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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think some people don't realise

418 replies

CybermanAshad · 10/04/2023 17:54

A few years ago we were a surviving on 30k as a household. It was tight but fine. That was one wage. I was a SAHP as it was cheaper than nursery fees.

We're a family of three with two cats. That's 2 adults and a 4 year old.

Now we have an income of just over 40k and things are harder than ever and we've never struggled so much. That's one wage, child benefit and a student maintenance loan.

We have £5 in the bank to last until 25th of the month. Some food but not much. Both cars need fuel. Before if things were tight there was always some way to get by. Small savings pot (under 1k) we also overpay into our bills account every month not much but would mean if things got tight there might be a spare £100 in there we could use.

Now we have no savings, no spare in the bills account. A combined over draft of £2000 now maxed.

Never thought I'd be wishing DC was back at school to benefit from the school dinner every day.

Desperately trying to get a job. Looking for something that pays about 20k. Would replace maintenance loan and give us 11k extra a year. So far all rejections.

Partner has also managed to get a job paying 8k more a year but doesn't start until May so won't see the benefit until the end of May.

Just feels relentless at the moment.

Saw a thread on here recently with lots of posters saying 85k was nothing in London and people on benefits had a ton of money and had no idea what it was like trying to survive on 85k with no help. I know it's bloody expensive in London but from my own perspective, 85k would be a dream. We don't qualify for benefits beside child benefit which is £87.20 every four weeks.

As I said, a few years ago we got by on 30k and now we're struggling on 40k.

AIBU to think some people don't understand that there's a huge middle section of people who don't recieve benefits but earn under 50k?

I imagine struggling a lot more than those on 85k.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 12/04/2023 08:50

Single bus journeys are capped at £2 all over England atm.
As I travel by bus everywhere I get a weekly ticket -£13 currently.
That's £27 up on running a car for £40
£108 a month
Also if the car was sold it would hopefully pay off Ops OD.

@Hudsonriver

I don't understand your Maths. A weekly ticket for £13 is more than my £40 car.
Plus a bus doesn't even go on my route to work. The assett itself I agree could pay debt off but it's not a magic saving solution.

Teateaandmoretea · 12/04/2023 08:56

Single bus journeys are capped at £2 all over England atm.

😂😂

I have no idea if this true, when we used to have busses it was definitely more.

But most of the population don’t have easy access to busses that go where they want. We don’t have them at all.

sashh · 12/04/2023 09:03

Why have you not claimed the parent learning allowance?

Have you got your council tax discount? As a student you don't pay but as your DH isn't he does so you should get 50% knocked off the cost.

Have you opened a student bank account? Most have a free overdraft.

Access your university's hardship scheme or the student union loan, that one is usually interest free.

Riverlee · 12/04/2023 09:09

The bus cap is only until end of June.

IBJAS · 12/04/2023 09:33

There’s a lot of people making it work on way less. You definitely need to get rid of one of the cars. If my partner has our car and I need to get about I’ll just walk with the kids in the buggy. If it’s further afield possibly bus but I’d rather walk as free and healthy. I’ll admit as well the worse thing you could have done was get an overdraft because they’re hard to get out of. You need to pay it off fully which means for a few months or even over a year you’ll have less to live on because of this.
You should probably sit down with your partner and see what can cut out or what you might be ‘wasting’ on things that aren’t essential.
Also recommend contacting your local council to see if they have any schemes or what help is on offer. If you’re struggling that bad they might be able to refer you to a food bank or provide a small grant.

Hope things get better for you!

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 12/04/2023 09:40

I am shocked at that calculator. Putting in several of my friends income it has them in the top 5 percent on 90k household.

This is in the North. Loads of my friends are the same.

Guess there is wealth out there that isn't necessarily an income.

Rhodesiawassuper1972 · 12/04/2023 12:10

In exactly the same boat. Terrifying times now.

Issania87 · 12/04/2023 12:48

I think it's hard whatever you earn tbh. My hudband and I both earn good salaries but are paying £1500 in childcare and no longer get child benefit. So we don't have as much cash as you might think we do, especially now our mortgage and utilities have gone up.

That being said, I realise that we are incredibly privileged compared to other people's situations, and I honestly don't know how some people are coping with only 1 earner in the home or not working at all.

If you aren't having luck finding a job could you do some temping? I used to do it and found the flexibility and variety of roles great.

RockGirl · 12/04/2023 13:03

sashh · 12/04/2023 09:03

Why have you not claimed the parent learning allowance?

Have you got your council tax discount? As a student you don't pay but as your DH isn't he does so you should get 50% knocked off the cost.

Have you opened a student bank account? Most have a free overdraft.

Access your university's hardship scheme or the student union loan, that one is usually interest free.

This is not accurate.

Partner will get 25% off the council tax bill as student is disregraded, so they would need to pay 75% of the total.

Yoyo2021 · 12/04/2023 13:39

Boysnana · 12/04/2023 07:54

That sounds a very difficult situation OP. Sorry you are in it. A lot of others are but that doesn't help you.
Have you tried CAB they are good at looking at what help you can get or debt management.

I read you have cut back as far as possible but look again and see what you need and what you want. They are 2 different things.

I have no cooker at the moment but am lucky enough to have a garden. So I light a fire and cook on that. I don't mind. But for some it would be dire straights.

You can get a slow cooker for 20 pound or air fryer

Mollymoostoo · 12/04/2023 14:27

I was a single parent when I first went to uni. Worked in a takeaway at the weekends. Hated it but money is money

Hudsonriver · 12/04/2023 16:08

Teateaandmoretea · 12/04/2023 08:56

Single bus journeys are capped at £2 all over England atm.

😂😂

I have no idea if this true, when we used to have busses it was definitely more.

But most of the population don’t have easy access to busses that go where they want. We don’t have them at all.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/2-bus-fare-cap

Really have no idea why you are laughing?

In place until June.

£2 bus fare cap

A list of bus companies and bus routes included in the £2 bus fare cap scheme.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/2-bus-fare-cap

Hudsonriver · 12/04/2023 16:11

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 12/04/2023 08:50

Single bus journeys are capped at £2 all over England atm.
As I travel by bus everywhere I get a weekly ticket -£13 currently.
That's £27 up on running a car for £40
£108 a month
Also if the car was sold it would hopefully pay off Ops OD.

@Hudsonriver

I don't understand your Maths. A weekly ticket for £13 is more than my £40 car.
Plus a bus doesn't even go on my route to work. The assett itself I agree could pay debt off but it's not a magic saving solution.

Aaah ok I thought it was per week.
It's £40 a month?
Does that include petrol, road tax, insurance and servicing though?

11inch · 12/04/2023 16:18

If only public transport ran between 2 places at times you wanted it to at reasonable cost. For vast swathes of the country this doesn't happen. Walking isn't the answer either when it is 2 plus miles on national speed limit roads with no footpath.

I sympathize OP, you made decisions a few years ago that seemed rational and now foreseeable circumstances have taken over. Of course people will tell you that you should have predicted the C of L crisis/ pandemic/ war in Ukraine. However if we were all that cautious there would be very little economic growth.

Whippetlovely · 12/04/2023 16:22

It’s £2 capped just until June this is single trip so return is £4. Still cheap at the moment but it’s not going to be like that for long. I do not consider having a car a ‘luxury’ if people live in rural areas they need a car, transport is not reliable and even if you live in a city trains are unreliable and expensive. Not having a car will limit her job opportunities.

Maple2023 · 12/04/2023 16:39

Whippetlovely · 12/04/2023 16:22

It’s £2 capped just until June this is single trip so return is £4. Still cheap at the moment but it’s not going to be like that for long. I do not consider having a car a ‘luxury’ if people live in rural areas they need a car, transport is not reliable and even if you live in a city trains are unreliable and expensive. Not having a car will limit her job opportunities.

I'm not even rural and couldn't get a bus to work Grin
Well I could but I would have to get a bus from my house to the bus station, then another from the bus station to work then a 10 min walk
Total travel time around 90 mins and I live 3.5 miles from work

There's an Aldi 2 miles from me, again no direct route so it's into town (town is the opposite direction from work and Aldi) and back out
It's ridiculous having to go 5 miles in the wrong direction to come back on yourself

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 12/04/2023 16:45

Aaah ok I thought it was per week.
It's £40 a month?
Does that include petrol, road tax, insurance and servicing though?

£200 insurance
£50 MOT
£10 petrol

If I have the money could add another £100 for service. Granted there is a risk of maintenance from the MOT.

A bus does not go my route and I have equipment to carry sometimes. So even with this it wouldn't be much for the wxtra mental stress and hassle it would cause me to get the bus.

MoggyMittens23 · 12/04/2023 16:54

HistoryFanatic · 12/04/2023 08:06

I suspect so. OP doesn't seem that worried.

You would spend half of your last £5 on your cats? I feel sorry for your son tbh. You, not so much.

WhatHoJeeves · 12/04/2023 17:17

Oh dear God, some people are willfully stupid. Not everyone can just 'get rid of a car'. I really, really wish we could have one car as it would same us a lot of money.

We live in a tiny hamlet. It's about 3-4 miles down a very steep hill with no pavements and speeding traffic to the nearest place with bus routes to local towns. We do have buses through our village - two per week.

My husband needs a car for work and I need a car for work. Without 2 cars, one of us could not get to work.

mydogisthebest · 12/04/2023 17:55

All the posters bleating on about getting rid of one of the cars have no idea. In many areas 2 cars are needed.

Where I live there are very few buses and they take forever to get to the nearest town which is 6 miles away as they go through lots of other villages.

As for walking children to school, quite a few of the children in my village go to the school in town which, as I said, is 6 miles away.

Hudsonriver · 12/04/2023 18:32

Getting the bus was a suggestion
Obviously if you live up Mount Etna with no other transport it's not aimed at you is it?
Stop sneering at people trying to help.

The Op is in pretty dire straits with a 2K OD on about 2.7K salary and student loan.
They cannot meet their monthly outgoings if they have already used up 1K savings and 2K OD.
It's clear from the laughter at my saying most single bus fares are £2 in England currently that few people know about this or the NHS discount many Trusts are giving.

All the best Op
Hope things improve for you.

2to5 · 12/04/2023 19:10

I agree completely, I think the government calculaate a minimum needed to survive on and the benefits kick in at that threshold but I think the threshold for universal credit should be amended to reflect the new situation to help all of us in the middle ground that are struggling

WhatHoJeeves · 12/04/2023 19:34

Hudsonriver · 12/04/2023 18:32

Getting the bus was a suggestion
Obviously if you live up Mount Etna with no other transport it's not aimed at you is it?
Stop sneering at people trying to help.

The Op is in pretty dire straits with a 2K OD on about 2.7K salary and student loan.
They cannot meet their monthly outgoings if they have already used up 1K savings and 2K OD.
It's clear from the laughter at my saying most single bus fares are £2 in England currently that few people know about this or the NHS discount many Trusts are giving.

All the best Op
Hope things improve for you.

I apologise if I seemed to be sneering. I think if money is that tight and getting rid of a car was an option, the OP would have done so; in fact, she has said more than once that they need both cars. Having one car and using the bus is a good idea if it is feasible but a number of posters were suggesting that the OP was being ridiculous to have two cars, without considering that for some people that is the only - if expensive - option.

Hudsonriver · 12/04/2023 19:44

WhatHoJeeves · 12/04/2023 19:34

I apologise if I seemed to be sneering. I think if money is that tight and getting rid of a car was an option, the OP would have done so; in fact, she has said more than once that they need both cars. Having one car and using the bus is a good idea if it is feasible but a number of posters were suggesting that the OP was being ridiculous to have two cars, without considering that for some people that is the only - if expensive - option.

Thanks @WhatHoJeeves

I do understand what you are saying, all my colleagues said they must have a car but actually there is zero parking now at my Trust and so they swapped to PT 🤦‍♂️
It's obviously up to the Op.
My parents only had one car, she dropped him at work then drove us to school near her work place.
They simply couldn't afford 2 cars back then.
It was just a suggestion as Op is heading for disaster with only £5 for the next 13 days.

HistoryFanatic · 12/04/2023 19:53

MoggyMittens23 · 12/04/2023 16:54

You would spend half of your last £5 on your cats? I feel sorry for your son tbh. You, not so much.

I wouldn't obviously?