To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

Once you have kids, running a household is a lot of work...I could fit it around a full time job but it would be horrendous for me. I cannot cope with busyness and any kind of stress makes me crumble. I don't want to rush round

@Comedycook

Again, thats a you problem.

I dont find horrendous and neither does my oh.

If the world has moved on

Why do more women work part time?
Why are so very few men SAHP's?
Why is there a gender pay gap?

It isn't all just a coincidence.

I cannot cope with busyness and any kind of stress makes me crumble.

And that's fine!

It's not a socio-politically motivated act that places you above greed and materialism and capitalism.

You can't cope with stress or being busy, you don't need to, so you don't.

Just stick with that!

I did say this to start with. If you read the thread.

I did have the choice not to work back then. But prioritised saving. We took a lot of holidays. Spent a lot more on stuff.

DH salary doesn't so much give me the choice. Our joint decisions give each other the choice. By staying home, we save on childcare, we save on lots of food costs because I have a lot of time to shop around and pick things up second hand. We save on having a cleaner. And it's not just the money side, that's not the driving force for us. We both get to switch off at 5, together. There's no stresses or mental load for either. No one is thinking how we're going to cover the electric bill. No one is thinking, did we send a card off to DB for his birthday. I can relax in faith that he's covered what he needs to, and vice versa. I don't see his work as "big and important" and he doesn't see mine as trivial.

Like I said, at the start of the thread, it depends on where you get your life satisfaction and fulfilment. Mine is from what I do now. And for some, it would not be.

nor the Crayola to make it any simpler

That's the sort of nasty comment my bitter SAHMIL would make once she knew she was out of her depth.

and not working would be horrendous for me.

Well no because I find it strange that other people find monetary reward worth the stress. I don't know. I always assumed everyone hates being busy and stressed but maybe they don't?

Is there nothing you enjoy beyond working?

@Comedycook

Not everyone is stressed

And, dare I say, you only think its not worth the effort because someone else is making the effort for you.

Even if I could afford not to work, I still would.

Working is absolutely not just about the money for me

Ah yes. Of course if I can't make someone understand despite 10 attempts of explanation, it's because I'm out of my depth, that's what it is...

I always assumed everyone hates being busy

Well, you're wrong. Some people love being busy. And some people choose to work mad hours because they get a thrill from the productivity and the megabucks. That's not you, fine, but I can't quite believe you've lived this long without noticing that people unlike you exist.

You've met enough of them on this thread. Can you believe now that some of them truly aren't like you and aren't merely bitter and jealous?

Yes and working doesn't stop me from enjoying those things.

Does your husband only enjoy working?

It's good enough for your husband. He gets pride in providing, right?

Besides, why so reductive? Can't someone who enjoys work enjoy anything else too?

Do you truly believe what you're saying or are you just taking potshots now?

There is no need for that type of comment if you are debating, even if you disagree it's unpleasant and PA.

I find it strange that other people find monetary reward worth the stress

I know you'll deny this, but this honestly sounds like someone who has never been truly self-sufficient. The only people who don't understand the importance of money are those who have never had to go without it or be solely responsible for it.

@DHsPoorBack

You cant make me understand because what you're saying doesn't make sense.

ignoring points you can't answer doesn't help

You've still not explained what I'm supposed to be bitter about.

I'm afraid I really dislike people who won't get on and graft for a living.
It's a character flaw IMHO.

There is something character building about pushing through and doing shitty jobs to get where they eventually want to be.
Resilience.

I have.

So has someone else.

If you can't understand it, there's little point in repetition.

Do you think only paid work is grafting?

@DHsPoorBack

Where?

I must have missed it.

I was referring to doing shitty jobs when you need the money .
Pushing through.

Do you really think that cooking and cleaning is the same as having a career? Especially since plenty do both.

Hence -for a living

" we have our own accounts in our own names and it is our money and our money alone."

Personally, I would point blank refuse to live like that, regardless of who was working, who earned what. No way.