To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

I don't have 'housewifey' eyes thank you.

You won't believe the career I had before. I worked in showbusiness and I loved my life and did the most amazing things. Guess what, I find being a housewife even better and more fulfilling.

My last job was NHS and the stress was even worse than when I worked for one of the big banks. I hate all the team-building and yearly appraisals where you have to set goals - yes, even in the NHS. You do have a point though, I'll be looking to work for a small family business when I do go back. I've only ever worked for large organisations and have never liked the culture.

Well you said it -not me! 😂

@Itsnotpacific - but not everybody can arrange shifts to be at home if necessary- it's not just about being around incase a boiler needs fixing. Working from home and quickly opening the door can sort that one out, but I guess you can't work from home?

A colleague of mine, after much juggling and trying to find help at home decided to stop working because the needs of her family were too great. I've been needed a lot by family recently, it's been super stressful managing work and hospital appointments for young adult DC and elderly parents. Being a housewife would mean I would have time to care for my family, which a lot of posters on MN seem to think is a horrible thing, and out sourcing care is preferable. We're all different I guess.

I said it in response to a question about how my time is flexible, and it's one of many recent examples 🤷

My DH is on 125k and I still work full-time. I like having my own money it took me years to train up with literal blood sweat and tears. I earn half my colleagues tell me to quit but I do love having my own money. My DH pays all the bills we split food shopping and DDs stuff, I pay a little bit of mortgage overpayments. I mostly keep all my own money 🤣🤣🤣 it would be a lot of disposable income to throw away. If we did split I would be absolutely fine though.

I worked f/t in a really high pressured job for over 20 years Social services manager so working well over 50 hours a week unpaid). Last year I took the plunge and applied for a p/t role in a school. I now work 3 days a week term time only. So not a 100% ". housewife" but OMG what a difference this has made to my life. I could never ever go back to Full time work now. In fact if I could afford it I would.not work at all.

Things I can do since not working F/T

• house/home admin

-clean the oven/fridge/etc this used to really stress me out. -get through the washing. -exercise -see friends -spend proper time with the kids and husband. -do something on a whim

I know it's not for everyone. But for me it's been amazing.

It’s not that difficult to believe. I can think of several people I know who found it difficult to find a professional niche after a career that they loved in acting, dance, music and the like ended.

In a couple of cases — one a friend who’d been a soloist with Rambert and other good companies — she struggled because she had very poor levels of conventional education to fall back on. She had to retrain, which involved her going back to take A Levels in the first place while mourning a career cut short through injury, because she needed to support herself, but had she been in a relationship with someone who was prepared to pay for her to be economically inactive, I’m sure that might have seemed appealing.

Fair enough , we choose the careers we want and they have up and downsides.

What always shines through on these threads though is that so many women have zero support from their DHs.
It's all on them.
Basic household stuff can be shared equally along with child care if men wanted that.
But they don't in most cases so guess what women give up work.
Please don't say we think caring for family is horrible , that's completely out of order.

My DC have never been in any sort of CC.
We cared for our family.
We have a clean, tidy home , nice garden and life.
Oh and I don't deliver babies in an office!

‘Things I can do since not working F/T

house/home admin

-clean the oven/fridge/etc this used to really stress me out.
-get through the washing.
-exercise
-see friends
-spend proper time with the kids and husband.
-do something on a whim’

Do you think a man has ever written the above? Ugh and we wonder why we have a gender pay gap. Cleaning a fridge stressing you out so you give up work. Bleugh.

You've made a lot of assumptions there. My career didn't end, in fact I am still very involved in that world and could be working by this afternoon if I so wished. I chose my life, I didn't shack up with a man to become 'economically inactive' as you put it. Sounds like you're the resentful one.

The term housewife is awful!

but if it was independently wealthy I think I could leave work and live quite a nice life! For about six months before boredom set in.

I could never be a housewife and rely on a husbands financial support though. Far too risky - no matter how solid the relationship seems. I would wake up at 3am in a panic😂

Things I can do since not working F/T

• house/home admin

-clean the oven/fridge/etc this used to really stress me out.
-get through the washing.
-exercise
-see friends
-spend proper time with the kids and husband.
-do something on a whim

I know it's not for everyone.

Are you serious?
Because you WOH you wouldn't get to do any of the above?

The sexism on this thread is depressing as fuck.

But nothing new eh

‘Being a housewife would mean I would have time to care for my family, which a lot of posters on MN seem to think is a horrible thing, and out sourcing care is preferable. ‘

My issue is that it is never the man doing this. Always the woman giving up work to do the caring roles.

MN is extraordinary accepting of the entrenched sexism in our society.

@FedUpCoveringOthers - it's not never a man- my BIL chose to be a SAHP, and then worked very part time while caring for an elderly relative. My DSis would have gone insane if she'd had to be a housewife. But it is rare.

No I would find it terribly boring. Maternity leave was boring by the end.

Yes my DH asked for a flexible contract -they were astonished but gave it to him.
As easy as that.
He was the only man who had ever asked.

Men are the reason women have to give up work.
Women have moved forward, so many men stuck in the " but I go to work" mentality.
Depressing.

*Yes my DH asked for a flexible contract -they were astonished but gave it to him.
As easy as that.
He was the only man who had ever asked.

Men are the reason women have to give up work.
Women have moved forward, so many men stuck in the " but I go to work" mentality.
Depressing.*

Absolutely. But it’s not just the men who are stuck- it’s the employers too.

After we had DC it was clear we couldn’t both carry on working long hours. DH was adamant he could not ask for reduced hours in his job as it would be career suicide. His view was that although a part time request would also be difficult in my career, it would be marginally more accepted in my industry and coming from a woman.

The sad thing is, whilst I was and am angry about this, I do actually think that he was right for our respective industries and sexes.

This was 10 years ago, things have moved on a lot, but still no change in DH’s industry. It is very much based on a long hours, available at all times including weekends and holidays, model. Funnily enough there are very few women in it.

Anyway bit of a tangent sorry!!

I'm never bored but I'm an introvert so am fine being by myself during the day..in fact I love it. I'm a thinker, not a doer. How can you be bored when there are always books and tv?!

I wouldn’t like to be a housewife but I would like to win the lottery and give up work.

Being a housewife involves having to live off someone else’s income.
I see it as basically being a maid/prostitute as you are not an equal you are just there to cook, clean and have sex.
It also possibly means you’d either have to put up with a lot of unwanted behaviour or break up and go and find yourself a job.
It’s also very unfair that 1 person is solely financially responsible for everything as that is massive pressure and it’s why so many men commit suicide.

I always remember the thread about a woman wanting a rich husband who works hard for his money.
Posters were saying you’ll never see him, why don’t you get a high paying job or wouldn’t you wish to win the lottery instead but she was adamant that she’d rather have a husband who makes lots of money than make lots of money herself or win the lottery as it would be a good role model for her kids.
I think about it all the time.

I would like to win millions on the lottery so I don’t have to work or neither does my partner or family or friends.
I would take time off but then I’d have to do volunteer work as I’d go absolutely mad and I think not working has awful effects on your MH.

As a single parent working FT it is so difficult trying to juggle everything but there’s no way I’d be a housewife.
If I couldn’t win the lottery then I’d compromise and have both me and my future DP both working PT if we could afford it so we both have a better work/life balance.

I do think if a man asked this question he’d be ripped to shreds.

I do think there's an element of stretching tasks to fill more time and work creation in the case of housewives. For example, school uniform can be washed weekly or daily.
I've also come across well off SAHMs who were reluctant to go back to work once the DC were at school who have suddenly acquired a puppy and so, they have a new excuse to languish at home, often with cleaners and gardeners to do the grunt work while they swan around being ladies who lunch, play tennis, get their nails done etc. (Yes, I am bitter 😂)

DH is on more than this, but not, say double. We don't live the life of Riley by any means. We do have 3DC, so we are an expensive family so to speak. Plus 2 are DTwins, which is an extra expense just by the nature of simultaneous expenses of two of everything, at the same time, and no hand-me-downs.

I bring in about £500 eBay per month, which we do actually need for non essential "treats" IE we'd like a new barbecue this year, and it will come out of my eBay pot. We'd function fine without it, but we don't have much left over each month. This month, we've had 2 flat tyres and a blooming flat battery this morning. That's £600 right there. And there's always something like that each month.

I make a tenner go a lot further than most people, but I can only do that because I have the time to do that. Eg, I can go to three different shops for the food shopping, to get the best prices and quality. Working full time, I'd just get an online order and it would cost what it costs.

I get nearly all the DC toys and clothes second hand. I'm super fussy, so only get things that look pristine, yet a bargain, then even when DC have grown out of them, I'll sell them, usually for more than I paid.

I could be pulling in £80k myself. But we're happy like this. DC are happy. I'm much healthier in my state of mind and contentment. DH can focus on earning, which he thrives on (he's ND and thrives under pressure) so whilst we could probably take more holidays if I worked, we'd all be less happy, and that's where we place the value on our set up.

No, I might no be as sharp as I was, partly through being out of that environment, partly through just getting older, but actually, it doesn't matter. I'm a better, more relaxed parent. I'm a better cook, and really proud of the things I can make now, which has led to us entertaining more and having a better social life. Yeah, I can't do complicated calculations and save you thousands in restructuring your tax plans anymore, but really, there's more to life than that. I'm not thick as mince. Far from it. I was a straight A student, highly professionally qualified, academically, couldn't get much better. And it was shit. I haven't become a mumbling numpty. I've just learned that my real satisfaction and happiness is not from paid employment. And that's ok.

I'd quite like to be a housewife. As long as enough money was coming in.

Not necessarily saving childcare fees. My daughter and her husband both work full time but manage the shifts so other parent available for childcare It's worked for 6 years since she went back to work when he was 5 months old Never paid more than the nursery lunch cost in all that time Does help she is in charge of scheduling husbands shifts