To think some people don't realise

[CybermanAshad]

A few years ago we were a surviving on 30k as a household. It was tight but fine. That was one wage. I was a SAHP as it was cheaper than nursery fees.

We're a family of three with two cats. That's 2 adults and a 4 year old.

Now we have an income of just over 40k and things are harder than ever and we've never struggled so much. That's one wage, child benefit and a student maintenance loan.

We have £5 in the bank to last until 25th of the month. Some food but not much. Both cars need fuel. Before if things were tight there was always some way to get by. Small savings pot (under 1k) we also overpay into our bills account every month not much but would mean if things got tight there might be a spare £100 in there we could use.

Now we have no savings, no spare in the bills account. A combined over draft of £2000 now maxed.

Never thought I'd be wishing DC was back at school to benefit from the school dinner every day.

Desperately trying to get a job. Looking for something that pays about 20k. Would replace maintenance loan and give us 11k extra a year. So far all rejections.

Partner has also managed to get a job paying 8k more a year but doesn't start until May so won't see the benefit until the end of May.

Just feels relentless at the moment.

Saw a thread on here recently with lots of posters saying 85k was nothing in London and people on benefits had a ton of money and had no idea what it was like trying to survive on 85k with no help. I know it's bloody expensive in London but from my own perspective, 85k would be a dream. We don't qualify for benefits beside child benefit which is £87.20 every four weeks.

As I said, a few years ago we got by on 30k and now we're struggling on 40k.

AIBU to think some people don't understand that there's a huge middle section of people who don't recieve benefits but earn under 50k?

I imagine struggling a lot more than those on 85k.

What’s gone so wrong this month that you’re struggling for food for 10 days? Have you had an unexpected expense?

Cost of living is going up, we’re all feeling it. But it’s surprising that you have an extra £10K and are struggling so much that you’ve also got £2K overdraft debt if nothing else has changed at all for you. What’s the biggest expense, would you say - what’s changed so much?

Is the big change that you’re a student now so perhaps not entitled to any top-up benefits you were before?

We have never been entitled to any. We didn't receive any before and don't now.

Do you get too ups with universal credit? If so we are paying a subsidy for your low wages

We've been struggling for a while but used overdraft, and what was left of savings. Now, overdraft is maxed and savings have run out. That's what's changed this month.

Don't understand why you don't qualify for UC? My husband earns 45k a year and I get around £700 per month from UC. Cant afford nursery fees so I had to quit my full time job, then looked into if we'd qualify for UC and this is what we were awarded.
Our rent is £1250 a month if that makes any difference.

Sorry to hear that you're struggling, OP.

Hopefully when you have your qualification, you may be able to apply for higher paid roles? Hats off for studying with a small child. Not easy but very worthwhile.

In the meantime - could you do hospitality work in the evening?

Or babysitting work in the evenings, which would also allow you to study?

We are older and earn well, but when DC were small, i had weekend jobs to supplement my day jobs which did make a difference.

That'll be the difference. We have a mortgage. You don't get help with mortgage payments but do get help with rent.

Oh wow I didn't know that. So if you have a mortgage UC won't top up??? That seems unfair 😕

https://www.eon-uk-careers.com/en/eon-next.html

It’s really hard right now for lots of people. There is always something to buy and everything is so expensive. I do feel for you op.

Just an fyi, have you called job agencies? Lots are crying out for care staff. You would likely get a job easily.
Nurseries are short staffed at the moment and lots would allow you to take you dc for free or a reduced fee.
Loads of cafes and restaurants round here are looking for staff and I have seen lots of hospitality jobs advertised recently. Two of my family members have cleaning and construction companies are both a struggling for staff. There is work out there but you need to look. It won’t pay loads but it will be extra for food shops and you will still be able to study at night.

YANBU. It's really tough and if you look at the ONS real terms pay graphs it's very clear how pay has dropped over the last decade or so.

One thing I will point out though is a couple you are much better off than an individual. Earning 85k as a single person, for example, leaves you with loads less than a couple with the same household income. It's really frustrating

We bought this house 5.5 years ago with dh earning £33k and me on £17k part time (3dc). Now dh is on £65k but we can’t cover bills on that alone (I know because my current work is miserable and I wanted to quit but can’t afford to so have to stick it out while I apply elsewhere). I earn £45k so we’re on a good income but it doesn’t feel like we’re wealthy at all.

We have similar income in the SE and it is a struggle

. @LucifersLight Im also intrigued how you manage on £22k with a £700pcm housing bill - do you not get any help? My band c council tax is £200 a month which would leave about £600 for gas, water, electric, food, travel and usual life expenditure and I just can’t see how it’s possible nowadays. this month has seen 1 child need new school shoes and football boots, dentist for me and a hefty charge for hospital parking over a number of days)

Have you tried doing the Budget planner on MSE? It's surprising what that can show when you add in absolutely everything and can see exactly what you are spending money on.Budget Planner

We are household of 3 adults, 3 cats, dog, and some smaller animals and we only spend around £18k per year on all bills and essential payments including food. We have 2 cars and a mortgage of £550 a month. This figure doesn't include clothes or treats/holidays/days out.

We actually earn a lot more than that but we could live on £18k if we had to.

....and still be taking home a whole lot more after that tax.

Honestly, the 'we pay so much tax!' bleating from some makes everyone in this salary bracket look like tin-eared wankers.

Honestly, the 'we pay so much tax!' bleating from some makes everyone in this salary bracket look like tin-eared wankers.

Opposed to your boohooing?

So rude.

Which is bloody stupid because tax payers money is going straight to landlords but not the homeowners who live in their homes.

It’s all very messed up.

I object to looking like a tin-eared wanker by association. 😂 So if the bleaters would stop making the rest of us look bad, that'd be fab.

I do massively better and have a massively more comfortable life on a little over £85k, even in London, even with kids and all the rest of it, than people on less than half that. No boohooing from me, spiralling costs have made a difference to our standard of living but we have a fuckload more choices on how to deal with it than people on lower salaries. Despite all that tax...

Have you contacted mortgage provider to see if you can change payments to interest only

Agree with this. I'm a single parent and live on lower than this. Although I'm very frugal and have low housing costs. I still manage to clothe and feed my child,as well as run a car. Although we don't go any holidays, we still go nice days out and take advantage of local free stuff such as parks, local walks and we buy loads second hand. Enjoy my life and don't feel deprived.

Yes totally agree with that.

Our five year fixed term is up in November. Dreading it actually. Worried it'll go up by a few hundred a month. But we're definitely going to try and switch to interest only for a bit so hopefully that'll help counteract any increases.

I grew up in a household without much money. Not having much money meant I got used to things being that way, and I’m still trying to train myself out of it. Not having much money meant to me, as a kid, not having wallpaper on the walls or carpet on the floor, not having central heating, not having a bed frame, having one set of sheets so having to sleep without a cover for a few days every few months whilst they were washed and dried. Not having a sofa, we had cushions on the floor. Making putty out of flour, newspaper and water to stuff the cracks where the draughts were coming in. Getting a part time job as a young teen and using it to buy myself something for dinner most nights, which I would either eat in the park or hide when I got home in case my food was divided up between us. Not knowing that outdoor activities could be fun because not many are when you haven’t got a good coat or shoes, or a pair of gloves to play in the snow, or gardening gloves for outdoor jobs, or a pair of trainers for sport. Our house used to get broken into a lot and if we did have anything to steal it would be stolen.

When I had my first child, my household income was slightly over £9k a year, that was my full time wage. My housing cost was £635 a month. I got tax credits, child benefit and vouchers for vegetables. I was well used to cycling which bills to pay per month, I knew how far into arrears things could get and which ones not to pay when. Even then, bills like cars, childcare, student loans, any kind of insurance, pension contributions, etc, were for other peoples lives, as there was no way they could be afforded. I didn’t even get gas and electricity bills as all on prepay meter. I didn’t have heating or hot water. But I had shoes, carpets, two sets of sheets, and my house was never broken into.

Now with a household income of 30k+child benefit, I have more DC, I have a car, I have a house with heating and hot water, I have life insurance, I pay /all/ my bills every month. My DC have coats and suitable shoes for their activities. We eat pretty well and go on an occasional holiday. We are not rich, but I feel rich.

This was not about it being a race to the bottom but I just wanted to explore my instinctive reaction to your post when I read it so if you read this far, I apologise for my self indulgence.

How because we couldn't even pay the bills on 22k! And we don't have holidays either. Live in a standard terrace house in a pretty crappy area.