Page 7 | Would you get a night / baby nurse?

Newarea · 2023-04-11T00:04:37+00:00

If you could afford it / it was free. I think in theory I’d love it but in reality I’d feel guilty. Contemplating this as I head into another long newborn night! YABU - no YANBU - I would

TinaTotal · 11/04/2023 21:47

I have a friend who is a night nurse/sleep coach and she's very busy so clearly there is demand for this service.

My last baby was a lockdown baby so it never crossed my mind to get a night nurse but I think it's a great idea and if you can afford it why not!

OopsieOopsieDaisy · 11/04/2023 22:16

What they do varies , depending on your requirements. If you check out some agency websites (Google night nannies) they give a thorough run down of what they do.

If you just need the odd night of help, their goal is to get you some bloody sleep :) so they take good care of your baby while you try to sleep.

If you book a nanny for a more regular arrangement they can help you with sleep training if that’s something you’re interested in.

They should be very qualified and they can therefore also give you lots of advice.

Personally, I just needed the odd night of help and I wasn’t interested in sleep training.

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/04/2023 22:16

JRWM · 11/04/2023 21:24

How did you find someone for a short period? Also silly question - what did they actually do? I love the idea but wouldn’t know where to start with what they could do

I work via word of mouth and agencies plus childcare sites

Baby is always in with me

If mum is bf then when they wake I take to mum. She feeds. I do the rest so winding changing settling and mum goes to sleeps

If bottle so expressed milk or formula I do it all

justanotherdrama · 11/04/2023 23:30

If I could afford this then yes I would have done but no way was this possible for us!

Katey1980 · 12/04/2023 04:02

I have a 4 month old and maybe I am
lucky but have not found the nights that tough. She’s a good sleeper but also I never slept through the night before I had a baby and would be up 2-3 times anyway for various reasons so it’s not felt much different tbh.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 12/04/2023 17:22

I didn’t really struggle so much with the first few months of not sleeping, it was more the STILL NOT SLEEPING at 18 months, then at 3 years, then… wondering if it would ever actually end.

They’re now teens and my life is so much easier and happier.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 12/04/2023 17:24

I remember thinking it had got really bad when DH was falling asleep on the drive home from work. We had 3 non-sleepers at that point and it was quite desperate.

Two have since been diagnosed with ADHD which I suspect explains a lot.

parietal · 12/04/2023 17:42

Dsis had a night nurse for a few weeks - the nurse spent time cuddling the lovely baby while Dsis had to put on laundry and do the cooking! so the nurse was sacked a few weeks earlier than planned.

A 'mother's help' would be much more useful - someone who does all the other stuff in the house to allow the mother to concentrate on the baby.

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 17:44

parietal · 12/04/2023 17:42

Dsis had a night nurse for a few weeks - the nurse spent time cuddling the lovely baby while Dsis had to put on laundry and do the cooking! so the nurse was sacked a few weeks earlier than planned.

A 'mother's help' would be much more useful - someone who does all the other stuff in the house to allow the mother to concentrate on the baby.

the nurse spent time cuddling the lovely baby while Dsis had to put on laundry and do the cooking!
During the night? The clue is in the name with a night nurse.

shivawn · 12/04/2023 18:56

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 17:44

the nurse spent time cuddling the lovely baby while Dsis had to put on laundry and do the cooking!
During the night? The clue is in the name with a night nurse.

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I was wondering the same thing. The point of a night nurse is to sleep. Plenty time to throw on a load of laundry the next day when you're well rested.

jamsandwich1 · 12/04/2023 18:58

I really think I’d struggle with guilt and also I’d be worried about establishing supply. I still struggle with letting anyone do anything for me to help with my 2 and they’re 2.5 and 4 now! I don’t know why, I don’t judge anyone for doing it. I just feel like I should be there if they need me.

EssexMamisoa · 12/04/2023 19:00

Yanbu. Some people who say no May have a lot more support than you. I personally don’t mind the nights but wouldn’t mind help 7am onwards for a few hours. To either give me time to snooze in on the days I need it, or time to just shower etc. yes DH helps before anyone jumps down my throat but the juggling act with his work is still tiring!!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/04/2023 19:01

parietal · 12/04/2023 17:42

Dsis had a night nurse for a few weeks - the nurse spent time cuddling the lovely baby while Dsis had to put on laundry and do the cooking! so the nurse was sacked a few weeks earlier than planned.

A 'mother's help' would be much more useful - someone who does all the other stuff in the house to allow the mother to concentrate on the baby.

As a maternity nurse I am there to look after baby not to cook and do washing

Dustyblue · 13/04/2023 03:36

sykadelic · 11/04/2023 03:22

100% would. I had severe PPA including suicidal ideation. I wasn't able to sleep during the day due to a sleeping disorder and the PPA (I have so much to do, why am I sleeping). I only had 8 weeks off work (US based), and husband only had the week.

I would stand over my sons crib and sob about having "done this to us". I would have a panic attack at the slightest noise at night thinking he had woken up.

In the hospital I tried letting them take him to the nursery but the anxiety of being a "failure" and "needing help" was too much... as was the fact they were constantly in and out.

Id give myself way more grace a second time around (not that it's happening, DH had the snip).

FWIW once we found a schedule that worked it was much better. I just needed a good 5 hours, and I needed medication. So I went to bed at 7PM and husband stayed up till 10pm. Our son was usually asleep for the first long stretch at 9/10 so I could usually sleep till around 11/12. Made a WORLD of difference to my mental health.

This made me cry. You've explained almost exactly what I felt. Thanks so much for sharing this XXX

robinsnest1967 · 13/04/2023 04:08

I had a lovely temporary position with a newborn once where I got to the mums at 6pm - I cooked mum some dinner while she had a shower, then she went up to bed and I sat with the baby and fed, changed, burped until 2am. Whilst baby was asleep I would wash up, sort any baby bottles or baby laundry. At 2am or when baby woke around that time I would take it up to mum and leave. Mum had around 7 hours sleep and the rest of the night didnt seem so bad.

PeloMom · 13/04/2023 04:10

I did. I had a night nurse 4 nights a week, hubby did 2 nights and I did 1 night. This was for the first 4-5 months. She also helped establish good sleep habits etc.

summerhillgang · 13/04/2023 06:33

I am seriously considering this for my second as had really bad PND after my first. It's those first few weeks that killed me, not being able to recover, I just didn't sleep mainly due to anxiety.

I definitely want to breast feed but keep to get new baby info bottle with pumped milk asap. Do you think it's feasible?

Did anyone pump from the beginning? Can it cause over supply?

Emmamoo89 · 13/04/2023 08:35

summerhillgang · 13/04/2023 06:33

I am seriously considering this for my second as had really bad PND after my first. It's those first few weeks that killed me, not being able to recover, I just didn't sleep mainly due to anxiety.

I definitely want to breast feed but keep to get new baby info bottle with pumped milk asap. Do you think it's feasible?

Did anyone pump from the beginning? Can it cause over supply?

I don't think you can pump straight away. You need to breastfeed to establish what your baba will need.

LuckySantangelo35 · 13/04/2023 08:38

Why not??

all those going on about bonding and enjoying the baby cuddles. No one really wants to be cuddling a baby at 4am. Because
a) there are enough hours in the day for cuddles and more importantly b) you wanna be asleep
at 4am, it’s a biological imperative!

usernother · 13/04/2023 08:52

Hell yes. What an absolute luxury that would be.

cocksstrideintheevening · 13/04/2023 10:35

I was lucky in that Dts were mostly good sleepers, it was still a slog in the early days.

If they hadn't have slept relatively well hell yes I would. It's not bonding in the middle of the night dealing with two screaming babies needing to be fed, it's survival.

Ireolu · 13/04/2023 10:46

My friend had twins and she has a night nurse 2-3 times a week. Very expensive but it save her sanity. So yes I would, no judgement here.

Couldntgive2hoots · 13/04/2023 11:52

LuckySantangelo35 · 13/04/2023 08:38

Why not??

all those going on about bonding and enjoying the baby cuddles. No one really wants to be cuddling a baby at 4am. Because
a) there are enough hours in the day for cuddles and more importantly b) you wanna be asleep
at 4am, it’s a biological imperative!

Speak for yourself. I found the 4am cuddles the most precious. It feels like there's nobody else in the world, other than you and your baby. The silence except for the sweet sounds of your baby's breathing is rivelled by little else.
There's usually less time in the day for cuddles..because of the usual daily chores, other children to look after, other people /things that require attention. In the middle of the night, nobody/ nothing requires your attention other than your baby and its beautiful

Hellaboring · 13/04/2023 11:53

Couldntgive2hoots · 13/04/2023 11:52

Speak for yourself. I found the 4am cuddles the most precious. It feels like there's nobody else in the world, other than you and your baby. The silence except for the sweet sounds of your baby's breathing is rivelled by little else.
There's usually less time in the day for cuddles..because of the usual daily chores, other children to look after, other people /things that require attention. In the middle of the night, nobody/ nothing requires your attention other than your baby and its beautiful

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Nah, I could live without the 4am-ers, too.

LuckySantangelo35 · 13/04/2023 12:05

Couldntgive2hoots · 13/04/2023 11:52

Speak for yourself. I found the 4am cuddles the most precious. It feels like there's nobody else in the world, other than you and your baby. The silence except for the sweet sounds of your baby's breathing is rivelled by little else.
There's usually less time in the day for cuddles..because of the usual daily chores, other children to look after, other people /things that require attention. In the middle of the night, nobody/ nothing requires your attention other than your baby and its beautiful

Show quote history

@Couldntgive2hoots

yeah…

.I’d rather have sleep

😂