To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

Even if they are arseholes society would fall apart without them.

Too true.

I have it on good authority that a lot of surgeons are arseholes in wider life. They're still damn good surgeons. When someone I love is in theatre, I must admit I don't really care if the surgeon is pleasant to have a pint with or not. The idea that they, or a midwife, or what have you, are not much use to society unless they're also pleasant people outside of work is pretty risible.

I'm a housewife, have been since my children were born. Now a grandma and I still like it. My DH and I always considered it a full time job : I have always done and still do all the laundry, cleaning,and mending myself. We never needed daycare. I did and do my own shopping and always cooked from scratch. Let me add that I never liked the job I was educated to do (teaching) and that when my children were small no jobs in that branche were even available.

Some days I'd love to have the no responsibility of working and just potter about the house, but I know I'd get bored quickly. I enjoy being financially independent and couldn't imagine my purpose being limited to cooking and cleaning.

FYI I'm divorced with no kids so I appreciate it wouldn't just be pottering about the house for those women with children and a DH (aka adult children).

@Sennelier1

If being a hw is a full time job then people who work have at least 2 full time jobs

@Botw1 That's what I was thinking.

It's like those who work don't also do laundry, cleaning, shopping and cooking.

@SouthLondonMum22

I said ot about 300 pages ago

Hw seem to think that their the only 1s doing housework or childcare

Like people who work live in cupboards outside of work hours

Just highlights the inequality of hw and makes a mockery of the idea of men with hw doing equal parenting and housework

I was a sahm for almost 5 years until my eldest went to primary school. It’s not for me, there’s only so much housework repetition I can deal with and in the end I was desperate for a job, a social life (that doesn’t revolve around the kids) and the financial independence, I have worked 18 hrs a week ever since and could never go back to being a housewife.

A few years ago I took in a friend and her son when she left her husband. She lived at mine for a few months until she could organise a new home. I charged no board but asked that she help me out by keeping it nice.

During that time I really had a housewife. It was amazing. Coming home from work to a clean, tidy and organised home! Dinner on the table! Fabulous!

I can see why chauvinists are angry that they lost their servants.

Can you do less days at work? Best of both worlds…

I'm a single parent so do all the housework stuff / running the home / DIY etc etc on top of working full time so I would love to be a SAHM and have a bit less on my plate. I haven't found all the home jobs magically dissappear when I'm working - there is just a load of new ones given to me by my employer ie my children and I still need feeding, life admin is just as big when I'm working or not etc etc. Yes I have a cleaner but that is just a few hours a week

This is what I have.
It's lovely getting home from a long shift and everything is clean and dinner ready.

It's quite common in H/Care due to the shifts and the nationalities/ culture.
It's worked so well for us, my DC have been cared for by both of us, we share the domestic chores and earning.
One thing was the comments though.
It taught me that women prop up the patriarchy and perpetuate it.
Nasty stuff, that he couldn't possibly look after the DC properly, sneering etc.
So men who parent are attacked by the patriarchy as well.
That's the thing I saw on this thread, they always turn to snarky, PA insults rather than debate.

I'm so happy that I'm with a man who doesn't think my place is to clear up after him.
No matter how you frame it, he thinks you are there to clean up his crap ultimately and there's not a cat in hells chance.
No matter how many £££ he has there is absolutely no way I would take on the role of serving a man and the patriarchy in this way.

I know men for whom it's a source of pride. "Look at me, I'm so successful that my wife doesn't have to work!".

Others who love their wives and just want them to do what makes them happy.

Others who personally hate the idea of being a house husband / love their job and wouldn't stay at home even if offered the chance. So if they don't need the wife's income and she doesn't work it's not going to piss him off because he doesn't want that life for himself anyway.

Speaking for myself, it was certainly good for me (the youngest). Just watching my mother demonstrate how to do something taught me many valuable lessons. For one example, in my first year of secondary school she helped me finish an English essay that was due the next day and I got the highest grade in the class, not only for that essay but for every subsequent one the remainder of the time I was in secondary school.

Facilitating means helping someone, by the way... not doing everything for them. She took an interest and helped when she thought it would improve the experience/outcome.

@JackiePlace

'an interest and helped when she thought it would improve the experience/outcome.'

Don't most parents do that? That's just normal parenting, as is helping with homework

I dont see what its got to do with being a hw

You don't need to be a housewife to help with homework though.

@Botw1 and @SouthLondonMum22 you both are absolutely right, people with a job ánd a family have indeed two full time jobs. I do admire that. In my "defence" let me tell you I always was there (and still am) for friends and neighbours in need. During vacations and holidays it sometimes seemed as if I was running a school/daycare myself, sometimes up to 10 children and sometimes several days in a row. And yes, they were all fed and cleaned up when their parents got back from their jobs. Very fond memories, no complaining. Some of those children still visit! And right now I'm often taking care of friends' (2)GC because our dear friend is very ill. Just wanting to say : we maybe didn't make the same choices, but we all try our best ❤️

@SouthLondonMum22 @Botw1

I'm sure they do try but because she wasn't working outside the home my Mother had the time and energy to get more interested and involved in our activities.

@Sennelier1

Lots of people are there for friends and neighbours? I have a lovely troup of friends. We all work. We all look after each others kids/have them round a lot.

Again, isn't that just life/normal parenting?

@JackiePlace

You're sure they try?

Maybe your mum was just less capable?

I've never struggled to have the energy or interest to be involved with my kids.

And I work shifts.

They do more than try, working parents are just as interested in their children.

Though by high school age, I would expect them to start being more independent with homework anyway.

For one example, in my first year of secondary school she helped me finish an English essay that was due the next day and I got the highest grade in the class, not only for that essay but for every subsequent one the remainder of the time I was in secondary school.

I'm concerned that you think this sort of thing isn't standard parenting, working or not.

I work outside the home and I've always had the time and energy to be involved in DS's activities. Although now he's 15 that's the last thing he wants.

To add: someone who's so good at English and composition that they can teach their child to write the best essays in the class could probably do very well as a journalist, writer, teacher or something like that.

I didn't do well at school, so even if I was at home all the time I wouldn't be helping DS write the best essays. He's far cleverer than I was at his age.

Fair enough, but I was responding to a poster whose mother apparently was that good at English. And the poster seemed to think that such a person couldn't help their kids with their essays if she also used those skills outside of the home professionally.

In fact, my father, who worked full time, was always the one to help me with my homework. My mother, who stayed home, wasn't very academic.