Aibu: the new Vanish advert makes autistic teens look like assholes

[Squirrefromthewirrell]

Just seen the new (at least to me) vanish detergent advert. It focuses on an autistic teen girl called Ash who has a favourite hoodie. All through the add the character is just displaying awful behaviour that even being autistic doesn't excuse (shouting at siblings to shut up, having a go at someone who accidentally walks into her, playing drums whilst her family are trying to spend time together)

Am I wrong to think it's just showing a very unsavoury side ? The overall message is lovely - extend the life of familiar clothes that can comfort people like ash who are autistic but the actual advert just rubbed me the wrong way

This was a hard watch for this reason also. I know my daughter's challenges have an impact on her younger brother. It's so hard to get the balance and, if I'm honest, I feel that I fail in most instances.

That's a very good point. This thread is full of autism-bashing, demonising and tales of how it's so horrible to live with someone who is autistic so it's refreshing to actually see someone speaking up for us.

And I might add that some autistic people do just fine in polite society. I mean, many of us are toilet-trained and able to eat with flatware, just like real people.

The advert is ridiculous. No sibling should have to put up with that. And telling the classmate she was going to fail her exam?! Utter nastiness and would result in a hiding around here. I have no doubt that girl has many wonderful features and abilities but the advert makes her come across as an abusive arse.

Oh wow. That was so powerful. Crying buckets here.

So beating a disabled person for being disabled is fine round your way? How nice.

I think it was the storyline. Lily felt annoyed at previous stuff so took the hoody

I understand they all inputted but I wonder if the advertising overlay added some stuff that didn’t come across so well

They needed a story. Maybe they are more equipped with helping Ash cope (in the car or with headphones and drums)

@Florissante don't be a Wally, I clearly said that in relation to telling a classmate they would fail their exam. Disability or not, you can't go round talking shit like that to fellow teens, they're all impulsive but they're not all rude and insulting.

Well, I feel like I am failing him (ASD), his younger sister and his older sister, so yeah I feel like a total failure most of the time.

I was that sister and it has had a profound impact on my life tbh. I think the advert showed the struggles of living with a teenage girl with autism well. It's exactly what my sister was like at that age. Unfortunately for her she was a teenager back in the days when 'girls didn't have autism' so we had no idea what the issues were. The thing that upsets me is that everyone focuses on the autistic sibling and the rest of us get forgotten

The sibling takes revenge and then realises it’s not her sister’s fault. We are shown it’s hard for the sibling. Regarding the exam failing comment, I can only assume you have never been near any teenagers, sone of them say worse stuff than that to each other routinely and without a reason like ASD.

You're delightful

I totally take your point and you are valued in this house, if nowhere else.

But my DS would be the first one to switch the telly off with a 'fucking Rainman shit' if that was what was shown.

@Layla30 those were my exact feelings too. I see children who really struggle with siblings with ASC and it is hard for them.

Although, I think we saw a cluster of Ash's behaviour which might not be indicative of actual day-in-the-life.

As a point of reference, in the eleven years since ds was diagnosed, dd has been offered one three hour workshop where they all wrote down one thing they found most challenging about their sibling, drew pictures and learned some sign language (her db is fully verbal) and got a balloon.

So that’s the family support box ticked for us.

Because she was angry at her sister always getting to do what she wanted above everyone else. She perceived it as 'special treatment' that she never gets.

So she did it to hurt Ash as a reaction.

Snap! My sister was violent and abusive. She would throw things and punch/kick/pull hair. Once she laid on top of me until I couldn't breathe because I moved into 'her' spot when she went to the toilet. My parents did their best but it was a shit way to grow up. I was extremely lucky that I had another sister very close in age and we kept each other sane. One of the reasons I have 3 kids now is because my second is autistic and I didn't want the eldest to have to cope with that on her own. If I hadn't have had another sibling I don't think I'd be here now tbh.

When I watched it I thought it was very real.

I didn’t think the autistic girl looked like an arsehole. I could see her anxiety and how much she struggled. But then I know what it feels like to be an autistic girl.

Yes, her sibling suffered but that’s real too.

@mastertomsmum I have been around plenty, and parent 2. My kids and their friends are very supportive of each other, and mark my words if I heard anyone of them telling a friend or classmate they were going to fail their exam/exams there would be consequences, not that I or any of their parents have been in that position. Or is rudeness allowed when autism can be used as an excuse?

She apologised because she realised she'd gone too far when she saw Ash shutting down. She'd thought it would annoy her not make her spiral. It was her realising how much the jumper means to her autistic sister because their brains work differently that made her give it back. She realised the other behaviour was also because of Ash's autism not because of malicious intent.

I'm with you OP. She just came across as a horrible person in the advert. I felt sorry for the sister more than anything.

The none autistic kids would not do this in front of an adult. Many kids would not tell their parents half the stuff that goes on in school/on insta/Snapchat or whatever. Having been at school myself, even I the 1980s kids were not esp kind to each other in reliable fashion. My Mum once told me she thought Grange Hill was an exaggeration (circa 1982) I just looked at her and said “Mum, it’s much worse”

The portrayal aside, the fact they're using autism to sell fucking washing powder is a low point.

@mastertomsmum you don't check your kids social media?

I think the corridor scene was really well done, actually- a lot of secondary school corridors are a nightmare for students with sensory difficulties or anxiety, and unfortunately there isn't a good solution (except to build schools with more space!). Modern schools tend to have much wider corridors to avoid "pinch points" etc- but often older schools have part of the building made for a much smaller school population and the space can be intimidating/unpleasant for everyone. They can be scary for small Y7s, too.

Obviously schools will try to mitigate things, but the character was upset and maybe overreacted- but this honestly happens every day in some schools, and the student often genuinely feels like they have been pushed/targetted because they are scared.

WRT the "you're going to fail" comment- I thought it was an attempt at a joke from someone who's lacking in social skills a bit. Teens do make these sorts of comments.

I can't speak to the scenes at home, but all the scenes in school felt authentic to me.

Right so where are we going with this question? Are you assuming I do or I don’t. Will matter what the answer to the second question is?