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AIBU?

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Original poster

16 Year Old Daughter sat on fathers knee. Disgusting?

464 replies

RedFlags1 · 11/04/2023 15:12

It was my birthday last month and I went round to my new partners house for a meal with my two daughters.

After dinner I sat in an arm chair in the sitting room and my 16 year old came in and sat on my knee and gave me a hug and said Happy Birthday Dad. She was on my knee for about 30 seconds.

My partner was moody all evening and then shocked me by saying that this was because my daughter had sat on my knee. She said that this was abnormal and disgusting, that she thought it completely inappropriate for an adult woman to sit on my knee.

She went on to say that this made her feel sick and about to faint.

I am stunned by this reaction to something that I see as completely natural and not at all controversial.

At home I will often sit on the sofa next to my girls (16, 20+, 20+++) and put my arm around them. I have never for one second thought this inappropriate, nor have they.

Can I ask, does anyone think that it is inappropriate behaviour or disgusting?

OP posts:
Ingrowncrotchhair · 11/04/2023 16:18

vodkaredbullgirl · 11/04/2023 15:18

Her problem, not your problem.

This
the kind interpretation is that something in her past made the situation triggering for her.

if not that then she’s a weirdo and possessive and you should run a mile asap

Tessabelle74 · 11/04/2023 16:18

My Dad's friend told his family that he thought my Dad was abusing me and my sister because we still kissed on the lips at 13 and 11! I found out when I was 25 as his daughter started working with my partner. Luckily for him, he was no longer friends with my Dad because I would have told him had he been and my Dad would have been disgusted and quite rightly furious as was I! I put his daughter very straight and told her that she better not be spreading any more lies about my Dad. Your girlfriend is also seriously wrong in the head for reading ANYTHING sexual into your relationship and I'd suggest getting rid of her ASAP

MagicMatilda · 11/04/2023 16:19

I don’t think either of you are wrong. Maybe your partner was brought up in a family who didn’t show affection so that is out of the ordinary to her.

rogueone · 11/04/2023 16:19

don't you mean your ex partner.....

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/04/2023 16:19

If it was your 20-year old DD then maybe, but a birthday hug from your 16-year old daughter? It's your partner who has the problem.

Iwannatakearideonyourdiscostick · 11/04/2023 16:23

There is nothing wrong with adults and children (even adult ones) showing physical affection to one another. There's a lot wrong with someone saying makes them feel sick and faint.

Norberta · 11/04/2023 16:24

im in my 30s and I still snuggle up to my dad on the sofa! Probs wouldn’t sit on his nap in case I hurt him (!) but would drape my legs over him whilst chilling watching tv or whatever for sure! So would all my sisters! She’s being over sensitive

Ktime · 11/04/2023 16:26

Dump her now. Anything less is not fair to your dds.

Katherine1985 · 11/04/2023 16:26

It was a red flag in two cases I know of - but it was step fathers always having step daughters sitting on their lap. In each case he’d only met their mothers when the daughters were nearing puberty.

But the situation posted here is entirely different. At least two of my DF’s partners post divorce were jealous of his connection to us, his 3 children. One of them was insanely jealous of me. They were together from when I was 11-13 and she did some pretty wacko stuff, it was really damaging and confusing at the time.

FloydPepper · 11/04/2023 16:26

My daughter is 13 and I’ll be hugging her and being affectionate for as long as she’s comfortable with it. Be that 16 or 60. same for my son.

any partner objecting to that would likely be an ex partner, and I do t throw LTB around often.

ToWhitToWhoo · 11/04/2023 16:27

Your daughter is NOT an adult. And no, it's not 'disgusting'. Maybe slightly 'young' by the standards of teenagers nowadays, but very sweet. Your partner's attitude is rather disgusting, and suggests either jealousy or narrow-minded prejudice: beware!

Ringmaster27 · 11/04/2023 16:27

Yeah…she’s massively overreacting and it screams jealousy to me.
Not uncommon for me to have a cuddle with my dad if we are all sat together watching a film or something - only person who takes offence to it is my 3 year old DD because obviously that’s HER grandad and how dare he show any form of affection to anyone else 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Geppili · 11/04/2023 16:31

Jealousy

LeanneTen · 11/04/2023 16:34

I'm 28 and I'm still affectionate with my mam and dad! We are just that kind of family, we kiss on the cheek/hug/I'll sit next to them on the sofa and lay my head on them/cuddle etc

She is the weird one for sexualising it! What an awful overreaction!

BeverForget · 11/04/2023 16:35

16 is still a child, and still welcome to love a hug.
Your partner is the odd one.

BotterMon · 11/04/2023 16:36

Hope she's now your ex-partner. Jealous of your children is a complete turn-off.

Olive19741205 · 11/04/2023 16:36

MagicMatilda · 11/04/2023 16:19

I don’t think either of you are wrong. Maybe your partner was brought up in a family who didn’t show affection so that is out of the ordinary to her.

She was "moody all evening". That's a huge red flag to me. She will definitely escalate her jealousy. It's a new relationship and she's already showing that she has a problem with OPs children.

JudgeJ · 11/04/2023 16:37

RedFlags1 · 11/04/2023 15:12

It was my birthday last month and I went round to my new partners house for a meal with my two daughters.

After dinner I sat in an arm chair in the sitting room and my 16 year old came in and sat on my knee and gave me a hug and said Happy Birthday Dad. She was on my knee for about 30 seconds.

My partner was moody all evening and then shocked me by saying that this was because my daughter had sat on my knee. She said that this was abnormal and disgusting, that she thought it completely inappropriate for an adult woman to sit on my knee.

She went on to say that this made her feel sick and about to faint.

I am stunned by this reaction to something that I see as completely natural and not at all controversial.

At home I will often sit on the sofa next to my girls (16, 20+, 20+++) and put my arm around them. I have never for one second thought this inappropriate, nor have they.

Can I ask, does anyone think that it is inappropriate behaviour or disgusting?

Definitely LTB!

Spanielsarepainless · 11/04/2023 16:38

I'm 60 and still hug, kiss and cuddle my father. Your partner is being unreasonable, to put it mildly.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 11/04/2023 16:38

I'm 50 and still hug and kiss my Dad. Your partner has the issue not you or your daughter

raincamepouringdown · 11/04/2023 16:39

Dump the girlfriend. Seriously.

TheGuv1982 · 11/04/2023 16:39

Run a mile. She sounds utterly nuts.

QuintanaRoo · 11/04/2023 16:39

I would dump her ass for being so mardy and controlling……sounds like she’s jealous.

Comfies · 11/04/2023 16:40

You're fine. She's nuts

Glittertwins · 11/04/2023 16:41

I think your partner has a big problem!!

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