To think some people don't realise

[CybermanAshad]

A few years ago we were a surviving on 30k as a household. It was tight but fine. That was one wage. I was a SAHP as it was cheaper than nursery fees.

We're a family of three with two cats. That's 2 adults and a 4 year old.

Now we have an income of just over 40k and things are harder than ever and we've never struggled so much. That's one wage, child benefit and a student maintenance loan.

We have £5 in the bank to last until 25th of the month. Some food but not much. Both cars need fuel. Before if things were tight there was always some way to get by. Small savings pot (under 1k) we also overpay into our bills account every month not much but would mean if things got tight there might be a spare £100 in there we could use.

Now we have no savings, no spare in the bills account. A combined over draft of £2000 now maxed.

Never thought I'd be wishing DC was back at school to benefit from the school dinner every day.

Desperately trying to get a job. Looking for something that pays about 20k. Would replace maintenance loan and give us 11k extra a year. So far all rejections.

Partner has also managed to get a job paying 8k more a year but doesn't start until May so won't see the benefit until the end of May.

Just feels relentless at the moment.

Saw a thread on here recently with lots of posters saying 85k was nothing in London and people on benefits had a ton of money and had no idea what it was like trying to survive on 85k with no help. I know it's bloody expensive in London but from my own perspective, 85k would be a dream. We don't qualify for benefits beside child benefit which is £87.20 every four weeks.

As I said, a few years ago we got by on 30k and now we're struggling on 40k.

AIBU to think some people don't understand that there's a huge middle section of people who don't recieve benefits but earn under 50k?

I imagine struggling a lot more than those on 85k.

@CybermanAshad I am posting this link.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/money-matters/4759761-ways-to-supplement-your-income?reply=124671720

A MN poster kindly wrote this post and I think it is so helpful where even an extra £100 would make a difference.

I am amazed you can't find work.

I could take you down my High St- small town in the SE- and almost every shop or cafe or bar is asking for staff. Our local pubs are opening on reduced hours as they can't get staff.

You could do evening work, or a few hours a day in a supermarket.

I genuinely do not understand why you can't find some kind of work.

You won't earn a fortune but even a few hours a week on a minimum wage would help.

Have you actually walked the high st where you are and looked or asked about vacancies?

SIL has no idea. Never paid rent or utilities, moved out last year at the tender age of 55, straight into boyfriend’s house. Fully owned, mortgage paid off and he’s paying all the bills. Always worked FT. She thinks people are being over dramatic if they say they can’t afford XYZ.

Where i live in the arse end of nowhere, (not by choice by birth, and I can’t afford to leave, because I got a job when I left school and haven’t been able to relocate ) 2 cars is a necessity- public transport is shite, and you can’t get to work, drop kids in school etc etc without.

How much are your mortgage and bills roughly? We earn about £47k as a family of four (one DC in school and one not yet) and we muddle along OK, we save a small amount every month. We are in the home counties so not the cheapest area

This post is called to think people don’t realise but I think it’s you that dosent realise you have lots of options having a partner you can work weekends or evenings when your partner isn’t working just for a bit of extra income to do the nice extras.

I manage to work full time, sometimes over time if offered and even do odd evening working from home
work when it’s available! Like I say we also have no pets and I got rid of the car or any benefits bar child benefit and I’m on my own !!!

Your child is suffering when this could be easily improved by taking a small job cleaning perhaps and getting rid of your car!

it’s just the way it is you have to work and get on with it nothing will change otherwise.

Most people would dream of £500 a month mortgage/rent these days! That's Y2K price levels. That's why you're all right, Jack

You made the choice not to work. Few households can survive these days comfortably on one wage unless it's a good one.

The title is a bit of a slap in the face to single parents tbh who have no options to do work outside their dps hours of work so have to make do. The OP has ignored all my posts though, I'm sure it's because as a single parent earning what a couple were "surviving" on I don't fit the poor married me narrative of struggling. Life can be tough when kids are small so you have to do a bit extra to make ends meet, even if that means evening and weekend work for a while cleaning or supermarkets.

I've been job hunting for a few months now and not had any luck. I've applied for jobs I'm qualified for, under qualified for and over qualified for and had 0 luck with any. I find this very hard to believe. Where I live there are businesses crying out for staff, particularly in the hospitality industry.

So you've played the mummy card when you could have been working then gone to uni. If your child is now in school you have basically been lazy for years. That's why you are struggling. Own goal OP. So many women making this same mistake. Depressing as hell

It is VERY privileged to choose not to work...... At all.... No nights.... No evenings.... Nothing

Do you have no other means of income? I think a lot of people like to brandish a low salary, but don’t account for the cumulative financial easement in things like child benefit, free school meals, subsidised food from a work place, dla, pip, carers allowance etc etc.

£20,000 a year here. No housing cost, which is basically how we manage. Child benefit, nothing else from your list, though we need to see if we can get DLA for DS.

Y2K levels? My mortgage is 500 a month and we bought our first house 4 years ago, just deliberately didn’t overstretch ourselves.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs?keywords=Remote

Remote, hybrid and office based roles available in the charity sector.

Op do you have a community fridge near you? The one where its all about zero food waste rather than helping the poor. We use it because its awful how food is wasted by supermarkets etc and it's doing something positive, but it also cut our food bill by £15/20 a week. Sometimes by a lot more.

I hear you. It's hard being in that squeezed middle and I now realise why my mum was so bitter as a working adult as she and my dad were on minimum wage and with a mortgage and really struggled.
Could you start as a cleaner on your own? If you're good and can start right away you would get some fast cash. I really feel for you

I agree, OP. It's tough on everyone who is relatively low wage but not on benefits cos you have to pay for everything from your income.

I'm sending good luck with job search - any minimum wage job will pay c£20k for full time hours so don't limit what you're looking at.

I am sorry OP, it really is a miserable existence.

The only suggestion I can add is could your children share a bedroom or even more into your bedroom with you and DH? Thus leaving a room or two free for lodgers. It is far from ideal I know but could see you through the next year until you graduate.

I hope things get better for you.

And in the very vast majority both (rent and mortgage payments) end up in the the pockets of banks.
What’s your point?

I agree. We struggled through the childcare years with 3 children. We could afford them, just, but there was a time when our childcare bill was way more than double our mortgage. There was no way I'd have given up work, even though it didn't make a lot of financial sense, but I had a decent job throughout, I was accumulating a pension, work paid for me to do further qualifications, and I had a small bit over.

@CybermanAshad you need to find a p/t job in the evenings or something. There's plenty of even min wage jobs around. You just need to bring in more money for now. I don't think you have any choice. Maybe you and your DH could both work p/t additional hours for now, just to get through. We had a tough time at one stage where DH and I both worked full-time and he had 2 p/t jobs and we got through it. Needs must.

I'm fortunate to have really low housing costs. I overpaid my mortgage for years before my son was born. I now only pay around £250 a month. It's a small home in a crapp y area too. Nothing in my house is new, but I appreciate all that I have and try to make the best of things. I don't drink, smoke or have any expensive hobbies. I grow my own veg and don't waste anything. I try to make as homely as possible with what I already have.I spent a lot less on things for myself but feels it has enabled me to appreciate what I do have. I buy many of my sons Xmas gifts secondhand. For example, a Lego set worth £220 that I bought for 12.50 and buying off season means you can Xmas things 50% off. I'm also fortunate that I have a bit of flexibility and don't have to pay much for childcare.I also look around for bargains, picked my son new school shoes for £25 instead of retail of £50. I set a budget for everything, I menu plan and use everything up. £35 a week food budget. I buy food in season and look for bargains. I bulk bu y things like toilet roll and laundry powder as cheaper, use a lot of own basic brands. I bought fleece pyjamas, brushed cotton sheets and got got water bottles (in sales) to reduce the amount of times I put on the heating. I buy books, games and toys from charity shops. When we go out I also keep cheap snacks in the car, take our own bottles of water or diluting juice. This might seem a bit extreme, but this has enabled me to afford to pay off my bills and live well. My son loves a good rummage around car boot sales and doesn't care that his stuff isn't new. Do loads of free stuff, meeting family for picnics, nature walks and park. I cut my own hair, it's not perfect but I don't care, saves me £40. I plan ahead, budget for everything and use everything to its falling apart. I don't care that I don't have expensive stuff, I'd rather have old stuff than be in debt.

What about clothing and shoes, vets bills, car servicing, new tyres, replacement of white goods, house maintenance, TV licence, eye tests, prescriptions, plumber/gas engineer, pension etc etc, all essentials?