To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

Well, aren't you lucky that your anti-capitalism and anti-materialism hasn't stopped you from marrying a man who earns enough for two on a standard working week so you can avoid the stresses of standard modern life. Most of us don't get to uphold our political principles so easily.

Well it's easier now due to working from home and flexible working being normalised but when my DC were very small...both DH and I worked full time in offices in the city with one hour commutes...

@Comedycook

A minute ago you said society now...

So which is it?

It isn't always easy. It would be easier for one of us not to work but it would also be short sighted.

The nursery fees are a killer but long term? It is worth it and that's why we do it.

@Comedycook

Can you not see how inconsistent your argument is here though? You're railing against "materialism" and childcare and people "rushing around" while advocating more time for naps during the working day etc and basically suggesting that working mothers are mugs.

Who gets to pay for all this? Leaving the question of fulfilment at work to one side for a minute, most couples simply can't afford to live on one person's salary.

I work in public service admin and when DS was young I used to work on a term time contract - I used to love the summer holidays - probably more of a SAHM role than housewife as I would be doing activities with DS most days but as he got older and more independent I used to enjoy a bit of space to meet up with my own friends . And yes I would do all home related tasks during that time . In terms of non-day-to-day housework I do miss those extended holiday periods .

Nope.
have done it before and would be very bored and can’t afford it. Sometimes I think I want it but I know I would hate it. Already bored at home after a week off.

most couples simply can't afford to live on one person's salary

If that's the case, then I consider that to be a huge shame. Society would be happier in general if one salary could support a whole family...but we must make sure those shareholders make as much profit as humanly possible.

Oh and I know loads of couples who could live easily on one salary but people are greedy and want more and more

@Comedycook

Why do you think society would be happier if people could live on 1 wage?

Would your oh be happy not working?

People or women?

I could live off of my husband's salary but I don't want to. It isn't greedy to not want to live off of someone else.

@Comedycook

If that's the case, then I consider that to be a huge shame. Society would be happier in general if one salary could support a whole family...but we must make sure those shareholders make as much profit as humanly possible.

So... let's get this straight. The only reason why both partners in a partnership might want to work is to increase shareholder profit?

Right.... so what about the midwife upthread? What about doctors, nurses, paramedics, teachers, civil servants, social workers, academics, artists, poets, elite sports people, musicians, scientists, farmers, charity workers, you get the picture. They are only working to increase shareholder profit?

How would it benefit society for every person working in one of those fields who also has a working spouse to suddenly stop working? How would it benefit their families for them to lose half their income overnight.

What about me. I'm a lone parent. Should I stop working and bring my daughter up on air in order not to increase "shareholder profit" and spend more money on handbags.

Your argument is absolute nonsense.

If I had a partner who stayed at home and regularly napped when I was at work (without a medical reason), I would find it so incredibly unattractive!

I'm impressed at how much you know about people's private financial situations. I'm also rather impressed that you've got this far without realising that most families, saving the people you know, can't survive on one income. Real worldliness there.

That being the case, if they could afford not to work and still choose to, it's because they value whatever work gives them over the benefits of not working. They get whatever they want from it, while you get to deride them as greedy while not working and napping. Win win.

Im a MIDWIFE !

Then you are unusually lucky in the hand life has dealt you. You were wealthy prior to your marriage, and married a man who somehow managed to take his career from 'strength to strength' without having to work harder or longer than 9-5. You must see that that is a very rare set of circumstances. Most women don't enter their marriage with sufficient personal wealth to offset a life long lack of financial contribution. Most people do not build successful careers without working hard on your despised hamster wheel. If society is a sad and depressing place, it's not because people aren't as wise or enlightened as you, it's because they're not as uniquely fortunate.

‘What about doctors, nurses, paramedics, teachers, civil servants, social workers, academics, artists, poets, elite sports people, musicians, scientists, farmers, charity workers, you get the picture. They are only working to increase shareholder profit? ‘

It’s odd; some like comedycook think all jobs are about working in an office earning money for a big bad businessman. I don’t know if that’s because they are thick or whether it just suits their choice to be unemployed.

it's because they're not as uniquely fortunate

I know women whose husbands earn more than mine but they choose to work...then moan about how busy they are. They could make the same choice as me if they wanted to

She could have avoided all this by just being honest about it. Her husband earns enough that she can afford not to work. She doesn't like working and prefers a slow pace of life with afternoon naps, her husband is on board with it, so that's what she does. Fine. I respect that and I think most others would too. It's their business.

It's the attempts to justify it as a superior life that, far from being self-serving, is actually a political statement, a blow against capitalism and materialism, a spiritual calling, a display of her total lack of greed, that's making it look daft.

@Comedycook

Clearly they don't want to then.

My job is incredibly stressful at times. I've been known to moan about it.

I still wouldnt want to give it up.

@NewMarmalade

It’s odd; some like comedycook think all jobs are about working in an office earning money for a big bad businessman. I don’t know if that’s because they are thick or whether it just suits their choice to be unemployed.

You always get this stereotype from posters who disapprove of working mothers. We're all swaggering types with shoulder pads, briefcases and big hair who work in gleaming City office, ball-busting our way around the boardroom conducting M&A arbitrage on our phones as we eat salad and dressing like a character from Suits.

It might be insulting if it wasn't so wildly inaccurate: it seems not to have occurred to any of these people that the largest employer of women in the UK is the NHS.

Ah, so it is about women, not everyone. As I suspected.

Do you never moan about anything? Housework, children, only napping for 1 hour instead of 2?

I know women whose husbands earn more than mine but they choose to work...then moan about how busy they are. They could make the same choice as me if they wanted to

Then they clearly don't want to. Presumably they see your life and don't want it.

Rushing round picking up kids from childcare well into the evening, barely having any downtime. Endless chores being squeezed into a small amount of time. Couples bickering over domestic tasks. It's incredibly depressing
I agree with you.

What I find very depressing is that the answer to this is do anything and everything to avoid men having to pick up the slack at home, do their share of chores, do their share of childcare and expect women to take the hit along the line.
Even where there's two adults working, the 'solution' suggested is to pay another (probably less well off) woman to do the domestic jobs.

A more equitable way forward would be that men (as a class) stop viewing domestic duties and raising children as women's work, and that women who subscribe to the idea that poor men would be ever so stressed if they had to make their own dinner or run a mop around the kitchen started to think about which group in society is benefited by this worldview.

@LolaSmiles

The problem with that is that then women who want to choose to be housewives wouldnt be able to justify it

Exactly. There are so many jobs out there. I think posters like her cannot understand that there are also reasons for working that are not about ‘greed’. (It’s only women who work out of greed of course, not the Important Men).

Work can also be about job satisfaction, contributing to society, maintaining good mental health, having social connections etc. It’s not just about the money and handbags, however much ‘housewives’ (gosh I hate that word) like comedycook like to convince themselves that it is.