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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

C-section not real birth

453 replies

Washingforweeks · 12/04/2023 19:27

I was just scrollling through Facebook and saw a post about women getting shamed for c-sections. I’ve had 3 vaginal births never a c section so I have never personally experienced this kind of…. Well wtf is it…. Ridiculousness. Is this genuinely a real thing?? Are there women out there being shamed for having c-sections? If so Jesus Christ. Seriously?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Washingforweeks · 12/04/2023 19:39

No I genuinely have never heard someone being made to feel inferior by having a c section- I’ve seen the usual BS around breast and not formula shaming, and I have occasionally been made to feel abit shit myself for having had epidurals (by friends who breezed births) but never this c section crap x

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 12/04/2023 19:39

I've never experienced this but I've had a natural birth and a caesarean and the caesarean was much more difficult overall.

Saschka · 12/04/2023 19:39

MrsBunnyEars · 12/04/2023 19:31

Whoever said that was an arsehole.

But this sort of thing does happen. I had a c section and a postnatal yoga teacher told me that yoga would help to bond, as I’d obviously missed out on that.

I didn’t go back….

Me too! Wonder if it was the same yoga teacher?

TitoMojito · 12/04/2023 19:40

Some people just want to watch the world burn and will find any way to make others feel shit about themselves. Ignore them.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 12/04/2023 19:41

I’m pleased I don’t move in some of these circles. Literally every mum friend I have either had a CS or was drugged up to the eyeballs, and no one gives a shiny shite what each other chose to do.

Hankunamatata · 12/04/2023 19:43

It's totally weird. Doesn't matter if its by section or by vaginal as long as baby comes out. Healthy baby and healthy mum is the most important thing.

Festivemoose · 12/04/2023 19:43

Saschka · 12/04/2023 19:39

Me too! Wonder if it was the same yoga teacher?

Show quote history

I was told by a postnatal yoga teacher that if you had a sweep you didn’t have a “natural” birth.

DewinDwl · 12/04/2023 19:43

Anyone that makes snide comments about DC2 being born by elective c section gets the full details of my 4th degree tear during DC1's birth. It tends to shut people up.

Original poster
Washingforweeks · 12/04/2023 19:44

That sounds pretty rough. I too had fluid leaking but I was opposite as soon as I lead down felt like my head was going to explode. It’s took about a week to right itself I was convinced I was dying 😅

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youshouldnthaveasked · 12/04/2023 19:44

forceps baby 1 as couldn’t push him out.

csection baby 2 as breech.

Both times got a beautiful baby. Couldn’t give a shit what people think

Albiboba · 12/04/2023 19:45

I’ve never come across anyone who thinks this, either in real life or online.

Randomuser9876 · 12/04/2023 19:45

I had 2 ELCSs. Very much my preference as didn't want the complications that can follow a VB.

No said anything to me and I've been to all the baby groups in town x2!!!

As pp said most of my friends have either had a CS or were off their tits on pethidine and I can't imagine why anyone would be bothered either way.

Tisfortired · 12/04/2023 19:46

I’ve had both a ‘natural’ birth and an emergency section (3 months ago) not experienced any negativity from people I know yet, but the narrative at the hospital and in my notes made me feel shit. My discharge papers from my second son noted the reason for section was ‘failure to progress.’ I was induced at 37+4 due to slowed growth and after being in labour for 4 days he just was not ready to be born and would not budge. The attitudes from the hospital staff at the time still make me feel like a failure and it plays on my mind daily.

Hankunamatata · 12/04/2023 19:46

What's more terrifying is not having the option of a section and mother/baby dying. We are so lucky to live in a country where we don't have to watch women die unnecessarily in child birth due to lack of medical access

Original poster
Washingforweeks · 12/04/2023 19:47

Yes I completely agree. If it wasn’t for modern medicine and the training of the midwives I 100% would not if survived any of my 3 children’s births

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 12/04/2023 19:47

Tisfortired · 12/04/2023 19:46

I’ve had both a ‘natural’ birth and an emergency section (3 months ago) not experienced any negativity from people I know yet, but the narrative at the hospital and in my notes made me feel shit. My discharge papers from my second son noted the reason for section was ‘failure to progress.’ I was induced at 37+4 due to slowed growth and after being in labour for 4 days he just was not ready to be born and would not budge. The attitudes from the hospital staff at the time still make me feel like a failure and it plays on my mind daily.

I'm sorry you were made to feel like that. Medical terms can sound really harsh

Saschka · 12/04/2023 19:47

Festivemoose · 12/04/2023 19:43

I was told by a postnatal yoga teacher that if you had a sweep you didn’t have a “natural” birth.

Show quote history

You do wonder what makes somebody go into post-natal yoga teaching when they are so poorly suited to it. They must be driving away 50% of their customers as soon as they open their mouths Confused

Whatt · 12/04/2023 19:48

I've experienced the opposite.
That women who have C-Sections have better vaginas.

Original poster
Washingforweeks · 12/04/2023 19:48

I can imagine this is true to be fair 😂😂

OP posts:
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 12/04/2023 19:48

My mother doesn't believe I gave birth. I took the easy option apparently...if a 75 hour back labour in which contraction one hurt as much as the last one plus 3 hours pushing, failed forceps and an emcs I passed out during was the easy option, I'd hate to see the hard way.

I must admit I felt like I failed. Dc1 went to Nicu and I got postpartum psychosis and I blamed myself for both. If only I'd been capable of giving birth then he wouldn't have been ill and I wouldn't have been so exhausted/broken so my mental health may have coped better. It really undermined my sense of self because I was so used to my body doing what I asked of it, running, climbing, getting pregnant...never occurred to me that I may have a "sub optimal" pelvis that dc1's big head was never going to fit through.

Original poster
Washingforweeks · 12/04/2023 19:50

Ahhh I’m sorry to hear you felt this way. Try not to be too hard on yourself the main goal was to deliver a healthy baby and although he was in nicu I’m sure he is thriving now. So you did what you were supposed to do ❤️

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Meandfour · 12/04/2023 19:50

I’ve had 4 csections by choice and I’ve never experienced any comments like that. So long as baby arrives safely, does it really matter how that happens? It’s 2023 ffs, women have choices!

puttinoutfirewithactimel · 12/04/2023 19:51

My 2 sister in laws had this argument one Christmas. Sis in law 1 had just given birth vaginally and was waffling on about how she is so glad "she did it herself" and had a "proper birth experience"
Sis in law 2 had a C section the year before and went nuts and replied " at least I don't have a vagina like a hippo's yawn".

Cue....absolute slagging match over which was better and who had more pain, more invasion, more recovery etc.

I kept my beak shut because I had 4 C sections but I have to say they were 2 very angry women. They didn't talk to each other for months afterwards.

Viviennemary · 12/04/2023 19:51

It's just silly. The same with boasting about not needing pain relief. I believe in taking all the pain relief you can get. But if you want to be a martyr then crack on.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/04/2023 19:51

There was the enraged 'you've deprived me of my birthing experience' (ex).

There was the 'of course, you've systematically disadvantaged your child for life by not seeding her immune system through natural childbirth'.

Then there was a 'Was it hard? Oh, no, you had a section, that's easy'.

Plus half of Mumsnet's 'When I had my section, I was up and cleaning the ward with a toothbrush before they'd even given my baby his Apgar score (of 100, of course, the highest they'd ever seen), and then I popped on my pure white Versace skinnies in a size -2, insisted upon running home the fifteen miles across fell and dale with my youngest three tandem feeding throughout, singlehandedly conquering Aldi's bargain section and going to see the eldest star in her Year 2 teatime performance of Medea . It's nothing.'