To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

@echoo

Why would I be an expat?

I wouldnt move abroad, my career is here.

And again, being unable to work through ill health is not choosing to be a hw. Nor is it the same.

You're insistence that I would somehow end up a hw is a bit odd.

I'm not insisting that deep down hw really wish they could work.

I am a sahm and I love it! I get to drop my kids off and pick them up every day.
we never worry about childcare issues, I love taking them on days out in the holidays.
I do miss working but not as much as I would miss being part of my children’s childhood.
I don’t think anybody ever grew old and regretted spending too much time with their kids.

I have no idea what your 'deep down wishes' are. Why di you keep saying this. I'm talking about practicalities and circumstances people may find themselves in.

If you were married to a man who got a contract to go and work in the Middle East for three years and the contract was worth multi-millions, presumably you would tell him you were not going out of principle. Your choice. So that would mean passing on the opportunity or he goes in his own for three years. Others may make different choices because they see the difference the financial security would make long-term for them and for their children's futures.

You clearly don't understand. Just because more women work in childcare settings, it doesn't mean that they are more suited.

It's just one of the many examples of what a sexist society we live in. Men aren't encouraged into caring roles, women are.

@echoo

As I've already said, I would have started a relationship with someone with that kind of career.

If it came up years down the line, then yes, he would have to go on his own because I wouldnt give up my own, successful career to go with him.

Why would I?

If we had kids and he still chose to go it would likely end the relationship anyway.

@Ilovechocolatetoomuch

Is your oh not part of his kids childhood?

I feel the same as you @Botw1

I wouldn't be with someone who worked away long term
I wouldn't move abroad and leave my career behind
I would never, ever be a housewife

@SouthLondonMum22 This is a genuine question,would you happily leave a baby or toddler in a childcare setting that was nearly all males ? .

@SouthLondonMum22

The insistence that women must consider all the possibilities where they might suddenly want to be a sahm /hw is fucking bizarre

Should men always consider all the scenarios where they might have to be a house husband? (Commonly known as cocklodger)

Of course I would.

My son's keyworker is male and he's great with him.

"As I've already said, I would have started a relationship with someone with that kind of career."

So you would only be in a relationship with U.K.- based men with certain careers? That's a bit limiting isn't it?

@echoo

No. Lol.

Do you not have any 'deal breakers'?

I wouldnt be in a relationship with a man with ids or a football fan either.

Or a tory.

It's good to have standards

🤣

Would you be with someone who expected you to work?

It's no different.

‘I don’t think anybody ever grew old and regretted spending too much time with their kids’

Probably not. But I am in my fifties and my friends like me, have kids leaving home. And I know more than a few mums who are now regretting giving up work. And even the ones that did so willingly, have some resentment towards their partners whose careers continued uninterrupted.

@echoo

Would you be in a relationship with a man who wanted to be a househusband and who wanted you to work?

What if Botw1 got the opportunity of a lifetime overseas; or a role that meant she had to put a lot more hours in for a given time but the financial rewards were potentially life-changing for the family. Should her husband just think "Oh we'll probably just separate then?"

The whole, no one wished they had worked more on their death bed thing is such snide bullshit anyway

No one would regret spending too much time with their kids is even more snide.

I spend plenty time with my kids and I'm pretty sure I would actually regret doing nothing else.

@echoo

Would you leave your young kids for years for financial reward?

Botw1 - that would depend on if he actually wanted to be a house husband or not and also how much I enjoyed my work and how much it paid.

In other words, a cost-benefit analysis of the pros and cons for the whole family.

But yes, in general, yes, I would be far happier being able to leave my kids with their own dad than a paid person.

"Would you leave your young kids for years for financial reward?"

If I had a chance to set my kids up financially for life, we would make it work practically, yes.

and it is almost always aimed at women. Of course.

@echoo

I've just said he does. 100%. Absolutely does not want to work.

Won't ever want to. Expects you to finance him for ever.

@echoo

I wouldnt be willing to leave my kids. Neither would dh.

Guess we are all different eh.

Funny how I'm less motivated by money than you though.

@Botw1

But think about all those handbags you could buy. 😂

??? I didn't say about leaving kids. That's why I would go with my husband and, if the circumstances were reversed, he would come with me and do the same.