To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

@Itsnotpacific

My DM wasn't allowed a career,my father took it that a working wife shamed him.

My grandmother had a First from Cambridge (gained during the 30s when only a tiny handful of women went to Cambridge, let alone graduated with a First), and was offered the opportunity to work for the security services because she was so good at languages. My grandfather forced her to give up work because he thought it made him look bad to have a working wife. She never worked again after having children and wasted a first class brain. Surprisingly enough she had contempt for him for the rest of her life.

The thing is that was in the 30s to the 50s. Attitudes were different then. Its depressing that some men still seem to have this perception.

Well exactly. All this unless you work you have boring talk - what utter bollocks. If someone talked to me about their job for hours I would be bored stupid. People ask me about work, I talk for a few minutes then change the subject as I know they’re just being polite.

You could for instance talk about books, politics, plays, health, family, friendships, travel…

In my friendship group we are all a mixture of not working, part time and full time. Very rarely do we talk about work..Those that are currently not working do not talk about cleaning. One has just given up a high powered job and is taking a break - they are volunteering at a charity and doing pottery course. And seeing bands and poetry. Lots to talk about!

Very judgemental and shortsighted nonsense on here.

Like @echoo has said it’s so much more nuanced than many on here are claiming.

The sweeping generalisations are appalling.

@Delatron

Yeah cause generalising that people who work can only bore others to death about work and are incapable of discussing books, politics, plays, health, family, friendships, travel is fine....

I'd agree it was more naunced if just as many men were making the same decision but they aren't.

@Delatron

If someone talked to me about their job for hours I would be bored stupid. People ask me about work, I talk for a few minutes then change the subject as I know they’re just being polite.

But this is just as bad as saying its boring to be a housewife.

Why is work intrinsically boring? Again, it's these sweeping assumptions about what "work" means on the part of people who have contempt for working mums. A bit like @Comedycook and her hilariously two-dimensional assumptions about working mums slaving for shareholder profit, you seem to be assuming that everyone works in an office in insurance or something.

Can you and others like you not imagine that work can be boring or interesting, depending on what it is? Just as being a housewife can. Work could involve being a parliamentary candidate, a trapeze artist, an award-winning journalist a paramedic, a film director, the boss of a huge charity? Even "boring" jobs have interesting moments. Everyone's life has some interesting moments in it.

You can't on the one hand insist that the life of a housewife is rich with variety and deserves appreciation and then on the other say you switch off within seconds when someone starts talking about their job.

I didn’t say that.

The claim on here is that unless you work you can only talk about cleaning. I said talking about jobs is quite boring therefore there should be no difference in the chat between women than work full time, part time, or are at home.

Please don’t put words in my mouth.

I work!!

I am disputing the fact that women who don’t work have nothing interesting to say.

I did not say people who work are boring. Or I’d be calling myself boring?

Working or not working does not define whether you have something interesting to say or not…that’s the point.

@Delatron

Youre generalising just the same though

It's hypocritical

And I didn’t say work was boring. I said if someone spoke to me about their job for hours that would be boring.

I know people have very interesting jobs. My job is interesting. But I have more to say and more that defines me other than my job.

How so?

I am merely saying that women can have interesting chat whether they work full time, part time or not at all?

Just disputing the idea that someone who doesn’t work can only talk about cleaning.

@Delatron

Then you don't need to say people who work are also boring chatting about work to do so.

@SouthLondonMum22

Exactly.

Its not nuanced.

It's just more sexism and reinforcing of the old gender stereotypes

Who has actually said that someone who doesn't work can only talk about cleaning?

I love how I said ‘If someone talks to me about their job for hours I’d be bored’ and you leap to ‘ you switch off within seconds when someone starts talking about their job’.

Hours versus seconds?

This thread is brilliant for twisting what people are saying.

My friends don’t talk about cleaning or their jobs, we talk about pretty much everything else though.

Yep exactly.

Not only would I be bored but your conversation would revolve around what cleaning you’d be doing

by @Hbh17

@Delatron

So why the contempt for people talking about their jobs, then?

It's a complete double standard.

I know what you and others are getting at, which is that its insulting for women who do work to insist that women who don't work are dull. Most people, even those among us who are very committed feminists, acknowledge that not having a job doesn't make you dull.

But it works both ways. I've lost count of the posts I've read on here where people regurgitate the idea that "people who talk about their jobs are dull" and "I don't need a job to be interesting" etc. As if the solution to people being condescending about women not working is to insist that women who do work are dull corporate automatons who lack the imagination to do anything else.

It fails to acknowledge the fact that many women enjoy their jobs for very good reasons. For many of us work has been an important lifeline, a source of financial independence, a source of pride, an opportunity to do good in the community, a social life, many other good things. And to acknowledge the historical context, which is that until really quite recently a lot of women were not allowed to work. In Ireland it was actually illegal for married women to work until fairly recently (I believe until the mid 70s but I might be wrong). This stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum.

Endlessly people come on these threads to say women who work do so because they "lack the imagination do to anything else". We get it: you and others feel that housewives and SAHMs have a bad rap and you want to show how much more to life there is than washing men's underpants.

That's fine and most of us have grasped that. But it's really insulting as a working woman to be told you have no imagination and that you're a social bore because you want to support yourself. There's so much more to that than you are acknowledging.

Good lord!

My point was in response to someone saying ‘ if you’re at home all day all you talk about is cleaning’. Then someone else quite rightly said ‘because other people’s jobs are so interesting’.

I don’t doubt that many people’s jobs are interesting! My job is interesting. But it is not what I talk to my friends about for hours.
I am not a housewife. I work. I just hate women judging and belittling other women’s choices when you have no idea of individual circumstances.

Work, don’t work, work part time. I really don’t care. At no point have a said that women who work have no imagination (as that would include myself!!). I just don’t talk about my job for hours. FFS.

@Delatron

Work, don’t work, work part time. I really don’t care. At no point have a said that women who work have no imagination (as that would include myself!!). I just don’t talk about my job for hours. FFS.

But there are literally hundreds of posts (many of them on this thread) saying people who talk about work are “boring”. Including yours.

I don’t talk about my job for hours either. But II do sometimes talk about it. Why should that be intrinsically more boring than somebody talking about their children, their relationship or their hobbies? It’s not. But for some reason some people consider it bad form for working mums to discuss the fact they enjoy their work.

It’s often a trigger for a bunch of posts pouring scorn on the idea that someone should get pleasure or fulfilment from their job.

Like I say, it’s a double standard.

You seem to be projecting quite a lot.

Sometimes I talk about my job too. I get a lot of pleasure from my job. I talk sometimes about how much I like my job. Then I move on to other subjects.

My issue is the argument that someone who doesn’t work doesn’t have anything interesting to talk about and can only talk about cleaning. The point being (for the millionth time) when a group of women meet up they do not spend the whole night talking about their jobs.

And I still maintain talking about your job for hours is boring. But then talking about one subject for hours will be boring - be that children, relationships - the conversation hops around. The working status of the woman does not define how interesting her conversation is.

The ex pat example is the only one of housewifery in this and your previous post.
A woman caring for her ill or disabled child is not a housewife. She's a carer.
A woman made redundant finding it difficult to get alternative work is not a housewife. She's a jobseeker.
A woman unable to work due to a health condition or disability is not a housewife. She's...Well, you get the idea.
Its actually a really important distinction. Few roles are tougher than that of carer for example, and the lifestyle typically bares no comparison with some of the SAH lifestyles we've discussed on here. Linking the two in order to illistrate 'good reasons' for being a housewife is inappropriate.

The OP didn't ask if we fancied trying to get work while living in a rural area, or being ill, or being a carer. She's specifically asking if we'd like to be a woman whose role is to do housework in exchange for being kept by her husband. Obviously we can't say never when it comes to our health, future care responsibilities or redundancy, but that's not the question asked.

Delatron - honestly, I wouldn't bother. Everything will get twisted.

Just trot out some anecdote about a great grandmother of yore or your cousin's friend's neighbour who did / didn't work and who ended up bored / absolutely delighted / insane / dead / all of the above (delete as you feel).

I know @echoo . I give up. So much twisting words and projecting on this thread.

And women going at other women. Just sad all round.

I don’t know why we can’t just respect each other’s choice. Nobody has any idea of anyone else’s personal circumstances.

There is far too much
"Someone once said" as justification for trotting out tropes about WOHP -in retaliation.

Be responsible for your own words.

If someone enjoys WOH take them at their word, no need to bang on about offices, looong hours,boredom and poor children.
You literally have zero idea about their lives and mostly they will benefit SAHMs in some way via their work.

The thing is as WOHP we know what it's like raising children, cooking, cleaning and housekeeping because we do that too.

Personally I don't want to do that FT, I like the balance plus I think it benefits my DC to have a hands on father and see him picking up domestic tasks.