To secretly envy outdoorsy families

[Purplefoxes]

I envy outdoorsy families. They look like they have so much fun together and just make it all look so easy. Our family on the other hand, we are a bunch of wimpy townies!..DH does not like any sport (I've tried!) Or most activities which involve breaking a sweat, DS1 6YO is into gaming (not through my choice) and whines for screens regularly and DS2 is only 4 months old. We just went on a Easter break in Cornwall, got wetsuits and thought we'd give body boarding a go with DS1... 15 minutes in the shallows, 9 degree water and we were out again shivering and begging for hot chocolate, DH laughing on the beach with DS2 🤣 not quite what I envisaged but probably shouldn't be surprised given the weather and the temperatures! Should I give up and assume it's just not in us, we are just not hardy folk or should we keep trying, can we change? Love the idea of wild swimming, coastal and mountain walks, camping under the stars. But the reality of lashing rain, mud and sand in unmentionable places, endless washing, dodgy loos, whinging kids etc etc is holding me back. Wise mumsnetters, is there a trick to being more outdoorsy, how do you make it more bearable?

Definitely right.

DD started camping in May and by October was able to camp while temperatures at night were down to 4 degrees.

She since camped in the mud, rain and even slight frost. Only Scouts can be so crazy to go on camps in January.

But, it only works with the right kit like winter sleeping bags and proper insulated air beds and plenty of appropriate clothing, her thermal layers have thermal layers.

Congratulations on taking your first step into being outdoorsy! Most of the outdoorsy families you've seen will have done exactly what you've done... lots of times. I.e. tried something out and learned from the experience. You just learned that the sea in the UK is not a great place for a 6yo until say July unless you have a full body winter wetsuit plus hats and socks! We are a pretty outdoorsy family... watersports, mountains, rock climbing etc but I think 6yo in the vast majority of cases is very young to get consistent enjoyment from these activities. At this age lots of walks in the woods, building dens, sand castle building, rock pooling, shell collecting, kite flying, scrambling on safe/low rocks and a suggested above geocaching are more safe and fun options to build up enthusiasm for the outdoors. Accompanied by fun make believe stories, bug spotting etc and followed (as you have cleverly figured out) by nice hot chocolates, toasties etc to keep everyone in a good mood! Save the mountain climbing/ winter surfing/ ice climbing until they're a bit bigger!!! Good luck and enjoy

Honestly, it’s not all instagram loveliness. We are ‘outdoorsy’ live in a very picturesque part of the UK with mountains and beautiful beaches where people come to holiday. I love living here, but kids are still a PITA to get outside, complain about the rain and mud, cry as soon as they cold. They do enjoy certain activities, horse riding, rock climbing, but we need to plan and pay for those. Otherwise just getting outside is a massive drama. We live on a farm, beautiful mountain views, we have horses and chickens, a dog, acres of land and wood to play in. They still have meltdowns because they just want to watch YouTube or go into town for shopping. You wouldn’t know it from social media what a nightmare it is to get them to do anything. 😩 There are lots of beautiful outdoor spaces in and close to towns though. Things like Cubs/Scouts are great for encouraging outdoor activities too.

@mindutopia This is my experience. I can't afford to pay for expensive outdoor activities. But getting them outside for anything is hard work, And no they do not always enjoy it once they are out there.

So when they were younger a walk in the woods would be about 10 minutes of fun and 30 minutes of moaning and whinging, even though I played games, sang, etc.

😆I was about to post to say that behind the outdoorsy family, hale and hearty, everyone "living their best life" facebook and instagram type posts there's often a lot of hard work and tears "encouraging" the children to get out at all and to complete hikes.
I mentioned upthread that I'm very outdoorsy. I moved to the Alps to live in the mountains. I go hiking a lot. When I do day hikes around the local area I meet families most days and most days I see at least one child crying, screaming, refusing to go on or having to be dragged up the mountain.
I even encountered a family on a peak once where a child was lying on the ground wailing and the dad was trying to persuade him to stop crying and smile for the photo (rest of family hanging around the summit cross waiting). Can't have a wailing child on social media.

I think it's up to parents to decide whether to keep trying with children who really don't want to be outdoors. If it's torture for them, it ends up being torture for everyone. Often the problem is that the hike (or other activity) is beyond the capability of the child or that the nutrition isn't right - not enough quality snacks during the walk or an inadequate breakfast.

I gave up trying to do this after one particularly bad Sunday. They are teenagers now so I have no chance now anyway. I just go walks by myself. About once every six months one of them joins me.

I hear you op my kids are sort of out doors types, but the youngest is screen monster! Best thing I ever did was get a dog, you have to walk it.. so youngest is pretty fit now and as a result got into football and rugby. But his dad takes him so he's a help rather than a hindrance. But he never ever takes the dog out as he doesn't like getting food trainers muddy 😬

Things you could try:

• Scavenger hunts (either for natural objects, colours, things starting with certain letters)
• Walk/ bike to a local park and play football/ ball games, have a picnic
• Lots of woods have signposted trails, you could go for walk/ bike ride/ scooter ride. Lots will also have seasonal stuff, especially in school hols, eg our local ones have done an easter egg scavenger hunt.
• National trust memberships/ local attractions - pack a lunch and some games and go to a few during the school hols/ on a weekend.
• Once it gets a bit warmer, beach days
• Do things you'd usually do in the house outdoors (eg drawing becomes portraits in the park, or shadow drawing in the garden, loads of ideas on Pinterest)
• Would be easy to wack a pack of cards, uno, snap, jenga, and a pad of paper and pens, and get outside and play them with the kids. If you're not very outdoorsy this is a pretty easy way to start, and it'll probably help to ween you 6yo off the screen time too, as it makes it easy to then start doing these things in the house too.
• Get outside when it's wet - gear up and go for a muddy, puddle jumping walk.

I think the most important thing in becoming more outdoorsy is to get out the house most days, make sure you've all got appropriate clothes (wellies and puddlesuits/ waterproof trousers and jacket, as well as warm layers), and supplies (snacks and a flask), and remember a couple hours outside is better than no time outside, if you've spent an hour at the park and you're all cold, wet and miserable, it's fine to then come home!
Also don't make it a punishment, find things you'll all find fun, and if you're trying to wean your little one off screentime, still allow some when you get home, at least initially.

Dear God, no!!

I have an “indoorsy family”

We go to cinema, museums, galleries, concerts, theatre and read millions of books.

We draw, paint, write and knit.

Do what suits you, we’re all different.

We try a bit of both but our outdoors is picnic and a walk, outdoor attractions (theme park, seaside resort/beach, nice garden). We like being in the outdoors. You don't have to be sporty to like being outdoors.

I’m not really into camping… but we have been a few times with friends…. Families from the kids primary school. They left years ago but love meeting up and going feral. You can sit in the evening sunshine and drink wine!

Absolutely 100% what @456pickupsticks says, get them started young so it’s normal for them.

My children were outside as much as possible from a very early age, carried in backpack carrier, puddle suits and wellies as soon as walking, every day unless very heavy rain or too cold. Puddle jumping, exploring the woods and fields, whatever there was to get them out in the fresh air and active.
As they grew up they built dens, camped out overnight, had fires to cook marshmallows and sausages; their school friends thought it was marvellous! We lived on a farm so big open spaces but even if we hadn’t they would have been encouraged to get outside.
Plenty of ‘adventures’, picnics, hot dogs and flasks of soup, pond dipping, whatever you can think of to stimulate their brains and get them interested.
My DS, DDIL and DGCs have followed on, the DGCs are loving it too.

We meet my husbands many siblings at Sherwood Pines very frequently. Last time was half term so their adult children and many grandchildren came too. They are all outdoorsy but someone was whinging at some point throughout the day. They had warm gear, they had their bikes. There were lots of trails they could do ,it wasn't massively muddy and the cafe was warm with lovely food. They also did different things in chunks. Time on the bikes in the child friendly 'off road' section specifically built for children. Time in the play areas. Time to eat lunch and chat. Time for an easy walk looking for acorns ,the world's most perfect stick etc. A day that just consisted of a massive bike ride or a massive hike would not have been as successful. They do it because they enjoy it. They didn't take any photos and no one has Instagram. They weren't doing it to impress 'friends '.

You need really thick wetsuits with feet at this time of year.

My tips for being outdoorsy. Always have the right kit, good waterproofs, walking boots, hats, gloves, wetsuits etc. Always carry snacks, hit drinks etc. Invest in some good back packs.

Try out different activities, hire bikes, kayaks, SUPs. Go for regular walks and build up stamina. Insist on no headphones for the walks.

I think it's easier when you live somewhere with easy access. We have beaches, Moor, woods, mountain bike trails, climbing walls, rivers etc all within 15 mins so our lifestyle has grown around those activities. We are however, fairly useless at getting involved in cultural activities such as museums, galleries and theatre. Costs so much for us to do visits to London and less available where we live.

But the reality of lashing rain, mud and sand in unmentionable places, endless washing, dodgy loos, whinging kids etc etc is holding me back.

Haha this is us. We are not outdoorsy people at all and it's ok! We much prefer museums, going to nice places and being clean lol. I don't envy something that I don't enjoy.

Start small and think about you rather than a fantasy about what you’d like to be. Try things without pressure.

Also don’t start surfing out of season.. go gently OP. Although your husband and son giggling on the beach doesn’t sound like a bad result.

Try different things. You never know what your DC may like until you try it. No 6 year old should have a hobby of gaming.

So what’s your plan for the day OP?

no need for hikes and beach trips. Get you your dh out to the park for a stroll. Grab a take away coffee. Swing by the playground.

tomorrow maybe try a different park or even local wood. But don’t, FGS, think “oh well we went out yesterday so today just TV and gaming”!

I know you said outdoorsy, but it seems part of that is being sporty. You could aim to do indoor sports when the weather is bad. Badminton/tennis/swimming.

Don’t be defeated. I surf in Cornwall and at the moment I’m in a thick winter wetsuit with boots, hood, and gloves. With this gear it’s fine. With a cheap thin summer suit, definitely not suitable for the British sea now!
Give it another try when the water has warmed up later in the year, or with a better wetsuit.
And as others have said, start small. Find some activities that you can all do together, and with the right gear, hopefully something will spark all of your interests!

Limit all types of screens until they are 10, e.g. 45 mins CBeebies before bed or an iPad game, a bit longer at the weekend.. No other phone games to keep them quiet etc. Same rules for the adults - they shouldn’t see people spend hours on screens. Boredom is a good thing..

If you limit the screens, they’ll happily hang out in the back garden/balcony/park/driveway , getting filthy and generally growing more robust. I acknowledge it’s harder if you have no outside space so perhaps rugby or football clubs would fill the gap?

Some of our outdoors experiences have been dreadful with wailing kids but they aced the outdoor parts of the various DofE components. 😃 It’s a long game.

Limit all types of screens until they are 10,

they almost certainly need limits after 10 too!

I spent my kids’ childhood shivering in parks and they are all now slim and fit. Not outdoorsy necessarily but I am now glad that the effort was made.

Rudsy’s idea of organised activities is good.

My son is outdoorsy I guess - he likes to keep very gif so if not in the gym goes for long walks and runs. Very sporty too at school (oh those Sunday mornings in the mud and rain watching him get pounded in rugby - he loved it).
My daughter and I aren't. But that doesn't mean we don't have fun. We went to Bath for the weekend and had an amazing time. As a family we go to Spain snd though we are indeed outside it's not that we are hiking up the hills but exploring new restaurants and chilling by the pool.