To be so upset? It's a birthday one.

[FuckParkdean]

NC but regular poster etc.

My partner and I both have April birthdays. His at the start and mine today. It is our first birthdays within this relationship (does that even make sense?!). Anyway, for his birthday a week or so back, I spent a fair amount on him, day sitting for a tattoo, took the kids out (both have DD's from previous relationships) to pick him bits, had him a special cake made, went bowling as a family on me, took him out for dinner just the two of us and then spent the next day shopping with him. Balloons, banners etc because I wanted him to feel special and have a great weekend.

Today, nothing. We are away at a caravan resort with the DD's, I have cards from family and a present from DD (bought by her dad) and that's it. He hasn't wished me a happy birthday, I didn't get a lie in, no breakfast, nothing. I got up with the girls, did their breakfast, planned the day as we normally would on holiday (centred around the girls), came back from our first activity and made everyone lunch etc you get the point - business as usual for a mum. His dad said he had sent him some money for us to go out for dinner as a family tonight for my birthday, he's spent that on god knows what so once again I'll be fronting the bill for dinner. He hasn't said happy birthday but has put a card in front of me. But that's it. Not even a fairy cake with a candle in or a cup of tea and 20 minutes in bed whilst he gets up with the girls.

AIBU to feel so upset?? Or is 28 old and birthdays are done now? My marriage broke down on my 25th birthday and left me broken but this somehow tops that, I feel so unappreciated.

Just bcos u made a fuss doesn’t mean it’ll be reciprocated.
Some people don’t think Birthdays are a thing to make a fuss about, if u want someone to fuss over u sounds like u need to find a new partner.

I’m with absolutely everyone else who says you’ve rushed into things.
My friend got together with someone after her marriage broke down and her kids knew nothing about it for almost 2 years. Which was good because when she ended it with him at least they didn’t have another emotional rollercoaster to contend with, losing their stepdad aswell as their dad moving out.
Why are people in such a rush to settle down with new partners that they sideline their kids needs???
End this relationship, he’s either feckless with money, a user or just isn’t that into you. Maybe a combination of all 3.

Firstly-Happy Birthday!
Secondly-you are not a family-you are boyfriend and girlfriend and have been going out for less than a year.
Thirdly-if he met someone he desperately wanted to be with and was so afraid of losing her that he would always want to meet her expectations, then he would. You are not that person.
Fourthly-Give yourself the birthday present of self value. Thank him for his card and say, "Thank you for your efforts-they are no longer needed. Goodbye"

Fucking hell I did more than that for my dog's Birthday the other day. Dump his selfish arse. I'm firmly of the opinion (barring being completely broke) you get what you accept and this to me would be completely unacceptable.

I do think you went a bit overboard for his birthday HOWEVER for him to do absolutely nothing for your first birthday together is utterly shit. Agree with everyone else that you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

So sorry OP. He’s a shitty boyfriend.

Dump and move on.

Happy birthday! Give yourself the best present ever by dumping him. Just a pity the kids have already been blended after less than a year together.

If you stay with him you're a mug. Truly.

he’s either feckless with money, a user or just isn’t that into you. Maybe a combination of all 3

Please end this relationship asap.

@Patchworksack yes he definitely should have said "Happy Birthday" - that's not on. But unless she said where she would like to go for dinner, if there's something specific she wants to do on the actual day or if there's a gift she would love to receive how would he know. I never understand the birthday/Christmas posts about recieving rubbish gifts and people saying "I hinted several times I would like X". Why hint? Just SAY.
@FuckParkdean how do you know he has spent the money for the meal and I do also agree with everyone else - I don't think this relationship is going well. Perhaps you need to rethink what you want out of a relationship.
Oh....and Happy Birthday 💐

Is his dad good-looking? Sounds like a better bet.

Oh please. Get rid.

Happy birthday
After all your efforts for his birthday you’re not unreasonable to have expected more. However you appear to have said nothing. I would have kicked him out of bed with my breakfast order asking what the plan was for the day. Subtlety is my middle name. I had an epiphany years ago about birthdays. You can make it great yourself!

I would also be upset given the effort that you went too to make him feel special on his birthday. Not to make excuses for him, but some men can just be rubbish and need to be told what to do, so if you're otherwise happy with the relationship, my advice would be to tell him how you feel and what your expectation would have been and give him the opportunity to make it up to you, hoping that things improve for your birthday next year!
Also happy birthday to you 😊

You have a choice. You can decide what your future life is like by choosing who to commit to spending it with. Find someone who will appreciate you and be kinder, and you’ll have a happier life.

I’m so sorry you haven’t been treated well on your birthday, especially when you went all out for him.

I would be very unhappy with a partner who acted like that on my birthday. My first birthday with my DP we were skint but we had a lovely day together at home and a home cooked meal, it’s not always about the money spent but the effort put in.

Sending lots of birthday love!

Happy birthday OP

Let this be the last one he disappointed you on

I wouldn't stand for this. First chance he has to show you some appreciation on your birthday and zero effort. His dad sounds like a decent guy, shame it's not hereditary.

This is a dumpable offence. And don't let him tell you you're being precious or demanding. He has fucked up majorly.

Don't be a mug for any man.

Seriously, stop making any effort for him for his birthday, Father’s Day, Christmas etc. No presents, no dinner, no outings.

And assess how much you do for him generally. If he doesn’t do his share of the housework and childcare, then don’t cook or wash for the dickhead.

My dh was a grumpy twat on any occasion that wasn't based around him. When he ruined my 40th he was an exh before I was 41..

I think you need to be very wary as this might just be the ‘flavour’ of your relationship. My advice if he doesn’t have enough redeeming features to make up for this lapse (if it even is a lapse and not just par for the course) is bin him before you get in too deep. This is meant to be the time people show their very best versions of themselves before the rot sets in 😯

This!!

Get rid of him and never introduce your child to a man and other kids so soon.

Not at all self explanatory. I have no idea whatsoever.

If I had another life this would be my motto from the off!

A day, sitting for a tattoo, ie having a tattoo done. A day sitting is usually when someone is having a big piece done maybe over a few sessions and costs £££