To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

Even doing shitty jobs for money have benefits outside of the money required

Including all the things you mentioned

My post was about people finding the strength and resilience to do a job they don't like because they have to.
What that does to build resilience and character.
Just that.
I tend to dislike whingy people who won't just grow up and get on with it .

Lots of things have value-I wasn't referring to that.

It's staggering that you are congratulating yourself on such a spectacular lack of understanding what's literally written in front of you, that you have declared it must be "nonsense". Someone literally spelt out an answer for you, yet to you, it "doesn't make sense" and bizarrely "you just repeated what I said."

Have you ever come across the phrase "playing chess with pigeons?"

If not, Google it. I think you'll get that at least. Well. Actually...

Night :)

@DHsPoorBack

You keep resorting to insults when you cant come up with a counter point.

Step up from just ignoring points you can't answer I suppose.

Amd given you keep misreading what I've said and saying I've said stuff I hadn't I dont think you're covering yourself in glory really

Agree.
It's a bit pointless really , just flings PA remarks rather than debate.

The fact the counterpoints pass you by, doesn't mean they don't exist.

Your inability to comprehend an answer, doesn't mean someone hasn't answered.

There's not much anyone can do about that, as they will continue to explain. You won't get it, and it's frankly tedious watching your "Well, I guess no one can answer that eh" (ten answers posted) "Still no one then? See point proven". Tedious.

(Leaves thread. Wipes down chess board)

Tempting to spend day after day cleaning? No thanks.

@DHsPoorBack

Disagreeing is not an inability to understand

Saying you've said something you haven't or saying something that doesn't make sense and then claiming the other person is thick so you can make yourself feel better is a funny way to play chess

My mother was a full time housewife. She once said that she saw it as her "job" to be the facilitator for what all the other family members wanted or needed to do, including helping my father in his professional life. She was certainly much more than a cook/housekeeper/nanny.

I wouldn't want to be a housewife with young children at home, its ok if they are at school, even better when they are older and you don't have to do the school run or be there when they get home from school.

Was it good for older kids/adults to have someone facilitating everything for them rather than looking after themselves?

I was a SAHM for 4 years and then started working 15 hours per week when the youngest was a baby. It was a busy time with 4DC but I mostly enjoyed it all and the quality time I had with them. It was a joint decision, my husband worked full time and completely supported this decision.

Fast forward 6 years and I am now a single parent with 4DC and an ExH who likes to now complain about the fact I didn’t work for those 4 years. Pension is poor with the time off work / part-time work.

I’m now working 30 hours and although I really enjoy it, I do find it a bit stressful not always being able to keep on top of the house stuff! It seems a decent balance though.

I will encourage my daughters to always have a foot in the door work wise and always maintain a bit of financial independence as you never know what might happen.

Very good posts which have made me think. I've already said neither my my mother or mother in law didn't work - mother from when she got married, mother in law (who was roughly ten years younger), from when she had my husband. I have also said I worked part time for many years.

If I had been well cared for, I would have been more than happy for my mum to have a job, somewhere she could be other than just my mum, had different friends and her own identity.

Children accept the status quo and know who their parents there. We had great days when I was not working and the 'tie still stands.

Did she find it fulfilling? Was it a positive experience for you, especially once you were a teenager / young adult or was it stifling?

Yeah, that is exactly what many of us feel has held back progress in society.

It embeds the idea that a woman’s primary role in the family is to “facilitate” other people. For all sorts of reasons that’s a pretty terrible example to set:

a) It infantilises the children and delays them taking responsibility for themselves
b) it disincentives the man from doing anything to support his wife in the home by making him feel it’s her job to do it all
c) it’s an awful example to set for female children

So I’m not buying the positive spin you are trying to put on this.

Yes because everything in life is so binary like that. God all this lecturing is mind-numbing.

@echoo

Yes because everything in life is so binary like that. God all this lecturing is mind-numbing.

Not sure if that was aimed at me?

I think that’s unfair. The entire point of this thread was for the OP to garner opinions on how people saw the concept of a housewife and whether the role sounds appealing.

People have set out their perspectives for and against, quite forcefully in some cases. It’s a free society and people are entitled to express strongly held views when literally invited to do so without being told they are “lecturing”.

I'm finding the discussion very interesting. Given that it's all about what people find boring and mind numbing and how they avoid it, I'm surprised you're still here if that's how you feel about it.

I totally admire the women who own their housewife lifestyle and freely admit it’s great - lots of time to themselves, do their hobbies, husbands are fine with them lunching every day - great! Would like that myself!

Trying to pretend (and I don’t include anyone with little kids in this, they’re hard work) that it’s a 9-5 job and you are integral to the successful running of a home is just funny. Just admit you’re watching box sets all day, it’s fine!! Whoever said they spent the day “sourcing ingredients” made me snort - imagining her foraging in the woods and shooting game 😂

I totally admire the women who own their housewife lifestyle and freely admit it’s great - lots of time to themselves, do their hobbies, husbands are fine with them lunching every day - great! Would like that myself!
I have always owned it, I get all my jobs done in about an hour in the morning and another hour in the evenings and then do ‘weekend’ type things all week long.
This week I’ve had a few lunches out, been to the cinema twice, had a spa day, went on a costal walk, met a friend and went shopping with her, visited my DM in her nursing home.
I like to keep drudge stuff to a minimum.

Yes sweeping statements are mind-numbing.

Imagine coming on and saying something stupid like "the children of single parent families are -

a) this
b) that
c) the other

How can people actually come in with a straight face and say that children of SAHMs are 'infantilised', 'set a poor model?' Which children of SAHMs are these exactly - have you met them all? You could come and meet my kids - all totally different. How would that fit in to your projected SAHM theory? And what would you know about anyone else's husbands ffs?

Having one or two children of your own does not qualify anyone to pontificate about outcomes for anyone else's children. It's dreadful.

You sound more like a lady of leisure than a housewife. Have to admit, I'm a tad jealous!
Though I am lucky enough to work part time these days, most of my friends work FT some I'm sometimes a bit bored on my days off so am considering upping my days.

@echoo

Don’t misrepresent what I said. I deliberately didn’t say the children of SAHMs are infantilised. And if you read my comments on this thread you will see I have gone out of my way to say I don’t think this applies to SAHMS who I would class as different to housewives.

But a PP said her mother saw it as her role to “facilitate” other members of the family (apparently as some attempt to put a positive spin on being a housewife).

I said I think a mindset that takes as it’s starting point the idea that one person in a family exists to facilitate the others it’s a very problematic precedent.

Oh, and if you’re bringing single parents into this worth making a point of distinction that the vast majority of single parents have no choice in their status. Which is not the case with housewives.

@Thepeopleversuswork

"Yeah, that is exactly what many of us feel has held back progress in society.

It embeds the idea that a woman’s primary role in the family is to “facilitate” other people. For all sorts of reasons that’s a pretty terrible example to set:

a) It infantilises the children and delays them taking responsibility for themselves
b) it disincentives the man from doing anything to support his wife in the home by making him feel it’s her job to do it all
c) it’s an awful example to set for female children

So I’m not buying the positive spin you are trying to put on this."

Agree with this. And what happens when the DH has retired and the DC are grown up?

That sounds lovely!