C-section not real birth

[Washingforweeks]

I was just scrollling through Facebook and saw a post about women getting shamed for c-sections. I’ve had 3 vaginal births never a c section so I have never personally experienced this kind of…. Well wtf is it…. Ridiculousness. Is this genuinely a real thing?? Are there women out there being shamed for having c-sections? If so Jesus Christ. Seriously?!

It’s this weird competition of who survived most that’s so odd… the thing is we all have different pain tolerances so this isn’t something that can ever be compared vaginal or c section xx

I had a c section as my child was breech, effectively the safest option for birth. One woman asked if I was upset I didn’t give birth properly! Another suggested I didn’t know what it was like to be a real woman! Yup woman can be vile.

The baby is there and safe and alive. It is none of anyone else’s business how it happened 🙄

Definitely a thing on here, never heard it in real life. I had a c-section and have never given it a second thought. Someone on here was saying how guity they felt and that they'd let their baby down! Women shaming women again sadly.

Had 2 c-sections. Never been shamed, never felt ashamed. I have seen many women on MN who have felt that they didn’t have a “proper”birth, and struggled with it.

I grew 2 babies and we all came out of it healthily. That’s all that matters.

I'm not sure if this is shaming or not but someone did say to me if you are anxious and tense up it's more likely you'll have one. So basically blaming me for my own c-section. My daughter was back to back and stuck I don't think any amount of relaxing would have pushed her out.

Some sad people turn anything and everything into a competition and that's their problem really. Most sane and well balanced people are just happy and relieved to have a safe delivery, regardless of the means.

I had an EMC and I honestly couldn't give a toss if someone has a problem with the way my child was born or wants to consider herself a warrier while I had an easy ride. My child is healthy and happy, we are busy living and enjoying our lives and that's all that matters to me!

Without them either me or at least one (if not both) of the dc wouldn’t be alive now.

People say stupid things all the time, OP.

I've had 3 sections and no one has ever been anything but nice I don't think...

The only thing I slightly raise an eyebrow at is when people describe their c sections on MN as being 'very relaxing' and 'like a spa day' I'm like... how shitty are the spas you're going to?

My FIL made a comment about me taking the easy way out/not really needing a c-section to me while I was still hooked up to life saving medicine and machines in the HDU....however I think that was more to make me feel small than him actually having strong feelings on c-sections.

The NCT are the absolute worst for this, IME.

I'm way too happy with my choice to have an ELCS to ever be shamed by it.

But its a truly shitty thing to do; I'm sure the women who feel sensitive about having had a CS are those who had no choice in the matter and would have rather had a VB.

😂

I think with anything maternal, it can be very hard to separate the personal from the general. By that I mean a lot of us will see someone make a different choice to us as them also making a judgement against us.

Looking through mumsnet you'll more often see a judgemental comments. I've seen a lot of very negative posts about vaginal birth but a lot fewer on c sections.

I've seen people that have talked about having c-sections saying they feel shamed and like they didn't have a real birth etc but they're the only people I've ever seen talking about it. When I've asked them they have said they haven't received shame from others and it's mostly stick they give themselves.

I have received a lot of shame from other mums for having a long labour without an epidural though. "Do you think you're a super hero?" (when they asked me if I had an epidural and I said no and didn't elaborate) "you don't get a medal for staying in pain you know", "and you still had to stay in hospital over night, what a waste of time not having the epidural was!". This has been from people who have had epidurals or c-sections. I don't know if it's projection of them not feeling like they had the birth they hoped for. But really people should just stop commenting on other people's birth experiences full stop. C-section, vaginal birth, assisted birth - whatever has happened, baby was delivered safely and if mum recovers well from birth then all of the options are ok.

😂😂

Theres weirdos everywhere. Nothing shameful about a c sec. I thoughts using the term ‘giving birth’ for c sec was odd at first, but then the baby has been delivered so what else could you say?

thanks for all your replies.
this world can be baffling at times

If a c section is the only safe way to deliver a baby and keep mum safe of course it’s a real birth

However if your too posh to push and have a c section then that’s another story 😂

I still cannot fathom why people think it’s any of their business. Why pass comment on a woman who has just given birth? I had so many emotions for the first few months, as I imagine a lot of women do. I had comments from men (random man on the bus told me how I should be sitting my newborn up in the bassinet because they were crying, then questioned why I didn’t want to breastfeed in public - standing up on a packed bus!!!). Another man (a supposed friend), said he bet my husband was happy I had a section!!

Then comments from women ranging from delight I was breastfeeding in public, then another questioning why I didn’t want to breastfeed when I gave my baby a bottle!!

Stop berating women full stop - let alone when they’ve just given birth! It doesn’t affect anyone else in any way! Imagine going up to stranger and questioning how much they’re drinking in the pub, or what they’re eating in a restaurant. Leave us alone!!!

And FWIW, I think a c-section is the harder of the two. Don't get me wrong, a long vaginal delivery without pain relief and delivering what ended up being a very big baby was agony, I was delirious by the end to be honest and a consultant did come in to assess me for a section (when he got there he asked the midwives why they'd been telling me not to push when I was 10cm and I'd been saying I needed to push for 3 hours, and he could see baby's head).
A c-section is quite a big op with a long recovery time. I'd take my VB any day. But whatever is needed for a safe healthy bub and mum.

I’ve had two planned c-sections, I had a 50/50 chance of survival if I had had a natural birth - no-one was willing to take that risk. I would have like to have tried but don’t feel like a failure at not - I’m alive and have two healthy babies.

Thankfully no-one has ever mentioned anything, it’s none of anyone else business.

Totally not my experience. It might have been that my NCT teacher had a c section and 2 women in our group were already booked in for one too.

In all my dealings with them since I've found it very evidenced based and balanced. What they cannot do is take into account every single woman's personal risk profile / obstetric history. Again it's separating the personal from the general.

I don’t think either are easier or harder than the other. Some have easy births or difficult births and recovery whatever way the baby comes out.