C-section not real birth

[Washingforweeks]

I was just scrollling through Facebook and saw a post about women getting shamed for c-sections. I’ve had 3 vaginal births never a c section so I have never personally experienced this kind of…. Well wtf is it…. Ridiculousness. Is this genuinely a real thing?? Are there women out there being shamed for having c-sections? If so Jesus Christ. Seriously?!

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's awful. And I hope gives all the c-section Mum bashers something to think about.

I've had 2 c-sections myself: first for a breech baby and the second as a personal choice. I regret neither and know I did the best thing for my babies and myself.

I don't know why childbirth and motherhood have to constantly be some kind of competition and only if you have a 3-day labour, episiotomy, 4th degree tear and breastfed until your nipples bled are you a worthwhile mother.

Aside from a couple of comments about missing out on experiencing a natural birth (um, really?) I haven't experienced too many nasty comments about my daughter's births. I would tell them to take a long walk off a short pier if they did though.

April is actually c-section awareness month so shout out to all my fellow c-section Mamas - and to all the vaginal birth Mamas too. You're all warriors.

Whilst I personally didn't want a C-section due to the recovery time; what I absolutely did want was an early epidural.

In the end , as my daughter was 13 days late and there was no sign of labor even starting and I needed to be induced via oxytocin drip, I was able to insist on an epidural prior to an oxytocin drip.

The midwives involved spent over an hour trying to argue with me that it was apparently unheard of to have an epidural before starting oxytocin if not in active labour, loudly laughed about how "demanding," I was to ask for this in the corridor , a young midwife who admitted she'd never had children yet told me , ( after the epidural had already been inserted) , "well I would have at least made the effort to start without one."

When I pointed out to one midwife , ( who was insistent I should delay epidural so I could move around) , that I was cannulated and strapped to machines and had been told I would be for the whole of induced labour she told me , " well we can get you a long lead so you can bounce on a birth ball ."

Even prior to the birth at antenatal appointments I was told I would not need an epidural and most women managed to use just gas and air.

I was absolutely shamed and made to feel awful for wanting an epidural, so I can absolutely imagine the same midwives would have been vile to women who wanted an ELCS for non medical reasons.

Christ, I'd be proper "shamed" then, I had failed epidural, a 2nd epidural, gas and air, diamorphine, fentanyl, forceps, spinal block ? ( maybe) and then c section.
After the 2nd epidural ( I think, I was pretty wasted by this point 😅) he used forceps and said "push like your having the biggest poo ever"
I couldn't feel anything from my boobs down, I literally couldn't feel my own arsehole to push anything!
My notes say reason for c section "poor maternal effort" !
Is been on call for induction for 6 days, literally no sleep due to the stress of being asked to ring hospital every day, told no room, then 8.45pm 6 days later called to come in, awake all through the night til birth at 6pm next day, only allowed water as soon as drip hooked up at 10pm, although I was too wiped out from drugs to ask for water, or explain how bad the pain was at the right side of my back.
Pushing a melon sized object of your vagina is not a fun prospect and neither is being sliced open.
No one should be shamed about either.

*Oh, I wanted one like that. Childbirth how nature should have organised it if ‘Mother’ Nature really knew best. Sadly when I went to the Birth Choice Shop a couple of decades ago they were all out of straightforward home births in my size. I think there’s always been supply issues with those.

More seriously, there’s often a really unpleasant undercurrent of eugenics/nature fascism in a lot of the natural childbirth movement’s ideas. I sometimes encounter the idea that somehow women who have had sections have passed on their defective birthing equipment to the next generation and are bringing down the human race. Which, as well as being staggeringly offensive and misogynistic, is really inaccurate scientifically*

I am not sure if you were trying to be snarky towards me..? I was saying that I couldn't understand the appeal of vaginal birth until I witnessed my sister's 2 births, which were straightforward.

I've had 3 c sections (1 emergency, 2 elective). I also have IVF so they didn't go in or come out 'naturally' so how's that for deficient genetics...

I don’t not agree with you but find it pretty hilarious you’re giving out about women on this thread being OTT triggered and offended by posters saying ‘it wasn’t a birth it was an extraction’ and ‘too posh to push’ amongst other nasty comments while simultaneously being OTT triggered and offended yourself by comments made about the aftermath of vaginal birth to the extent you’re saying those posters shouldn’t be parents @StevieNic

It’s an irony that will be lost on posters that basic.

People who don't like things you agree with = OTT and unreasonable to be offended.

People who say things you disagree with = vile and shouldn't be parents.

I can’t imagine the utter, crass stupidity of anyone thinking or saying this to a new mother who has had a C-section.
It’s vicious and stupid, if I heard anything like this I’d take their face off.
PS: I am a mother and grandmother and never had a C-section.

Why do we accept this shit?

Hypocrisy Klaxon

Competitive birthing can fuck off.
I had an emergency caesarian and a vaginal birth. Both experiences left me with stitches, pain, soreness, tiredness, constipation but ultimately a healthy baby.
I see no difference.

I had this from my mother in law - asked me if I felt cheated from having a normal birth. No, funnily enough, I'm pleased that my baby survived without life changing injuries

I am not sure if you were trying to be snarky towards me..? I was saying that I couldn't understand the appeal of vaginal birth until I witnessed my sister's 2 births, which were straightforward.

I was absolutely not trying to be snarky towards you @GoneTillNovember . In fact, I’m rather envious of people like your sister. I used to read stuff by Sheila Kitzinger (she was something of a feminist as well as a natural birth pioneer) when I was an impressionable teenager finding out about the ‘facts’ of life, and scenes like that often featured in my fantasy far-off future.

The snark comes from my own anger at how ‘normal’ births are perceived to be more normal (and more controllable) than they really are, IYSWIM. While I was a bit more clued up at 33 than I was at 16 (not mad enough to ask for a home birth for my first, for example), I did feel to some extent that I had been misled for many years about the true likelihood of achieving that happy scenario.

@CountingMareep ok, no worries at all. It is a sad state of affairs that women are made to feel inadequate about their birth experiences, no matter what form that takes. I find it hard to comprehend that women could tear each other down like that. Unfortunately it seems to be something that is replicated at every stage of motherhood! 😩

Maybe even every stage of womanhood, mother or not!

This is highly unscientific and all the assumptions in this article are based on best-case scenarios with no risk factors whatsoever.

There are clear definitions of what birth and labour are - regardless of uneducated and ignorant opinions, those definitions don't change. C-sections are births as defined in the English language, we are talking about babies not teeth. Many women do go through labour before having a c-section, again the stages of labour are clearly defined and are not dependant on the delivery that comes after. Shaming shouldn't happen either way round but denying a medical fact (c-sections are births) isn't going to help matters.

Clearly you won't believe me, but that wasn't my experience of birth. I was clearly very lucky and unusual, but I'm not delusional, whether or not you 'buy it'!

I am genuinely mildly sad that I will never give birth again.

I’m with you. I’ve recently had my 4th child and I’m really sad I will never get to experience it again. I don’t think it’s an “unavoidably awful experience” at all.

Yup with my first when I went to the hairdresser for the first time my stylist said to me oh you had a C-section, that's good you got the easy option then.
It was more laughable than anything as she was clearly clueless.

Poor maternal effort?

I think that’s honestly worth a complaint. How galling.

That’s so wonderful to hear.

I wish I could see natural birth that way. With tokophobia, I am absolutely terrified of the idea for myself - it makes me feel deeply panicky and anxious and nauseous. So c sections for me - and I loved my first c section.

I am really happy for you, that you and some other women do have positive and empowering natural birth experiences too.

Agree with every word.

I have experience of both, my first two children were VB 18 and 15 years ago and had a C-section (breech) 4weeks ago.

I can easily say the C-section was the worst experience of my life. As a was being closed up I suffered a cardiac arrest due to amniotic fluid embolism, I also had pleural effusions and blood clots on my lungs, possibly had a stroke and was in a coma for 4 days. It took two weeks longer to get out of hospital after stays on ICU and HDU.

@Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes it doesn’t matter how many times I read your reply I still can’t make sense of it. How does anything you say relate to what I wrote?
I haven’t made any reference to women choosing sections. I chose one myself so how would I be ‘piqued’ about it??