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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being a housewife might be nice ?

1000 replies

Felixss · 13/04/2023 14:55

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

OP posts:
Itsnotpacific · 15/04/2023 19:42

mbosnz · 15/04/2023 19:36

Sometimes it all seems a bit 'Animal Farm' , us pleb's arguing about who is more useful and worthy.

That really wasn't the point, it was about wider society and the implications of women leaving the workplace because of sexism etc.
As usual it gets dragged down into nonsense.

echoo · 15/04/2023 19:42

I have worked in the health service and I didn't feel like I was contributing any more than anyone else.

bozzabollix · 15/04/2023 19:43

I’ve been a SAHP for a few years now. My husband works silly hours and that job is super inflexible, so everything with the kids and house inevitably falls to me. I get a decent amount of money in my account each month so don’t have to think about money and we live in a nice house.

It works when the kids are small as there’s so much to do, but I don’t like feeling dependent and feel frustrated I’m not doing my own thing, so currently retraining in an industry where I can be pretty flexible in hours. I can then up my hours once my daughter goes to secondary.

Think it’s the feeling of also being main facilitator and the lack of intellectual stimulation that goes with that. My life would be the absolute pinnacle of perfection for some, but I still have an urge to have my achievements. But absolutely love the flexibility.

Like all things, there’s good and there’s bad. You’ve got to be reasonably confident in the state of your marriage too!

Itsnotpacific · 15/04/2023 19:44

echoo · 15/04/2023 19:42

I have worked in the health service and I didn't feel like I was contributing any more than anyone else.

Are you Steve Barclay ?Grin

echoo · 15/04/2023 19:44

Exactly. There are pros and cons to everything.

echoo · 15/04/2023 19:46

"Are you Steve Barclay ?"

He would be a case in point, for sure.

5128gap · 15/04/2023 19:47

Betse84 · 15/04/2023 19:34

Is it not disrespectful to other women that have chosen to not work to say they’re useless and not as good as someone that does?

If anyone on this thread has said women who don't work are useless, I've missed it. I don't think it and would not say it. Also 'as good as' is subjective and complex. I've known women who don't work who are excellent human beings, kind, generous, supportive. I've known horrible women with jobs.
However, all other things being equal, take two decent women, one who chooses to contribute to society, one who chooses to contribute only to the wellbeing of herself, her husband and children - which one do I think makes the more valuable contribution, and is the more useful? Well, the working woman, no question.

SecretiveSquirrel · 15/04/2023 19:48

echoo · 15/04/2023 19:42

I have worked in the health service and I didn't feel like I was contributing any more than anyone else.

Did you thus leave because you were struggling with the job? Were you asked to leave?

echoo · 15/04/2023 19:52

I left for various reasons. I had been physically attacked. I had lost loads of weight with stress. I was burnt out. The job wasn't what it should be. We were going abroad. And I was pregnant.

Itsnotpacific · 15/04/2023 19:52

echoo · 15/04/2023 19:46

"Are you Steve Barclay ?"

He would be a case in point, for sure.

I think you've missed my point.
You sound exactly like him.

SB- doesn't value Junior Dr's/Nurses
Strikes-the same staff strike -huge impact.

echoo · 15/04/2023 20:03

Yes that's exactly what I said, isn't it.

Chestnutlover · 15/04/2023 20:05

I wfh for myself and end up doing all the housework plus looking after baby. It’s exhausting, I’m massively envious of people who go out to work and miss it so much. Day in and out it gets very lonely and monotonous

autienotnaughti · 15/04/2023 20:11

Everything falls to you, all housework, kid responsibility, mental load. If your kids are young you only have 9-3. It actually goes very quick. Plus everyone thinks they can ask you to do jobs for them as you are not working. I work 10 hours a week and I am constantly busy, never on top of the house.

Itsnotpacific · 15/04/2023 20:12

echoo · 15/04/2023 20:03

Yes that's exactly what I said, isn't it.

Pretty much.

Oh

echoo · 15/04/2023 20:19

What I said was that people are much more than a job role. There are many ways to contribute to society. And being a decent person is more important than a title.

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/04/2023 20:23

Chestnutlover · 15/04/2023 20:05

I wfh for myself and end up doing all the housework plus looking after baby. It’s exhausting, I’m massively envious of people who go out to work and miss it so much. Day in and out it gets very lonely and monotonous

Are you single? Does baby go to nursery?

That does sound exhausting.

MaroonCow · 15/04/2023 20:25

Itsnotpacific · 15/04/2023 19:33

Was that aimed at me?

Show quote history

It's just an "if my auntie had balls she'd be my uncle" line of non-argument.

You think surgeons and farmers are important to society? Well, what if they also kick puppies and run red lights and squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube? Not so important now, are they? Hahahaha!!!!

Itsnotpacific · 15/04/2023 20:35

echoo · 15/04/2023 20:19

What I said was that people are much more than a job role. There are many ways to contribute to society. And being a decent person is more important than a title.

No one ever said otherwise.
It's a " look over there" tactic.

Itsnotpacific · 15/04/2023 20:36

MaroonCow · 15/04/2023 20:25

It's just an "if my auntie had balls she'd be my uncle" line of non-argument.

You think surgeons and farmers are important to society? Well, what if they also kick puppies and run red lights and squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube? Not so important now, are they? Hahahaha!!!!

Show quote history

Exactly!!
That has made me 😂
One of my Irish Dad's favourites when people talked shite!

Itsnotpacific · 15/04/2023 20:39

On that note I'm tootling off.
Shame the thread has been reduced to silly comments

Original poster
Felixss · 15/04/2023 20:40

MaroonCow · 15/04/2023 20:25

It's just an "if my auntie had balls she'd be my uncle" line of non-argument.

You think surgeons and farmers are important to society? Well, what if they also kick puppies and run red lights and squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube? Not so important now, are they? Hahahaha!!!!

Show quote history

Even if they are arseholes society would fall apart without them. Society would be fine if there were less housewives with school age DC.

I would feel a bit guilty if I gave up my job as yes it's a job with a huge shortage. I have skills and knowledge to benefit society widely not just my family. I could give it up but I would feel guilty and I like the nice cars. Putting all the pressure on my DH feels wrong if he lost his job I could afford everything on my salary so there is that safeguard in place.

OP posts:
Kennykenkencat · 15/04/2023 20:51

Just disputing the idea that someone who doesn’t work can only talk about cleaning

I didn’t work and I hate cleaning

When I did work I could have had brilliantly witty conversations about putting things into alphabetical order.

Only conversation I ever had about cleaning was telling a group of women that I used to spray rooms with Pledge because Dh would come home and think I had been cleaning all day 🤣

Comedycook · 15/04/2023 21:10

When I worked I rarely spoke about it ...i have plenty of things to talk about that aren't cleaning related!

Snowtrails · 15/04/2023 21:12

Hbh17 · 13/04/2023 16:07

Not only would you be bored, but your conversation would revolve around what cleaning you'd been doing..... so you do the maths!

Why? You know people who do cleaning for a living aren't boring people who are also capable of "using their brains".

Snippit · 15/04/2023 21:51

You would get really bored. I had 4 years at home when my daughter was born, I couldn’t wait to get back to work. I didn’t enjoy the mother and toddler groups and talking about how much bloody washing they’d dried that day, Jesus!

Unfortunately I am now a stay at home wife due to M.S. I’d love to go to work, but it’s impossible. Enjoy your life, and make the most of each day, and your family ☺️

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