To think some people don't realise

[CybermanAshad]

A few years ago we were a surviving on 30k as a household. It was tight but fine. That was one wage. I was a SAHP as it was cheaper than nursery fees.

We're a family of three with two cats. That's 2 adults and a 4 year old.

Now we have an income of just over 40k and things are harder than ever and we've never struggled so much. That's one wage, child benefit and a student maintenance loan.

We have £5 in the bank to last until 25th of the month. Some food but not much. Both cars need fuel. Before if things were tight there was always some way to get by. Small savings pot (under 1k) we also overpay into our bills account every month not much but would mean if things got tight there might be a spare £100 in there we could use.

Now we have no savings, no spare in the bills account. A combined over draft of £2000 now maxed.

Never thought I'd be wishing DC was back at school to benefit from the school dinner every day.

Desperately trying to get a job. Looking for something that pays about 20k. Would replace maintenance loan and give us 11k extra a year. So far all rejections.

Partner has also managed to get a job paying 8k more a year but doesn't start until May so won't see the benefit until the end of May.

Just feels relentless at the moment.

Saw a thread on here recently with lots of posters saying 85k was nothing in London and people on benefits had a ton of money and had no idea what it was like trying to survive on 85k with no help. I know it's bloody expensive in London but from my own perspective, 85k would be a dream. We don't qualify for benefits beside child benefit which is £87.20 every four weeks.

As I said, a few years ago we got by on 30k and now we're struggling on 40k.

AIBU to think some people don't understand that there's a huge middle section of people who don't recieve benefits but earn under 50k?

I imagine struggling a lot more than those on 85k.

Just don't give up your studies! Take the short term pain for the long term gain! I'd start looking at your utilities/bills and see where you can save there. I just got my broadband reduced from £47 to £28 through a bit of haggling. It's always a great place to start looking at where you can save as it all adds up! Even TV subscriptions, I never have them all at the same time (Netflix/Now TV/Prime/Disney plus etc) but choose one based on what's on it that month. I also only ever use Vinted or Marketplace for stuff and never buy new. People sell boots worth £££s on there they've worn once for under a tenner!

Because they are? I rescued them 8 years ago. They're part of the family. I'd spend half of that £5 on them if I needed too!

İf you're struggling that much your university with have a support fund for students who are struggling. You can take a hardship loan, interest free or apply for a one off grant.

Yes I agree!

I'm a single mum already trying to get by on a 18k income and starting uni in September. I have no idea how I will manage. I have a health condition that will prevent me from working a lot of hours in addition to my placement and uni hours. My eldest child will prevent me from receiving support from the council. I don't really know how many people can and will continue to manage. I have always been frugal but now I'm having to use community shops to manage with food and I'm fortunate I have a friend that gives me food to keep us topped up but without these I wouldn't be eating. I genuinely worry about those that are unseen, going cold and hungry.

You have a child and you’d prefer to spend your last £5 on your cat?! You are entirely unreasonable. If I’d been even close to not being able to comfortably support my family, my animals would be the first thing to go. Months ago in your case. I am really struggling with the position you’ve got yourself in, you have done things an unconventional way round, but you need to put your child first.

Go back to our grandparents time when families had to manage on rations during the war. Somehow they all managed it. Go back to basics. and stop complaining.

I don't know if any of this will help, but it might for someone and sorry if I am repeating any of the previous advice. Food Pantries (different to food banks and are usually self-referral) - you pay a sub of £5 a week and can get £15 / £20 of food a week and even small savings start to help; is there one local to you? Social tariffs for bills - have you asked your supplier if you qualify, same goes for re-negotiating any phone or tv contracts. Can you move your overdraft to an interest free credit cards? Welfare funds via educational establishment - have you asked for help? Has anyone assisted you with job applications or a CV? There are a great many voluntary agencies and job clubs that will help. Have you considered weekend work, as sometimes the hourly rates are better and with a car you could certainly consider care work as an option, with agencies / companies crying out for people. https://www.turn2us.org.uk/ is a good place to look for advice.

It's getting much more common to study in your 30s and 40s nowadays, either due to not doing well back at school and wanting to increase your earning potential, finally figuring out what you want to do in life, or having a change of/second career.

Not many people leave school, go to university, get a job in the field and do that for life. Things have definitely changed and it's a good thing, especially for women. No longer expected to just get a job for pin money after they have a child and a partner.

Animals are an expense but are also a great joy to people's lives. Mine help combat any loneliness my mental health so wouldn't be the first thing to go. Saying that comes across as though an animal is disposable when actually they are part of the family. I'd be looking at other ways, such as cutting bills/utilities if that's an option before getting rid of a pet that's part of the family.

Why are you running 2 cars ?

The reality is that most people live exactly to their means so if the costs go up they struggle.

People should aim to be able to save some money every month when times are good so that they have something to fall back on when times get hard.

I earn £20k plus £4K with london weighting, My mortgage has gone up by over £150 in the past six months, my council tax bill is £187 a month. My DC are over eighteen now and I am not entitled to any benefits.

Likely the places I’m not spending money are that I don’t have a car and I don’t have to pay childcare costs. Because those are the places where the majority spends are.

Netflix, amazon prime, now TV any other subscription services are luxuries and if you can’t afford them then you shouldn’t have them.

If things really are that tight that you’re not able to feed your kids then you firstly need to look t what you’re paying for that you don’t need, and if there genuinely is nothing you can cut back on, (can not don’t want to) then you need to rehome the cats, because you simply can’t afford them, and as much as we love our animals, putting animals above the welfare of your children just isn’t on.

Sorry if anyone else suggested this because I've only read page 1, but you should contact Citizens Advice who have advisers who specialize in "income maximisation". For instance they could check if what you said about UC is correct.

Many local authorities currently have a fuel fund to support households energy bills costs, so you may be entitled to that if you're struggling. Again Citizens Advice should know about this.

Yes I agree. Our wages are £10k more than 5 years ago but we seem to be worse off now than ever before. No benefits and we both work super hard for our money (which we never seem to have any). Before people have a go at me… I have been unemployed and on benefits in the past so I know what it’s like.

How do people get so much money on UC?? It seems an insane amount of money and encourages people not to work!!! I get no benefits at all and both of us work full time and get no help.

Get rid of your cat… then all your money problems will go away.

Honestly what a silly response.

YANBU to think some people don’t have a clue, that said I do feel some focus too much on the number and not the situation.

I’m a doctor, I earn £100000, and am grateful for it. When I started my medical journey I was given to believe that as I progressed through the ranks and when I eventually completed my training I would live in this kind of house in that part of town and drive this sort of car. So that’s what my family and I did. We took out mortgages and loans and agreed to pay them back over time, usually secured against future income.

Now things have changed, as they have for everybody (and I’m not trying to pretend for a second that our situation is as challenging as it is for so many others), and we cannot afford our lives. Technically we earn more than we did five years ago but we are no longer able to live in our house of ten years, we have changed our cars, we don’t have hobbies, holidays or meals out. What comes in goes out again immediately and we are close to defaulting on some debt.

I continue to consider myself very fortunate, and am markedly aware of how much more challenging life is for others, nevertheless I do believe that in discussions such as these it is worth remembering that most families live within their means and match income to expenditure regardless of what that income may be. Almost nobody has ‘spare’ money.

I do have sympathy with the OPs position but also with those who are struggling on higher wages. It’s not the wage that’s crippling people, it’s the commitments made when the wage itself was worth more. Perhaps this is all due to poor financial planning on my part, highly likely in fact, but from the day I first went to university I accrued debt with the expectation and indeed promise that my future earnings would adequately compensate.

Or perhaps I’m blinded by middle-class privilege, if so I apologise.

Well I have a disabled DH, a DD awaiting a kidney transplant and she's not working.. and I work part time.. we survive on just under £20k.. but that's with no holidays.. no smoking.. no drinking.. and 1 car.. times are hard and sacrifices have to be made.. but it can be done.. check your budgeting and get rid of everything that isn't a necessity.. we threw out our virgin tv sub, our home phone, downgraded mobiles to sim only packages.. it's hard out there.. and every penny counts.. I hope you get things sorted

I’m intrigued by this. How would a single person be worse off? There is one less one person to feed, cloth, car etc?

This time 18 months ago, I was working as a carer, 25 hours a week. Husband was working F/T. Between us, we came home with roughly £3k a month. Luckily, no mortgage.

Since then, I've had a stroke and have now got Vasculitis in my legs and feet, so am not fit to work. He's got heart failure but no treatment yet. He's on £99 a week SSP, has already been off work 3 months. I get £360 a month PIP, and he gets a private pension of £900 a quarter. Because of that, we're not entitled to UC or anything else. We got about £3k savings, which is dwindling away, and our DDs have all gone up (like everyone else's). We're in our 60s, not old enough for a pension but not fit enough to work.

They pay the whole cost of rent or mortgage - always the largest outgoing for anyone who has to fund a home

Although I genuinely sympathise with your circumstances, I don't think that you are really being fair here. The cost of living is hugely variable across the UK.

If you look at this comparison between standard cost of living (Doncaster for example & London)
https://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/compare_cities.jsp?country1=United+Kingdom&country2=United+Kingdom&city1=Doncaster&city2=London

Standard monthly cost of living in Doncaster is £2,600 equates. That's take home for a £40k wage+ child benefit £200 a month.

However, in London the £4,682 is take home for £85k, which is actually £900 under the same standard cost of living for London, with

So that leaves someone in Doncaster on £40k with £200 a month over standard cost of living (+ your maintenance loan and anything you can earn in the 3 months holiday) but the Londoner on £85k is £900 under.

Oh gosh that sounds awful for you. It's also sad that his private pension means you get no help and makes a complete mockery of what we're all told... work hard and you'll be better off! It seems the less you work, the less you pay in means you might be better off and saving into a private pension could end up screwing you over which is opposite of what it should do! Why are we all bothering?

I really feel for you OP, it sounds like you're doing everything you can to make ends meet.

Having temporarily moved to the UK for work 18 months ago i was staggered by, and some of the comments on this thread reinforce, the perplexing British mentality of the race to the bottom. Living shouldn't be a competition in poverty. I find the low wages and high cost of living anywhere in the UK shocking. My quality of life has severely dropped since moving here (temporarily) even though I'm well paid and have savings so i can only imagine how difficult it is for you.

Unfortunately it doesn't look like things will be changing anytime soon here, the UK probably won't be prosperous for at least 2 more decades.

Like other posters have said, you made a choice not to work and be a SAHM, which many of us would really like to do if we have the choice but cannot afford to. I worked all the way through when my four DC were young (albeit part time) and was barely breaking even when childcare costs were added in, but it was an investment in the future and meant that I had continuity of employment and promotions which mean I am now comfortable. We couldn’t afford two cars. Sorry to be harsh but we all live by the choices we make.

I do think a lot of people with lots of money (like my in-laws) don’t really understand how much some people do struggle.

2 cars is a luxury even if you own them outright - you’ve still got to pay road tax, insurance, repairs and fuel. I didn’t have a car when my first one was little- husband worked 45 miles away and used the car for that. Do you need a car if you don’t work?

I needed a job and started up as a cleaner. Not ideal but the money is amazing and I need to be around for school runs with h working full time so I just do 6 hours a day. It was meant to be a stop gap but it’s been a good few years now.