To secretly envy outdoorsy families

[Purplefoxes]

I envy outdoorsy families. They look like they have so much fun together and just make it all look so easy. Our family on the other hand, we are a bunch of wimpy townies!..DH does not like any sport (I've tried!) Or most activities which involve breaking a sweat, DS1 6YO is into gaming (not through my choice) and whines for screens regularly and DS2 is only 4 months old. We just went on a Easter break in Cornwall, got wetsuits and thought we'd give body boarding a go with DS1... 15 minutes in the shallows, 9 degree water and we were out again shivering and begging for hot chocolate, DH laughing on the beach with DS2 🤣 not quite what I envisaged but probably shouldn't be surprised given the weather and the temperatures! Should I give up and assume it's just not in us, we are just not hardy folk or should we keep trying, can we change? Love the idea of wild swimming, coastal and mountain walks, camping under the stars. But the reality of lashing rain, mud and sand in unmentionable places, endless washing, dodgy loos, whinging kids etc etc is holding me back. Wise mumsnetters, is there a trick to being more outdoorsy, how do you make it more bearable?

I'm outdoorsy - wild swimming, long-distance multi-day treks in the wilderness with tent and provisions for however long I plan to be away. There's no way in hell I'd be going in the fucking sea, wetsuit or not, in April!

Definitely start small as others have suggested. I didn't just pack a bag one day and wander off into the mountains for a month.
Do some short hikes, building up the distances. Start off on easy terrain - forestry trails etc and increase difficulty with time.
Buy a lightweight camping stove and lightweight pans and utensils. Boil the water for hot chocolate or tea during your hike. Yes you can take a thermos but somehow for me there's more magic and something special about boiling the water on the spot. It doesn't take long on modern gas burners. I've often been out and about in the local area and met families with children. The children were always very excited about me cooking up noodles or hot chocolate or boiled eggs and I've often heard "Mum, can we get one please?"

Once you've cracked the day hikes, you can go on to camping if you fancy it - starting off on campsites. The key here is to have very good equipment. Invest in decent sleeping bags if you want to do this more often. You absolutely should not try to save money by buying cheap sleeping bags - it ends up just being torture, everyone's freezing and no one wants to go camping ever again.

DH and I do a sport once a week. But DH is meh about being outside. I have spent months trying to get two kids and DH to do walks, we have tried geo caching, walks with a purpose, etc. They are all meh about them. I now go walks by myself and very occasionally one of them will join me. You can't make people enjoy what they don't.

I think trying the UK sea at Easter wasn’t the best introduction! Why not try some national trust place or organised activities like go to Scouts or outdoor holiday camps. I’d be very worried about a 6 YO being very into gaming…

Forget the beach, hikes and all the rest OP

You don’t even mention going to the park? Local walks?

We're an outdoorsy family, but you get there (imo) from having fun. So go to an NT place and walk the grounds with a treasure trail. Do a bike ride at a forestry place (often there are bike hire places so you don't need to invest, try a tandem/ tag along/ trailer there are well) or a bike trail so you are going for an ice cream somewhere not 'For a Bike Ride'. Once my ds could ride on the road safely the route to the nice ice cream place got more complicated to add miles as he got better. We also implemented rules over time about you could swear cycling up hills or that certain places on walks produced sweets, and traditions about wild wees, stupid songs and made up stories.
Something on the water like paddleboarding is more temperature friendly than body boarding and is a great laugh, especially as kids are much better at balance than adults.

For us, the biggest thing about being outdoors doing stuff is that it has modelled giving it a go, not necessarily being good at it, and having a laugh at each other. And sometimes we freeze our bits off (ds has never let me forget the trip to Plymouth lido where he did go a bit blue) or it is really hard (like when I was second last in a Duathlon and cried after falling over and being too tired to stand up again), but ds is 16 now and though he loves gaming he also spends his weekends on/in the river, will cycle 100 miles for haribo and espresso, and on holiday last year I thought he'd turn into a seal we spent so much time giggling in the sea. So worth it I think

is there a trick to being more outdoorsy, how do you make it more bearable?

having the right weather clothing, not going when its lashing down with rain, trying out different stuff until you find what you like - and what you like might be whet ds1 likes and visa versa. Telling ds1 that if he can try something 3 times then make a decision as to whether he likes it, give it a proper go first before dismissing it

@CMOTDibbler A bit hard if nothing you do feels like fun to other family members.

Even outdoorsy families spend time indoors too! We walk a lot and paddle board in the summer. I think it’s about finding what you like - I hate cycling and camping so I don’t do that (dc love riding their bikes so that’s fine). We have a dog so that gets us out every day and once out dc love it. Dd2 would prefer to curl up on the sofa in her onesie but doesn’t complain just looks forward to getting home and changing back into her onesie.

If you are near any forestry commission sites, they often have some good activities, our nearest one has a gruffalo trail, and I think some of the others have other Julia Donaldson book themed trails. They often also have go ape sites as well which can be a nice safe intro to the outdoors for kids.

@Whichnumbers i do the three times thing with food too!

I have come to the conclusion some people are naturally outdoorsy. DH grew up in a farm so spent virtually his whole childhood outdoors. He goes camping reluctantly and occasional walks but I think he would be happy living in a climate controlled giant dome.
I love camping and walking.

Keeping warm and dry is key! Once you're out and get cold it's just not fun for anyone, especially for kids/teens! Good outdoor wear doesn't have to be expensive. I bought a long duvet coat from Zara for long walks as I hate having cold legs. Jeans hold onto moisture, as do cotton leggings, so get some polyester leggings and tops as they'll keep you warm and won't lock in moisture. Make it fun, so we go for a long walk but take a picnic with a thermos of hot chocolate. And good shoes - obviously hiking boots are best but a good pair of comfy trainers are fine too.
And cold water swimming is the best thing ever! Absolutely love it. Find a good group near where you live - we're a friendly bunch!! May will be a good time to start

Aw you’re still at the beginning of family life, 6y and 4m! You can introduce things slowly instead of literally plunging into the ocean 😄

6yo can do climbing wall, go ape, bike rides, roller skating/blading, skateboarding. We got a kayak in lockdown which is fun and no skill involved really but you do need to know where you can kayak/get a license, or go to a boating pond to give it a try.

Hiking backpack for little one. I got a £350 Little Life from Facebook marketplace for £35. We just go to the local woods and look for treasures (pine cones, rocks, feathers etc, kids take a bag to collect things in. You can do a colour hunt etc).

Also as a family we do not appreciate sand but just had the most gorge weekend by the sea on a stony beach - kids spent ages looking for stones, climbing rocks, watching the ocean. The only people we saw in the water were 3 older ladies wild swimming so think you probably picked the wrong season for water sports!

'Being outdoorsy' need not involve physicality, discomfort, expensive gear or the hassle of big trips out.

The initial, transformative step is simply developing a regular habit of spending time outside / in nature - even if initially in your own backyard.

Here are some fun, child-friendly schemes to help structure and incentivise this:

30 Days Wild
https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/30dayswild
A month of self-guided activities each June - can be done as a family at home.

1000 Hours Outside
https://www.1000hoursoutside.com/
Takes it name from the number of hours some children spend on screens per year and seeks to match this with nature time.

John Muir Award
https://www.johnmuirtrust.org/john-muir-award/get-involved
You can do a JMA as a family, in your own time, in e.g. your own garden or local park. The idea is to 'discover' an outdoors space, explore and appreciate it and do small things to better support nature in it.

Also OP getting out into nature in the early years is SO beneficial for your kids’ health - their microbiome and their mental health etc. You could even try forest bathing if you don’t want to get sweaty! Or Pokémon Go for your 6yo?

I love them outdoors, but swimming in the U.K. in April, when the sea is only just past being at its coldest is nuts if you struggle even to do simple outdoors stuff. Go for a simple walk outdoors for an hour or hire a pedalo for half-an-hour somewhere... Start small, otherwise you'll put him off then outdoors for life!

I do think you are expecting too much of him. Our eldest two are definitely outdoorsy (both just got back from scout camp and had a ball, can’t wait until their next trip) but whenever we go on a family walk, they invariably are a million miles behind us chatting about minecraft. It’s just what interests them and no different from DH and I discussing what box set we’ll watch next as we walk.

As most people have said already you need to start small and age appropriate. Our local beavers starts at six years old and only takes them camping for one night a year. Most beavers don’t go. Once they’re in scouts (age eight) it kicks up a gear. But that should give you an idea of what experienced adults think is appropriate.

Things that we did when we had preschoolers were lots of short walks, national trust, beach but didn’t attempt any water based activities in the UK except for a quick paddle in the sea, outdoor playgroups (found one called mud club locally and they basically just played in mud), and choose a nursery that took them outside for nature based learning. We also started camping as a family when the eldest was five, which they thought was the best fun. We stuck to short trips close to home and didn’t hesitate to come home when the weather was particularly bad.

The final piece of advice is not everyone likes everything. I’m happy to muck in and get wet , cold etc but there is no way that I’d be going in the sea in the UK for more than a few minutes. Similarly, DS1 would hate mountain biking and DH is happy to camp but does make sure he has him luxuries. It’s meant to be fun so stick with things that everyone enjoys.

Isn’t this why Centerparcs was invented 😂

Is there a junior parkrun near to you? It would be perfect for your six year old and would encourage him to get in 10-20 minutes of exercise. If you're lucky, there will also be a playground nearby, so you'll be able to keep him outside for longer.

You might find this website helpful:

Get Out With The Kids

As others have said start small and build up. Just go a Sunday walk in the woods, paddling in a stream in summer, picnic in the countryside. Going camping or wild swimming will be a shock to the system for everyone!

A clear goal, I.e we are walking to x because y and you will get z works great for my kids. Also taking friends definitely helps.

On Sunday we're going up a hill to look at an iron age hill fort (me), to climb trees (dc1) and to eat a picnic (dh and dc2). There will also be water and mud which will provide another distraction. I try and pick places that I know will interest them, beaches, forests, fairy walks, climbable trees, sculpture walks and always have a lot of drinks and snacks. Also one of my favourite walks is to a loch which has a waterfall roughly half way around it...we still haven't made it that far since the kids were born. We play in the river with the rocks, we picnic by the shore, we explore the graveyard and we walk towards the waterfall, getting a bit further each time...it's a gradual thing.

Mixing it up helps too. Going out at night with torches makes some of the familiar walks seem totally different.

Geocaching is a brilliant idea. Plus perhaps other virtual challenges? We like ticking off the miles and working towards a goal, or challenges like visiting trig points or the highest points in the parishes and stuff.
We are an 'outdoorsy' family but even so, our long walks are often accompanied by a soundtrack of minecraft exploits or lego plans, or comparisons to Lord of the Rings storylines...
We were out walking by a river the other day and there was an elderly gentleman playing danny boy on a penny whistle.
DS was like 'oh I'm in zelda breath of the wild'

Welly walks on a rainy day can be really fun. Look in your local area for fun family outdoors ideas, maybe at NT places or local parks.

And NT places sell books with ideas for outdoorsy stuff.

I was going to say exactly this.

My dc are naturally outdoorsy, dh and I not so much, but we've become much more so.

But you don't have to go full on surfer. Start small.

A bike ride on flat paths, a welly walk in the woods, go to your local go ape, try the wetsuits again in the Summer, beavers/cubs is great for getting the dc outside trying new things.