To secretly envy outdoorsy families

[Purplefoxes]

I envy outdoorsy families. They look like they have so much fun together and just make it all look so easy. Our family on the other hand, we are a bunch of wimpy townies!..DH does not like any sport (I've tried!) Or most activities which involve breaking a sweat, DS1 6YO is into gaming (not through my choice) and whines for screens regularly and DS2 is only 4 months old. We just went on a Easter break in Cornwall, got wetsuits and thought we'd give body boarding a go with DS1... 15 minutes in the shallows, 9 degree water and we were out again shivering and begging for hot chocolate, DH laughing on the beach with DS2 🤣 not quite what I envisaged but probably shouldn't be surprised given the weather and the temperatures! Should I give up and assume it's just not in us, we are just not hardy folk or should we keep trying, can we change? Love the idea of wild swimming, coastal and mountain walks, camping under the stars. But the reality of lashing rain, mud and sand in unmentionable places, endless washing, dodgy loos, whinging kids etc etc is holding me back. Wise mumsnetters, is there a trick to being more outdoorsy, how do you make it more bearable?

The screens we tackled by serious limits - only an hour a day max at 6. And the whinging was sorted by removing screen time the next day if there was one hint of a whinge. A remarkably simple strategy that still works now our boys are teenagers 😄.

Outdoor time was also always non negotiable and still is - it’s so important for their mental and physical health so they go outside every day.

Have fun 😄

I was very outdoorsy but dh isn’t and autistic ds’ favourite outdoor activity is going inside.

I feel your pain op.

A cookup on the beach and splash in the sea sounds vastly superior to our experience! @FrogOfFrogHall

We are outdoorsy but the kids also play a lot of Xbox - it's not a binary choice. I would never go in the sea in April though! Geocaching and Pokémon Go are both great ways to get kids outside and walking miles. Make sure you have hats gloves and waterproofs to hand, spare socks in the car if feet get wet are also a lifesaver to stop moaning. Make sure your kind have comfortable waterproof footwear. Wellies don't keep your feet warm and are often really uncomfortable to walk any distance in. The website Slow Ways is also great to work out walking routes if you don't know your local footpaths. Just dress up warm and walk from your house.

Baby steps

first step is get your 6 year old off gaming!!

I would recommend Scouting for your son, to get him into it slowly. Walks with geocaching or Pokémon go. Bike rides, especially on easy routes like old railway lines, so not too hilly. Summer trips to the beach.

Proper walking boots, waterproofs that will fit in a rucksack. Lots of snacks. Pub stop!

That's what I did with my kids.

Of course now they're late teens they don't often come out, prefer to stare at screens. But I was the same as a teen, although stuck in a book, and am now an outdoorsy adult, and Scout leader.

Hearing loud and clear the earn the screen time..we do try that but he will keep talking about games whilst out to wear us down it's like he is a games bore!! I need to distract him more, like the spotting things idea, maybe we can gamify it for him!

Try camping in the summertime as a starter activity, and move on from there!

I think sea is warmest in September, so better time of year to start.

And also think the start small is good. Like look for a walk with something interesting like stepping stones or a little waterfall or have special cake for the picnic and use that to galvanise your 6 yr old.

I play music while we walk. I have Spotify going on my phone and stick it in my sports bra 🤭. He dies still moan but I do that relentlessly happy and positive thing at him until he shuts up.

We are definitely one of those families..

my trick is to completely ignore the whining and act really enthusiastic about the activity. Basically you convince the kids they are having fun. Then they DO start to have fun. And thereby, so do you.
I use this technique pretty much all the time and seem to have somehow produced 4 non whiners!

It sounds like you started out pretty ambitious with the wetsuits etc and the others weren't quite ready for it! Not sure where you live but start simple with some short regular walks in woods or parks followed by an ice cream.

Go in the sea in late August/September, the sea takes a long time to warm up in the UK and a whole summer of sunshine means it will be the warmest possible then. Get a 7mm wetsuit (ideally a 'semi-dry' - restricts water flow in and out to keep the water around you warm from your body heat) and you'll be nice and toasty though you will get that horrible feeling if cold water trickling down your neck/back when you first get in.

Agree with trying camping - perhaps start with staying in a bell tent that's a bit more upmarket with proper beds etc and if you enjoy that as a family invest in a proper tent of your own - though the mud can't be avoided in the UK most of the year :-D

Also if your kids like nature we have some great swatch books from the Woodland Trust with different leaves on, or bugs, or animal poos, so the kids can identity the things they find with the books. Good distraction from being tired of walking!

Get your DS into the Beavers, they often do small things and then build onto it at the Cubs and Scouts. Our pack bought paddle boards from Beaver to Explorer size and they all love it.

Also, do walks with a purpose and goal. Get routes where there are things to do inbetween and at the end. Take snacks and drinks for a small picnic in the middle to break the walk up.

Look at local activities, forest clubs, watersport for primary school age.

I like activities but camping is a big no-go for me. I do day trips and that's it or if I have accomodation which includes a hot shower and a bed. Get the right clothes, water and wind proof, proper boots, that makes it much more comfortable.

@Oblomov23 well yes probably if I'm honest my default setting would be curled up like a cat indoors in my fluffy onesie in winter with a book and some chocolate. But it just feels so lazy and not trying hard enough. I feel a need to make the best of things, a refusal to be thwarted by the weather! Especially as we were booked on holiday which is not cheap in this county these days. Plus DS needs to run off steam. Perhaps we are just 'fair weather outdoorsy". Yes, a roast and wine is a very good motivator 🤣

It's bloody freezing for wetsuits and the sea!! Even outdoorsy families would struggle

@Purplefoxes we started with hiring a camping pod / wigwam style with beds and basic cooking facilities. We only had to take sleeping bags and food.

We even took the tablet to keep DS happy. He was 2 and it started a love for camping!

Even if you can book just one night! Try it!!

Actually the secret to comfy camping or glamping is sleeping bags AND duvets!!

Duvets make camping so much better.

Also just to add having the right clothing definitely makes a difference, my partner has excellent outdoor kit (great waterproofs, lightweight thin but warm hoodies, good outdoor hiking boots, salopettes etc) and he's always warm and dry whilst I'm in a mess because I barely even own any trousers :-D He is an outdoorsman for work and insists the secret to success is having the right kit. Which is why he can be up a mountain at -40 and still be toasty warm whilst I'm in a tent in 15 degrees in multiple sleeping bags and duvets and still freezing 😂

National Trust membership is a goodun too because you get free parking at forests, gardens and beaches.

Screw the fancy houses 😂 the carparking and toilet facilities are worth it alone.

Here a National Trust beach carpark is £6 a day but membership is £11 a month. No brainer

You’re running before you can walk. Take a nice picnic on a 2 mile or less walk somewhere high up or next to a lake. Have the picnic half way and just spend lots of time looking at things. Your children are too young for anything strenuous to be a lot of fun without a huge amount of effort.

A little bit strangely perhaps because I don't have kids of my own I am really passionate about getting it right with kids in the outdoors. The key is often about the kit they are using in the longer term, but for now I absolutely agree with the starting smaller and easier.

If there is a forestry commission run centre anywhere near you they are often a brilliant easy option with things like a gruffly trail to follow, lots of way marked walks and bike rides and often pretty decent bike hire and a cafe. With bike hire you could potentially look at hiring a bike with trailer for your little one which is less expensive than buying one and necessary racks etc.

A few people have suggested geocaching which is great, but do check the "ease" rating for some caches...spoken as someone who ended up on a steep bramble covered bank with two youngish kids! Pokemon Go is also great for getting kids outside and introducing basic map reading and looking for stuff.

If you say where you are roughly based I might be able to come up with some more locally specific suggestions

Don’t assume outdoorsy people are as happy as they make themselves look on social media, it’s never actually that smooth.

I don’t see what’s wrong with being fair weather outdoorsy. Start with nice weather and then stretch it into other weathers only if you feel actively enthusiastic.
I have just got back from Easter camping. At one point there was frost on my tent, but there was no hardship involved because I had the experience and the kit to know how to keep myself warm. Ds1 and dh will hillwalk in the rain because they object to rain far less than they object to heat. It’s not a sign of wimpiness to work around the weather you prefer and are equipped for, it’s a sign of good planning.

In my experience you need at least one sporty parent to pull this through. When I was a kid we were the non sporty family, we liked indoor games and making up plays. My husband comes from a very sporty family, the type you see running around on days out and feel exhausted just watching. When we’d been together about 6 months, I joined them for a day at the beach and sat in the shade with my book, watching as they ran around playing frisbee, racketball, that game with the tennis ball and Velcro pads… I was bemused and also self conscious, knowing that would never be me.

Fast forward ten years and I’m now a keen runner with a fully stocked beach wagon who suggests long walks on sunny days. I swear it happened by osmosis. Never would have occurred to me to do most of it if I hadn’t married sporty, I guarantee that!

Me and my friends camp outside all year round whenever we can, rain, wind, snow. we live for it. I love outdoor activities, sleeping out, hiking, scrambling and climbing. doing anything like that really. We've slept in caves half way up cliffs in sub -10C temps. I don't have kids but one of our group does and they're generally happy to get involved in most of what we do. (Although we wouldn't take them to a cave in -10, that was a very masochistic version of a good time)

Freezing cold sea in shit weather? Nah that sounds completely rubbish. I don't even like going in the sea anywhere in the UK because even in warmest summer it's bloody freezing

My suggestion for enjoying it is finding activities you actually enjoy. Most of my outdoors and camping stuff is centred around climbing, I wouldn't enjoy the cold miserable parts without there being a significant reward attached.