children are old enough to walk but not old enough for tough walks it is a bit limiting. Now they’re 10 and 13 we do mountains, kayaking, wild swimming.

My advice would be to start doing some of the things that appeal to you by yourself or join a group. That way, when the kids are old enough you won’t need your dhs support, you’ll be confident yourself. And it’s depressing dragging another adult along anyway.

Ignore DH and see if one of your friends with similar age DCs would come with you. It's great fun walking and hiding in the wood etc if DC has a play mate.

But what about learning a sport eg tennis, climbing wall, judo etc Tennis each Sat morning for half an hour until he (and you) improve.

We're pretty outdoorsy but I wouldn't have lasted 15 minutes in that 9 degree water, that sounds like a miserable experience!

Yes instantly realised my mistake when we got out, it was lucky there was a beach cafe for drinks after!

I think organised activities would be your best bet. Also making the children earn screens through exercise. I’ve just made my ten year old come on an hour hike with me to earn Roblox 🤣