To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

Sorry which part of me saying, I was a full time working mother, is leading you to the conclusion that I think working parents don't know what a day with a child is like?

You're just being obtuse now. Of course someone with a job can bake. Where did I say they can't? They have to do it after a full days work and likely have less time. Bake sale tomorrow? No worries, I've got all day. 10yrs ago when working full time, "mum, I forgot, bake sale tomorrow" it would be "FFS, why did you only tell me now! I'll be home at 5, what ingredients have I got, I need the PE kits washing tonight as well, right so once dinner's finished, I'll run out to Tesco, should be back by 8. Hopefully all done by 9.30" Yes. In both cases I baked. You can pretend not to see the difference.

Because in the name of "having a vagina or not" you make your DH do things? Er, bravo? I'm pleased for you.

In our house, we do the things we enjoy and are good at. It wouldn't even register whether the person doing it had a scrotum...

Makes life less stressful all round.

@DHsPoorBack

Because you responded to my comment about sahms seemingly being unaware if wms also parenting and not living in cupboards at work by telling me all the things you do as a parent

Proving the point.

I dont need a sahm to tell me they have time to play with their kids or to make cakes.

Wps play with their kids too. And organise school work etc. Some of them have less time but it still gets done.

I dont 'make' my dh do anything. He does his share. Gladly.

And yeah, you don't register that the person who doesn't sew has a scrotum. Course not. Its just a complete coincidence your likes fall entirely with gender stereotypes

I found the best was working 2-3 days a week as it gave variety and plenty of time to get stuff done, go out etc. I didn't like being home all the while or working full time

Lol you can't even see the irony.

According to you, he's shafted, because "he works, does equal childcare, plus a host of other jobs"

And I stop 'work' at 5pm.

While I work, do more than equal childcare, plus a host of other jobs. And he stops work at 5pm.

So, identical situations, but you can't get past your bitterness towards housewives to such extent that you see those identical situations as him being shafted, but me strangely not. There's the massive chip.

So, it appears we're actually shafting each other eh? It's almost like it's a good thing and works for both of us.

And it's work I do. Not 'work'. We place a good value on it. Shame some women can't.

Ah, the familiar note from @Comedycook, always trying to find justification for being a housewife despite her independent children long having shoved her out of the SAHM category. You do get, don’t you, @Comedycook, that the fact that some WOHMs do a disproportionate amount of housework isn’t any reason for your preference for longterm economic inactivity, long after you no longer have young children? It just makes you sound like those benefits cheats who think people who work are fools for not playing it their way.

@DHsPoorBack

How can you do more than equal childcare?

Why would I be bitter about or have a chip about housewives?!

I think they promote sexist ideals which are far from desirable.

I'm not sure how that equates to bitterness (which we all know means jealousy in this context)

the familiar note from @Comedycook, always trying to find justification for being a housewife despite her independent children long having shoved her out of the SAHM category

What do you mean by independent children?

It's a little pointless conversing with you I'm afraid. I told you what I did as a working mother and a SAHM. You don't understand what's written, write something unrelated and blindingly obvious, then conclude "point proven."

And as your "I don't 'make' my DH do anything" if you'd just like to scroll back to your post where those are your exact words...

Take care.

To be honest, even if you do work only for Mulberry bags and Jimmy Choos, so what? As long as your family's not going hungry for them or something, why can't you work because you like those things?

Some people are materialistic and stuff makes them happy. If they're prepared to work for it and they're not being irresponsible with bills and family, what's wrong with that?

@DHsPoorBack

I understand you're trying to make out like its impossible to be a good parent and work. Which is clearly nonsense.

So you don't have a response as to why I would be bitter?

Thought not.

And, no, I didn't say I made dh do anything.

This is what it comes down to for me.

This thread is full of it.

Men who work take pride in providing for their families
Women who work are greedy and just want to buy more handbags

Women simply enjoy baking and sewing
Men can hold down professional jobs but somehow don't ''see'' mess around the house
Just preference, nothing to do with sexism and what societal gender roles....sure.

@SouthLondonMum22

You forgot the awful harridian of a wm shouting at her kids because she's so stressed out and blames then while the dh does fuck all

Because it is almost always only aimed towards women who want to work.

Because ots obviously impossible for hom to like or care about any of that stuff as a man.

Perfectly acceptable for home to just not do any of it.

Why should a man have to do anything he doesn't enjoy?

SouthLondonMum22
I feel the same. A lot of it rests on stereotypes of men/women, and quite sexist ones at that.

We've seen it on the flip side because DH and I both work part time. People say to me that it must be nice to have time to keep on top of the housework. Nobody says that to DH. The assumption is that him being part time is for him to have time to himself, but my time at home is obviously for housework. 🙄

I also think there's some fairly obvious confusion between being a housewife and being a stay at home parent. They are not the same, and yet there's a lot of people who seem to think challenging the ideas that underpin the concept housewives equals hating on stay at home parents and not valuing stay at home parents.

Of course!

How could he possibly work full time and gasps cook and/or clean. He doesn't have time. 🙄

Did you tell your husband it made you sick when he handed his poor baby off to you and went to work?

How selfish of him

Also, my baby's keyworker is a man.

@SouthLondonMum22

The very idea that a man could have time!

No.

The woman, who also works full time, should just do it all.

She'll enjoy it

I have to say that @DHsPoorBack seems to make very heavy weather of everything.

I mean it's laughable that WOHP are going to start hoovering at 10pm , bake cakes or turn up trousers.
I eat whatever DH has cooked and park my bum on the sofa.

Robot hoover and mop
Stash of uniced cakes/ loaf cakes in freezer or frozen cookie dough .DH gasp can even manage to shove icing on them.
Turn up trousers -he can buy the correct length in the first place.
Gifts, cards,wrap -buy online.
It does make me cringe when women witter on about how hard stuff like this is when actually the real reason they are at home is because child care for 1 plus twins is too expensive!

I don't know why this is such a difficult concept. Our household requires both paid work and unpaid work for it to run successfully.

Our working days are both 9-5pm.

He doesn't have time during those hours to do housework because he is working. Why should he do paid work 9-5pm then unpaid work from 5-8pm?

He doesn't need to because I've done the unpaid work during 9-5pm. We both stop at 5pm.

It's like saying, why don't I do all the domestic stuff 9-5pm, then get an evening job?

Because the paid work has been covered. I don't need too.

We both could do some form of work until 8pm, but why on earth would we? It's called teamwork. We both provide something equally valuable, in order that we can share a lot of free time together and with our DC.

Oh, ignore the person who plops in at the 11th hour with egregiously offensive crap.

I mean it's laughable that WOHP are going to start hoovering at 10pm , bake cakes or turn up trousers.

I mean, no one said that, but carry on.

@DHsPoorBack

'Our household requires both paid work and unpaid work for it to run successfully.'

So does everyone else's

It's just that we don't split the work into vaginas and penises

We both do it all.

You said it!