To secretly envy outdoorsy families

[Purplefoxes]

I envy outdoorsy families. They look like they have so much fun together and just make it all look so easy. Our family on the other hand, we are a bunch of wimpy townies!..DH does not like any sport (I've tried!) Or most activities which involve breaking a sweat, DS1 6YO is into gaming (not through my choice) and whines for screens regularly and DS2 is only 4 months old. We just went on a Easter break in Cornwall, got wetsuits and thought we'd give body boarding a go with DS1... 15 minutes in the shallows, 9 degree water and we were out again shivering and begging for hot chocolate, DH laughing on the beach with DS2 🤣 not quite what I envisaged but probably shouldn't be surprised given the weather and the temperatures! Should I give up and assume it's just not in us, we are just not hardy folk or should we keep trying, can we change? Love the idea of wild swimming, coastal and mountain walks, camping under the stars. But the reality of lashing rain, mud and sand in unmentionable places, endless washing, dodgy loos, whinging kids etc etc is holding me back. Wise mumsnetters, is there a trick to being more outdoorsy, how do you make it more bearable?

Pick your timing and accommodation wisely. Outdoor activities in inclement weather are more palatable if you have a solid roof and a good (private) shower.

It's a bit cold for beaches even with wetsuits too.

Start simply, a mile or so interpreted well sign posted loop not too far from home (look for a walks with kids book for your area or look for a forest park/local reservoir with trails) then build up to a decent length. Take trail snacks (aka bribes) and always ensure everyone has decent footwear and good waterproofs as wet bodies and sore feet won't win them around.

If you want to try camping I suggest near st David's in Pembrokeshire, the main beach is amazing and quieter than the sw. Where we stayed was 10 mins walk from the beach and 20 minutes walk into the shops.

YABU. My idea of absolute hell.

It’s all about having the right stuff! Make sure you’ve got properly warm and waterproof footwear/clothing for children (lots of things say they’re waterproof but they aren't really 😡), take spare socks and gloves (those small woollen ones are good as spares as the fit in most pockets), clothes and always take hats and scarfs for children for when they finally admit they’re cold. Get yourself a waterproof rucksack or a waterproof cover as you don’t want spares to get wet! Hot chocolate will cure anything when you’re out so get a small thermos. If your 6yr old likes dinosaurs, go dino hunting. We’ve got a den building kit so disappear to the woods, set up camp, the DC go find sticks while we start a mini camping fire to cook the sausages 😬 I’ve got mini first aid kits I always take that have got children’s plasters, sting cream and any other “magic” solution to keep them going. Bribery works as does counting or song singing. I’ve found they love being outdoors but not necessarily doing the things you want to do eg if they’re in a forest they will forensically examine tree stump for 45 mins rather than making sure adults get some exercise.

if you’ve got a baby have you thought about a bike trailer? They’re brilliant for luggage so you can go out for the whole day and overpack without too many problems. Maybe get a tow rope/bar thingy for the 6yr old then you can go further.

You can get heaps of things on eBay/FB Marketplace. Research the best brands/technology so you what to look for. NEVER got to the beach without talcum powder and always have an IKEA bag in the boot (stand child in bag, remove muddy/sandy shoes and clothing, re-clothe child and ignore contents of IKEA bag until absolutely necessary). There are some outdoors things I would never even consider and some that I love doing. Find what works for you and let other people get on with the fell running etc!

Try something like kayaking with an instructor, on a lake and with their wet suits. It will give your D's and DH a feel for it without an expensive layout.

Yes, this is what we did. A bit of bribery gets you through the whiny stage. We just did ten miles with our two on Thursday, they’re used to it now. Both happy to go (early 20s and teen), both whined a bit when young but we pushed through it.

I couldn't think of anything worse.

@Maray1967 I got almost constant whining and stopped it because I wondered why I was purposely making weekends so bloody miserable for everyone.

For every happy family you see, there's a set of parents with a screaming toddler who are questioning their life choices

I was raised in one of those happy, active families and to be honest, bribery played a key role in most things we did! I remember being bribed with Starburst to walk up mountains, and ice-cream to walk around lakes

Most of our days out involved picnics, or stops at cafés for ice cream, hot chocolate or cake.

Looking at the weather is also key - don't force yourself out in all weathers just because you feel like you should - there's nothing fun about trudging up a mountain in the pissing rain with a miserable child in tow!

Totally agree. The word I missed was “severely”!

Remember that you’re seeing this through the lens of social media.

I’m sure we look like an outdoorsy family from my posts. I can assure you that there is much screaming, demanding to be carried, whinging, and loads of screen time that doesn’t get posted.

I'd say start simple and build up from there. Make a commitment to walking more often and invest in good waterproof gear and a decent back pack for picnics and thermos and maybe a decent baby carrier for your little one when you feel you're ready to do walks without a pram. We go out a lot regardless of the weather, key is having good waterproofs and thermals to keep you warm and I bring a picnic which is a thermos container of hot stew and flasks of tea and biscuits. That really warms you up. I keep towels in the car and a change of socks and shoes so I can take off muddy hiking boots easily. I've brought a change of leggings too. The beach, national trust grounds and nature reserves are all great places to start before upgrading to forest parks etc. You can look up the route and it's accessibility and facilities online before you go. Outdoorsy families get cold and the kids complain too, they just don't post that part on social media. And the more regularly they do it the more the kids will get used to it. You could make it fun through things like geocaching or turn it into orienteering with a map and compass. If you can afford to, classes are really fun like going kayaking or surf school etc until you're confident enough to do it independently. You could also enrol your older child in scouts, they do lots of outdoor work and bushcraft skills etc so he could have fun practicing what he learns and build his confidence with it.

I like active stuff and have previously done a fairly niche water based hobby to a high level.

BUT my red line is camping. I dislike it hugely.
I'll stay in a static caravan (I'd probably cope with a motorhome/ standard caravan), cheap hotel, B&B or youth hostel but I need a bed.

It's become a huge joke - I go on trips with friends and they camp and I stay in the bunkhouse!

In order to enjoy the outdoors you also need the right gear - being cold and wet is miserable.

I'm quite outdoorsy but not in the UK. The weather is too shite and unpredictable. I love boating/sailing abroad it's too cold here 10 months of the year or pisses it down. I think if you can't stand bad weather it's difficult to have an outdoorsy life style. I've accepted it I would have to move abroad to be outdoors a lot.

Also just as an aside, if it's really not your family's thing it doesn't mean you couldn't make it a wee hobby for yourself and join a rambling club to get your outdoorsy fix with a bit of company?

Why no headphones for walks? I love listening to music while walking.

I'd like to put in a word for narrowboating. It isn't cheap (though early in the year it rates are far better than summer), but it's a great holiday with children - and the boats have central heating so you can always be cosy (some have woodburners too). The bigger boats will easily take two families, or grandparents, so you can share costs, cooking, steering. You can lash bikes to the roof and take them along.

We did this with our children from a very young age. You have to make sure they wear lifejackets keep a close eye on them when going through locks (when small they were kept inside the boat) and in boatyards, but the canals themselves are generally not very deep.

Google and see if you can find a Forest School near you. They often do sessions at weekends and during the holidays. You can leave the children there or participate in a family day. It's great — they learn to build and make things, they light fires and cook stuff.

Kayaking or canoeing: try going on a half-day training with your DS in the summer. Absolutely freezing now, but in the summer it's a fantastic way to see a whole different aspect of life from water.

Otherwise look for events in parks and countryside near you. Walks, bike rides, activity days and go when you can. Nature trails, going for walks and stopping to look at flowers and plants and birds etc. The weather doesn't make a difference when you have the correct clothing, so think about investing in good thermals and waterproofs.

How about going to a local climbing centre? Loads of kids love that and it builds strength and physical confidence and, more importantly, will introduce you to people who like doing outdoorsy things — and they will have ideas for you.

I live a 20-minute walk from the sea and I have a wetsuit and board and I wouldn't dream of getting into the water before June at the earliest. Try again in the summer, but well done for giving it a go. Hot chocolate from a thermos and marshmallows toasted over a little twiggy fire on the beach are your DS's reward for giving it a go.

Cut out the video games. Learn to enjoy life in reality.

Walks in countryside, OP. Chivvy mobile kids with chips & hot chock reward at destination. Good quality buggy for the baby.

Narrowboating holidays are very expensive.
This is my issue. The kind of things I could get my kids interested in are all expensive. It is why for many an outdoorsy life is for middle class families.

Why no headphones for walks? I love listening to music while walking.

Because it's not being in nature, in the here and now. It's a distraction. Children will benefit from talking to their parents and others. Talking — commenting on what you see, chatting about ideas and so on — helps develop language and social skills. There's a particular pond I walk around most weeks and sometimes I hear a faint splash and stop to look and see an otter, sometimes several. Lovely to see. Wouldn't hear it if I had headphones on.

Instead of being envious, you can act now, since kids are small. if you don't then it's you, it's your fault, you didn't make the family to be like the family you wanted it to be.

@grapehyacinthisactuallyblue absolute rubbish. We do not have money for climbing, narrow boating holidays, etc. I tried all the cheap and free outdoorsy stuff. Lots of walking, geocaching, treasure hunts, games, outside, etc. Most of it was spent with one whiny or crying child. After one particular miserable day at a national trust property I stopped doing this. I realised I was making every weekend utterly miserable. Instead I now go for a walk myself and very occasionally one of my kids joins me.

You can't force people to like things 😂

You can't force people to like things

Yes, very true. So, if you've tried to be outdoorsy and your family don't like it, it's life.

But tif they've never tried stuff they won't know if they like it or not. Sounds as if DH is the kind of man who, given the chance, would spend most of his life playing computer games. The children deserve better.