Would you get a night / baby nurse?

[Newarea]

If you could afford it / it was free.

I think in theory I’d love it but in reality I’d feel guilty. Contemplating this as I head into another long newborn night!

YABU - no
YANBU - I would

I would consider it if I had twins but I think I would feel anxious about leaving my baby overnight with a stranger and probably wouldn't get much sleep anyway.Otherwise with our first two dh did 3 nights a week and I did 4. With our current baby he had 8 weeks off and did every night wake up, I took over at 6am so we coped on our own.

I was a single mum to twins and got a night nanny.
Some nights I had been only getting 30 minutes sleep, so it was not sustainable to look after the twins on my own day and night. (It was also during lockdown, so no one could pop in to help).

I got a lovely maternity nurse. She came 10pm-7am a few nights a week. It was amazing to head off to bed, knowing they were being well looked after. It was also great having a nurse there, to ask about any little rash/ questions on feeding etc.

I'll assume you're doing your washing with a tub and mangle.

Why get shopping delivered, go and get it yourself, don't be so bloody lazy outsourcing everything.

My experience of having a night nurse was nearly 20 years ago. They are not a new invention.

20 years ago is recent
I'm talking about those who had no such luxuries, or those with multiple children who just got on with it despite, as @Duttercup says, only having a tub and mangle and no other 'mod cons'
And by the way @Duttercup , nothing wrong with a mangle and drying on a clothes line - in fact, vintage ones are going for several hundred quid, so your sarcasm doesn't really apply

@Backinntheroom I think my grandmothers definitely had it much harder. But they were the first to encourage me to outsource as much as possible because they knew it was hard. They survived of course but they didn't think it was easy.

My grandmother sent me money to get a cleaner and eat out once a week because it's what she wished she had had. I miss her.

What a lovely lady she sounded @Theelephantinthecastle !
Mine just taught me to use the mangle!!

Haha! Mine never met a mod con she didn't love.. She did a lot of (not always successful) microwave experiments...

@Theelephantinthecastle 😂

My ex MIL tried (several times) to make custard in a microwave (very early days of said little machines). It wasn't pretty...

And miss out on the 16 seasons of the deadly catch I got to watch in the wee small hours of the morning?? Never

Yes this.

Although I understand why someone with multiples and a toddler and their father working away/ not present for some reason would hire a night nurse.

I do believe that it's incredibly expensive and that they usually only do the newborn stage though, and that they may want to use their own methods rather than the mother's (I'm on an international/ English speaking parents in non English speaking country Facebook group where a couple of specialist maternity nurses/ night nannies advertise and I must admit they both seem to advertise how they'll "train" the babies using their own special methodology, which I wouldn't be comfortable with!)

No. I like to comfort my own babies at night. I wouldn’t like a stranger doing it.

What's that supposed to mean?

Night Nannies have been around forever, you know 😂

I'm 50 - I know that my mother put my sister in the pram in the garage overnight regularly because she was a terrible sleeper and cried at night.

She told me this in the context of advising me not to night parent poor sleepers essentially - and when I expressed shock said that what she did was fine because she did it so I could sleep (as a toddler) and because the garage was attached to the house.

I hate these ridiculous "how would anyone here have coped" posts partly because I know full well that a lot of the people who say it were pretty shitty parents themselves.

What's the relevance, anyway? I "coped" perfectly well.

I'd still have a night nanny if I was to go back and do it all over again. I don't really know why it didn't occur to me to do it then, tbh.

No, I absolutely loved night feeds, just me and him, completely silent, not distracted trying to hold everything together. Especially with my second, as was only a year between so days were hard having a 1 year old and a newborn:

Luckily the tiredness didn't affect me too much. Before kids I definitely needed my sleep but now I can function happily on very little.

You're being a bit blind-sided.

Of course there were families who couldn't afford night nannies. Just like these days.

But then again, just like current times, lots of people could, and can, afford help.

There is nothing wrong with having help. Don't look down your nose at people because they have the luxury of being able to afford more sleep than you.

Jealousy isn't a very good look.

If I could have afforded it then 100% yes. My first was a dream, my second had silent reflux and before we got ranitidine prescribed at 7 weeks old, the first 7 weeks were hell on earth. We had to do 2 hourly shifts as she just screamed all day and night. And the screaming was driving us both insane. Having a night nurse to just help at night would have been amazing.

Wow. That's harsh!

No because I was breast feeding and those night time feeds were important. But also I wouldn't sleep anyway if I thought my baby was crying.

I strongly believe we would have a much happier and healthier society if we could get rid of the perception that needing and receiving help is a weakness and thus stigmatised. Whether that be new mothers, parents at any stage, children, young people older people, whatever. My mother believed I should suffer as much as she had and sneered when I admitted to struggling. If my daughters have children I will offer whatever help I can because I love them and want them to be able to enjoy parenthood. I just hope they feel able to ask me not deemed inadequate.

Nope. Loved the newborn stage. Loved all the cuddles.

No, I would get help in other areas instead, so a cleaner etc to make my life easier.