Aibu: the new Vanish advert makes autistic teens look like assholes

[Squirrefromthewirrell]

Just seen the new (at least to me) vanish detergent advert. It focuses on an autistic teen girl called Ash who has a favourite hoodie. All through the add the character is just displaying awful behaviour that even being autistic doesn't excuse (shouting at siblings to shut up, having a go at someone who accidentally walks into her, playing drums whilst her family are trying to spend time together)

Am I wrong to think it's just showing a very unsavoury side ? The overall message is lovely - extend the life of familiar clothes that can comfort people like ash who are autistic but the actual advert just rubbed me the wrong way

Yes agreed @SwedishEdith .

On the one hand, great that there is more visibility for young autistic women. But I found its portrayal really quite negative and ended up feeling sorry for her siblings and wondering why some behaviours weren't addressed by her parents - eg the drumming.

I hear what you're saying.

Perhaps (hopefully) that might be their next ad.

I have an ASD son and he has terrible self esteem issues related to his diagnosis. I have had to turn the tv over quickly if that ad comes on as I know it would make him feel 10 x worse to see that his ASD could be viewed that way to others.
I’m all for more representation but the ad does focus on the negative behaviours and impacts on the family a bit too much.

I actually really related to a lot of it which is odd because you don't usually see it being portrayed on TV, particularly not like that. I think if you dont really understand what shes going through, maybe it can come across as horrible but certain things like the shouting at her siblings to shut up - if there's too much noise around me, it can feel like someone is jamming knitting needles into my ears and like my skin is peeling from my bones and I can't breathe so that can be expressed as anger. Its not anger its just unbearable especially when you can't escape. With the person bumping into her, again when it's crowded and busy and loud and bright it's confusing and really disorientating and scary, so someone bumping into you just feels awful because your on high alert anyway. Well at least that's how it is for me - my mum did call me an arsehole and a bitch and an evil cow and all manner of other names growing up, I was always called a drama queen and laughed at when I got upset about things and called crazy and insane. So yeah, I think a lot of people can have that perception but feeling like that isn't easy.

@MoMandaS

It's not ableist to say a child living in fear in one's home, and walking on eggshells, is living in an abusive environment.

You need to rethink your attitude of autism doesn't excuse bad behaviour.

It's not bad behaviour.

It's behaviours that occur as a result of the person's autism.

Sensory overload causing meltdown for example.

You see 'bad behaviour'. Oh they're shouting and throwing things or yelling or lashing out. Tsk tsk what bad behaviour. Autism is no excuse for that...

I see a person with autism being completely overwhelmed and reacting in very typical and well documented ways that are wholly a result of their disability.

Ridiculous though to compare it to living with an abusive parent.

“The film was truly a co-production with Ash and the family – I wanted it to be their voice. Everything in the film is based on Ash and the family’s experience of living with autism. The script was completely rewritten to reflect their lived experience, and we used improvisation on set throughout so that I could capture their voices. Ash’s mum has a background in stage acting, but Ash’s dad and her sister Lily were also acting here for the first time. Even Ash’s two friends in the school scenes were played by her actual best friends – also non-actors!

Interesting info here from the makers of the advert.

Hmm interesting point of view.
My dd is one of the silent majority who has to put up with others' poor behaviour - she's autistic.

Absolutely ridiculous, yes, and very naive /uninformed/ lacking experience to suggest that children who have disabilities that make them wheelchair users don't also display 'challenging' behaviour.

A few points here.

Just because a behaviour us caused by autism does not make it Ok and siblings and other classmates should not have to just put up and shut up as some parents on here seem to think. The autistic child also needs strategies to manage not just everyone around them. Sen schools should be vastly expanded tbh as what nt kids have to cope with, especially in primary, is completely unacceptable. Eg chairs being thrown and extreme violence, whole classes evacuated daily for safety, and there is no way for the school to keep them safe as the minority are prioritised every time. This cannot just be ignored and does nothing to help acceptance and tolerance.

Teenagers do those things even when not autistic....

I think it was a weird idea because it acted like their specific brand of detergent was helping autistic teens loads. Very self aggrandising.

But I didn't mind the portrayal.

Wow! what a powerful advert!

Just watched the full version, in tears.

Since this is an advert, it could garner a huge amount of negative attention and BBC still be considered a success if more Vanish is sold.

I disagree

Apologies @SwedishEdith , no idea how I managed to quote you
It was meant for @PoorOldHorse

As a sibling of an older autistic man it really resonated with me. The walking on eggshells and him controlling the house is my overwhelming memory of childhood.

There probably are things that can be said, eg the shut up and drums etc

And it is just a soap ad

But the ending makes me cry. I know it’s silly but when she’s really struggling it just gets me

Sen schools should be vastly expanded tbh as what nt kids have to cope with, especially in primary, is completely unacceptable. Eg chairs being thrown and extreme violence, whole classes evacuated daily for safety, and there is no way for the school to keep them safe as the minority are prioritised every time.

I can't quite get my head round this.

If your child had SN, are you honestly saying they'd be safer and get a better education in a class where every single pupil also has SN?

Or are you saying 'Fuck them, let them get chairs thrown at them, I don't care as long as they're not going to school with my child'?

I thought it was a very realistic portrayal, but some of her behaviour towards her sister crossed a line. Autism supercharging the normal teen horribleness. I certainly found myself wondering why the drum kit was set up in the living room! And why she didn’t have noise cancelling headphones in the car. It didn’t seem right that her parents didn’t stick up for the sister, but realistically when they’re teetering on the edge of meltdown all that’s going to do is push them over the edge. It did make me uncomfortable though.

@orangeflags so sorry to hear that.
Unfortunately these experiences are minimized in society - hope that at least the rest of your family was sympathetic to you.

Can't really get on board with a brand using autistics to get sales.

As that's what this is.

It looked a lot like our life and made me well up. A step in the right direction showing how autism seems to affect girls.

Appreciate the apology. 🙂

There is a difference between behaviour being "ok" and it being understood to be part of the presentation of a disability!

My younger son is very aggressive and prone to violent outbursts. When he shouts or trashes his room or strangles himself or tries to hit me is that ok? Of course not. That would be a ridiculous statement.
Do I understand that it is caused by his autism? Yes. Do I blame him for it or call it bad behaviour? Of course I don't.