To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

I don't think many men are happy with it nowadays. A lot of men don't respect a woman that doesn't work and expects to be kept. Ask a millennial or gen z man would he be happy to have a housewife most would say no 🤣.

It entirely depends where you draw your fulfilment from.

I'm a qualified professional, letters after my name etc. Hated it. Done the big important job, and whilst I felt a small amount of satisfaction when I'd achieve something deemed impressive within my field, it was short lived. I hated work. Good money. That's the only pro for me.

I'm now SAHM to 3DC and I love it. We have toddler twins, so the well maintained house has essentially gone to shit, but it won't be like that forever. I draw up and print out meal plans so everyone knows what's for dinner for the next ten days. I have the time to sell all the DC old toys and clothes on eBay and make actually a decent amount.

I repair things instead of throwing away and buying replacements. I dress the dining room for Easter, or Mother's Day, and have family over all the time for meals I've enjoyed sourcing ingredients for, then making. I batch cook maybe 4 lasagnas, or shepherds pies on a Monday, so we've always got great food in the freezer.

I get real fulfilment from keeping the house as nice as I can. Making delicious meals. Having the time to spend actual quality time with DM and DNan, who are both not getting any younger. Whilst we are a one salary home, and I definitely don't bring monetary value equivalent to what I could earn, I do save us on nursery fees, I make over £500 a month on selling things the kids have grown out of on eBay, and clothes I don't want anymore. I'm a great cook, and being afforded the time to batch cook, means we eat fantastically, for about £1 per portion, all because I have the time to go right from scratch and spend a whole day cooking. We also no longer have a cleaner. I'm learning to properly prune and shape the hedges too.

My brain has definitely turned to mush. Constant kids TV, most of my adult interaction and conversation is from being in a shop of some sort, hardly taxing. I get frustrated when I can't think of the right word to describe something, when my vocabulary used to be enormous. But this is only my intellect that's taken a hit. I'm still kind, funny, interesting, and lots of good qualities. I'd take loss of intellect over full time work any day of the week. But that's just me, I can't fathom how people get any fulfilment from their job, just as they can't fathom how I get any fulfilment from being a housewife.

Personally can't think of anything worse, maybe a day every couple of months would be ok but each to their own. It's my sisters idea of heaven.

For me, I think part-time is the ideal. The 4 day week for full-time would improve work-life balance immensely.

For me, 1 or 2 days a week would probably be my ideal, for as long as healthy and able.

I don't think many men are happy with it nowadays. A lot of men don't respect a woman that doesn't work and expects to be kept. Ask a millennial or gen z man would he be happy to have a housewife most would say no

This is very true. It's sad so few men take pride in providing for their family. They also still expect their wives to do most of the housework. Pisstake

For me when I’m off and doing home jobs it feels lovely because I feel like I’m having it all if that makes sense, working, keeping the house lovely snd having quality time with the children. Then I remember I’m on leave snd it’s not actually like this!

Women are made to feel like we should be able to do it all. I know I have to prioritise my work and children so the house suffers. Maybe a housewife would have an amazing house but not the job? Nothing is perfect!

Hopefully they’ll also understand they need to chip in and do 50% of childcare, leaving work early when kids are ill, cover school holidays, school pick ups then 50% of housework. But yes I do hope things may be changing and it’s easier for women who want to work, to continue to do so because society and men may be changing.

This is true house stuff certainly isn't 50/50. I don't think it's deliberate sometimes they just don't think about it 🤣 doesn't occur to them.

I hope so. It's certainly true for my husband.

No, but I'd love to have a housewife!

I absolutely hate all the domestic crap/cleaning/organising.

I would love to not work. I wouldn't get bored.

Can't live on fresh air though, sadly.

If that stuff sounds appealing, you really haven’t found the right job.

Some men are probably happy for their wives to take care of things at home whilst they focus on their career. This is not unheard of really is it? Just because many don’t agree with it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work for many couples.
I think that's the case when there's young children, but don't think there's a lot of men who would be happy working full time so their wife can be a housewife, live a leisurely lifestyle and have dinner on the table.

I know of a few situations where there's been resentment or conflict where the SAHP has been reluctant to return to work once the children were teens / very quick to find reasons why they can't work more than minimal part time hours when adult children have left home.

I’m a SAHM and DCs are mid-teens. I also work for 7 hours a week from home which brings in approximately £800 a month.
I feel extremely fortunate to have my life and appreciate it every day.
DH is happy with the set-up.

I'm currently on mat leave and love it. Don't think I'll be going back to work 😂

Another reason why I could never be a housewife

The resentment would kill any relationship

Being solely responsible for all housework and childcare in exchange for not working?

No chance. I'd rather work

I wouldnt fund a househusband either for similar reasons in reverse

Exactly.

I totally get how you feel.

I took a few days of leave earlier this year to play housewife and it felt so good to be on top of things instead of rushing from one to another.

I sometimes feel slightly envious of the SAHMs I see at school drop off. A lot of them have only school aged children and I can't imagine how it must feel to have stretches of time to just stay on top of things with the home and children. Not to mention time to themselves!

But like you, I've worked hard to get where I am. I like the income and the autonomy and challenges. I'd be bored and unfulfilled fairly quickly.

Horses for courses but ultimately I remind myself it wouldn't be for me.

I've heard other SAHM with young children say they have 'complete freedom' over their time, and I don't understand it. Can you explain that some more?

When I was on mat leave with a newborn and a toddler (admittedly during lockdown so not a typical experience) I felt like I had no freedom. Everything was around their moods, their naps, the mess they made. I didn't have a minute to myself to read a book or text a friend. Even when I was out with them, I wasn't free- I couldn't even finish a thought in my own head without being interrupted by someone who needed something.

When I returned to work and realised that if I felt like a coffee or a wee, I could just... stand up from my desk and go do that without thinking of anyone else- that felt like freedom to me!

I wouldn't find my husband to be a househusband because I'd come home and find he kept the children alive and nothing else.

It wouldn't occur to him to deep clean or DIY or batch cook.

I expect a lot of husbands are similar.

I'd happily work to fund someone who kept every aspect of my and the children's lives running smoothly if it meant all I had to think about was work.

I know what you mean too. It's satisfying.

But it gets empty pretty fast.

I was a SAHM for 6 years and am now attempting to freelance. I feel so much happier and energized when I have work on.

I kind of like pottering round the house for a few days but after that I get stressed.

Also we have a crazy big house that takes the (once or twice a year) cleaners 15 man hours to do and that's not including tidying so however much I do, I barely scratch the surface.

I tried it for year, well I had a newborn then

I spent most about an hour a day doing housework, I have no idea what on earth these people who say they work harder than a full time job when at home full time are doing

It's nice to have the choice. I used to work part time, and I found a pretty good life balance that way. Unfortunately I am now disabled and unable to work. I miss having the choice and options.

It's no fun for any one who doesn't have the choice either way. Being forced to be a house wife, or being forced to work full time and try to get the house work done. The choice is the luxury.

Permanent housewife- nah. But working 3 days a week would be bliss! Pity I can't afford to live in that salary.

Well said.