Page 13 | To think some people don't realise

CybermanAshad · 2023-04-10T16:54:09+00:00

A few years ago we were a surviving on 30k as a household. It was tight but fine. That was one wage. I was a SAHP as it was cheaper than nursery fees. We're a family of three with two cats. That's 2 adults and a 4 year old. Now we have an income of just over 40k and things are harder than ever and we've never struggled so much. That's one wage, child benefit and a student maintenance loan. We have £5 in the bank to last until 25th of the month. Some food but not much. Both cars need fuel. Before if things were tight there was always some way to get by. Small savings pot (under 1k) we also overpay into our bills account every month not much but would mean if things got tight there might be a spare £100 in there we could use. Now we have no savings, no spare in the bills account. A combined over draft of £2000 now maxed. Never thought I'd be wishing DC was back at school to benefit from the school dinner every day. Desperately trying to get a job. Looking for something that pays about 20k. Would replace maintenance loan and give us 11k extra a year. So far all rejections. Partner has also managed to get a job paying 8k more a year but doesn't start until May so won't see the benefit until the end of May. Just feels relentless at the moment. Saw a thread on here recently with lots of posters saying 85k was nothing in London and people on benefits had a ton of money and had no idea what it was like trying to survive on 85k with no help. I know it's bloody expensive in London but from my own perspective, 85k would be a dream. We don't qualify for benefits beside child benefit which is £87.20 every four weeks. As I said, a few years ago we got by on 30k and now we're struggling on 40k. AIBU to think some people don't understand that there's a huge middle section of people who don't recieve benefits but earn under 50k? I imagine struggling a lot more than those on 85k.

whatkatydid2013 · 11/04/2023 21:46

Dyerun · 10/04/2023 21:39

Don't you think most of us would rather have a mortgage than be paying off someone else's by paying the extortionate private rental prices? Unfortunately for a lot of us it's never been within reach. Of course UC shouldn't be given to help pay your mortgage. If it bothers you people that much sell up and rent....no didn't think so 🤔

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This makes little sense to me. You are ok with tax revenue being used to pay private landlords to own a second home but not to pay individuals to own a first one?

Hudsonriver · 11/04/2023 21:49

What has happened to your outgoings Op that you are struggling on 10K more?
Have used your savings and in OD?

Even with all the price rises surely its not 10K more expensive?
Do you have additional debt?
Perhaps post your outgoings?
Usually lots of help on here

Jeclop · 11/04/2023 21:49

Flubadubba · 11/04/2023 18:46

However for your London comment YABU. 85k in London, with a medium sized family, is a struggle. You're looking at around £200k+ to be OK in "inner" London. By inner, I don't mean Zone 1, you'd need a much higher salary to live in Zone 1. I'd say zones 2-3 or 4.
It's not just the rents that are higher. It's nursery fees, school clubs, birthday parties, restaurants, the list is endless. Anything that can be more expensive, generally is.

The residential part of zone 3 here, and agree to some degree, though I would say you can be OK on c120k quite easily. That said, we don't live in a super glam part.

Yes, it will be very much dependent on area, family size, etc. But I was taking this as an average. The average house where we live will set you back between 1.5 and 8 million - zone 2 that has relatively recently been "gentrified". We are not in a "super posh area". We are completely priced out and earn over 85k.

Babyroobs · 11/04/2023 21:53

SeeWhatYouGetWhenYouAskAStupidQuestion · 11/04/2023 21:26

This time 18 months ago, I was working as a carer, 25 hours a week. Husband was working F/T. Between us, we came home with roughly £3k a month. Luckily, no mortgage.

Since then, I've had a stroke and have now got Vasculitis in my legs and feet, so am not fit to work. He's got heart failure but no treatment yet. He's on £99 a week SSP, has already been off work 3 months. I get £360 a month PIP, and he gets a private pension of £900 a quarter. Because of that, we're not entitled to UC or anything else. We got about £3k savings, which is dwindling away, and our DDs have all gone up (like everyone else's). We're in our 60s, not old enough for a pension but not fit enough to work.

I think you have been very wrongly informed about not being eligible for UC. You would need to make a claim and hand in sick notes. You may not receive anything initially but once you have been assessed for work capability and hopefully awarded LCWRA element then that would then give you a work allowance meaning a proportion of your dh's earnings would be disregarded before deductions occur. You would very likely qualify if he continues on ssp only even despite the private pension being taken off in full. If you get PIP daily living then your husband could also claim the carers element. I would suggest speaking to CAB por the UC help to claim team who operate through CAB and get a calculation done based on receiving the LCWRA element and the carers element. I do benefit checks for many couples in a similar situation to yours and even if the working partner gets around £1200- £1500 a month they still qualify once that LCWRA element is in place. Please do get someone to double check.

Jeclop · 11/04/2023 21:55

Bluebellwood129 · 11/04/2023 18:39

As an example, a Sunday roast in my local pubs is anything between £18-30 per person. This is for the roast alone.

I live in the North West and that's fairly standard for a decent roast.

Fair enough. I stand corrected. My point was that you can't find anything below that but perhaps that's the case UK wide, in which case I am wrong on this point.

allmyliesaretrue · 11/04/2023 21:55

Kaiserchief · 11/04/2023 21:45

I do think a lot of people with lots of money (like my in-laws) don’t really understand how much some people do struggle.

2 cars is a luxury even if you own them outright - you’ve still got to pay road tax, insurance, repairs and fuel. I didn’t have a car when my first one was little- husband worked 45 miles away and used the car for that. Do you need a car if you don’t work?

I needed a job and started up as a cleaner. Not ideal but the money is amazing and I need to be around for school runs with h working full time so I just do 6 hours a day. It was meant to be a stop gap but it’s been a good few years now.

I've always had a brand new or nearly new car. Oldest car I ever had before was 6. However, with kids learning to drive/not using the car half as much since lockdown and wfh, I find myself with a 12 year old car that's actually not causing me any issues. It's grand for my newly qualified driver and it does the job for me. Needs must.

pinkshoes87 · 11/04/2023 21:59

Full time NHS and I earn 28k with 2 kids and a mortgage of 530. I have a 14 year old car I own outright.

It is a huge struggle. even with tax credits (which is not much as I had an "overpayment" which I couldn't dispute long story!") it is not enough.

I have no savings and live pay cheque to pay cheque.

I don't think 30k is a good income in this climate.

6 years ago we lived on my husbands 30k salary just fine... then he passed away and I earn only 28...times have sure changed.

allmyliesaretrue · 11/04/2023 22:02

Babyroobs · 11/04/2023 21:53

I think you have been very wrongly informed about not being eligible for UC. You would need to make a claim and hand in sick notes. You may not receive anything initially but once you have been assessed for work capability and hopefully awarded LCWRA element then that would then give you a work allowance meaning a proportion of your dh's earnings would be disregarded before deductions occur. You would very likely qualify if he continues on ssp only even despite the private pension being taken off in full. If you get PIP daily living then your husband could also claim the carers element. I would suggest speaking to CAB por the UC help to claim team who operate through CAB and get a calculation done based on receiving the LCWRA element and the carers element. I do benefit checks for many couples in a similar situation to yours and even if the working partner gets around £1200- £1500 a month they still qualify once that LCWRA element is in place. Please do get someone to double check.

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Appeal the PIP, that is awful! Just in the process of appealing PIP myself. Dh is getting £560 a month and still working FT. He has COPD, various heart conditions, etc. I applied for PIP, and although my mobility is poor, I was turned down. Please appeal! SIL has had a terminal cancer diagnosis for more than 10 years. DH was awarded more PIP than she was?!! She appealed and got more.

Original poster

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:07

pinkshoes87 · 11/04/2023 21:59

Full time NHS and I earn 28k with 2 kids and a mortgage of 530. I have a 14 year old car I own outright.

It is a huge struggle. even with tax credits (which is not much as I had an "overpayment" which I couldn't dispute long story!") it is not enough.

I have no savings and live pay cheque to pay cheque.

I don't think 30k is a good income in this climate.

6 years ago we lived on my husbands 30k salary just fine... then he passed away and I earn only 28...times have sure changed.

Sorry to hear about your husband 😔

You sound like you're doing a fantastic job though! But yes, you're right 30k isn't a good income in this climate

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bigbabycooker · 11/04/2023 22:07

Hi OP, sorry you are struggling. Can you think a bit outside the box in terms of your job? Could you work evenings going out after partner is home, as lots of places near us in SE need staff and no childcare costs? That's what I would do for instant profit. Then you can study and precook dinner etc whilst DC is at school. Try also searching for remote jobs too - PA/charities etc do often have them.

Original poster

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:10

Kaiserchief · 11/04/2023 21:45

I do think a lot of people with lots of money (like my in-laws) don’t really understand how much some people do struggle.

2 cars is a luxury even if you own them outright - you’ve still got to pay road tax, insurance, repairs and fuel. I didn’t have a car when my first one was little- husband worked 45 miles away and used the car for that. Do you need a car if you don’t work?

I needed a job and started up as a cleaner. Not ideal but the money is amazing and I need to be around for school runs with h working full time so I just do 6 hours a day. It was meant to be a stop gap but it’s been a good few years now.

I do need a car. So does DH.

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Original poster

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:13

bigbabycooker · 11/04/2023 22:07

Hi OP, sorry you are struggling. Can you think a bit outside the box in terms of your job? Could you work evenings going out after partner is home, as lots of places near us in SE need staff and no childcare costs? That's what I would do for instant profit. Then you can study and precook dinner etc whilst DC is at school. Try also searching for remote jobs too - PA/charities etc do often have them.

Thanks. I've applied for a few jobs that I'm still waiting to hear back from so fingers crossed for those. I'm searching for jobs every day and definitely not ruling out evening jobs. I have done evening cleaning jobs before. Annoyingly DHs new job is a lot further away which means he'll be home quite a bit later than now. A lot of evening jobs I see start at 5:30 - 6ish and DH wont be back by then. But I'll keep looking. Remote would be ideal but obviously they're rarer and more competitive and sadly not in a position to be fussy :)

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HistoryFanatic · 11/04/2023 22:18

whatkatydid2013 · 11/04/2023 21:46

This makes little sense to me. You are ok with tax revenue being used to pay private landlords to own a second home but not to pay individuals to own a first one?

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It is interesting how many UC claimants take issue at someone getting help with their mortgage payments but happy for their rent to be paid....

Original poster

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:18

Hudsonriver · 11/04/2023 21:49

What has happened to your outgoings Op that you are struggling on 10K more?
Have used your savings and in OD?

Even with all the price rises surely its not 10K more expensive?
Do you have additional debt?
Perhaps post your outgoings?
Usually lots of help on here

I'm honestly not sure.

We had to get a new boiler on finance as ours packed up so that's upped our monthly outgoings. All our bills have gone up. (We've cancelled all streaming services and TV licence)

Food costs are a killer at the moment.

DH had a breakdown a few months ago and we lost a fair bit of income when he was off sick hence the over drafts.

Fuel costs have gone up and additional journeys we didn't have before including visiting elderly parents who are in poor health. Visits have greatly increased as they're struggling so much. Taking them to hospital apps, etc.

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StressedToTheMaxxx · 11/04/2023 22:18

The squeezed middle, myself and many of my friends fall into this category and get help with nothing. When I was only working part time and not earning much, I got universal credit and child benefit on top of my wages (I still get the CB to be fair) and 85% of nursery fees back. Well they say up to 85%, it was usually only about 80%. I was genuinely better off then as now I don't get any universal credit nor any of my childcare fees back. I actually have less money at the end of the month now than when I did when I earnt a small amount and got so much help with UC.

I'm happier working more though and earning a better wage, so it's worth it for me.

Viviennemary · 11/04/2023 22:19

You don't have a job and run two cars. I really don't think you know the meaning of financial hardship.

Namechangingagain111 · 11/04/2023 22:19

When you remortgage, you don't have to put all of it on interest-only or all of it on repayment - you can split it. That might make the difference between the lender approving it or not as they're generally not that keen on full interest-only mortgages these days.
I split mine so that the repayments were the most that I could afford at the time and, as time has passed, I've been lucky enough to be able to pay a bit off the interest-only portion to reduce the lump sum that I need to pay off at the end of the mortgage term.
Good luck !

Original poster

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:19

OhNoItsThePinkyPonk · 11/04/2023 21:19

YANBU to think some people don’t have a clue, that said I do feel some focus too much on the number and not the situation.

I’m a doctor, I earn £100000, and am grateful for it. When I started my medical journey I was given to believe that as I progressed through the ranks and when I eventually completed my training I would live in this kind of house in that part of town and drive this sort of car. So that’s what my family and I did. We took out mortgages and loans and agreed to pay them back over time, usually secured against future income.

Now things have changed, as they have for everybody (and I’m not trying to pretend for a second that our situation is as challenging as it is for so many others), and we cannot afford our lives. Technically we earn more than we did five years ago but we are no longer able to live in our house of ten years, we have changed our cars, we don’t have hobbies, holidays or meals out. What comes in goes out again immediately and we are close to defaulting on some debt.

I continue to consider myself very fortunate, and am markedly aware of how much more challenging life is for others, nevertheless I do believe that in discussions such as these it is worth remembering that most families live within their means and match income to expenditure regardless of what that income may be. Almost nobody has ‘spare’ money.

I do have sympathy with the OPs position but also with those who are struggling on higher wages. It’s not the wage that’s crippling people, it’s the commitments made when the wage itself was worth more. Perhaps this is all due to poor financial planning on my part, highly likely in fact, but from the day I first went to university I accrued debt with the expectation and indeed promise that my future earnings would adequately compensate.

Or perhaps I’m blinded by middle-class privilege, if so I apologise.

No, I completely agree with you.

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Original poster

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:22

CandleInTheStorm · 11/04/2023 21:05

It's getting much more common to study in your 30s and 40s nowadays, either due to not doing well back at school and wanting to increase your earning potential, finally figuring out what you want to do in life, or having a change of/second career.

Not many people leave school, go to university, get a job in the field and do that for life. Things have definitely changed and it's a good thing, especially for women. No longer expected to just get a job for pin money after they have a child and a partner.

Animals are an expense but are also a great joy to people's lives. Mine help combat any loneliness my mental health so wouldn't be the first thing to go. Saying that comes across as though an animal is disposable when actually they are part of the family. I'd be looking at other ways, such as cutting bills/utilities if that's an option before getting rid of a pet that's part of the family.

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Totally agree in regards to the pets. I have severe anxiety which I'm medicated for. My cats help so much. They keep me calm and happy. Having them close when I'm having a panic attack really helps.

I also made a commitment when I got them that I'd look after them forever. I'm not going to give them up at the first sign of hardship. They mean so much more to us than that. Animals are not disposable.

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Kaiserchief · 11/04/2023 22:22

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:10

I do need a car. So does DH.

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I see. It sounds like you’ll have to get a job. Being a SAHM is a luxury most families can’t afford, mine and yours included.

Original poster

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:23

Kaiserchief · 11/04/2023 22:22

I see. It sounds like you’ll have to get a job. Being a SAHM is a luxury most families can’t afford, mine and yours included.

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Well quite. I did say so in my OP and most other subsequent posts. I'm doing everything I can to try and get a job and also finish my degree.

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Original poster

CybermanAshad · 11/04/2023 22:24

Namechangingagain111 · 11/04/2023 22:19

When you remortgage, you don't have to put all of it on interest-only or all of it on repayment - you can split it. That might make the difference between the lender approving it or not as they're generally not that keen on full interest-only mortgages these days.
I split mine so that the repayments were the most that I could afford at the time and, as time has passed, I've been lucky enough to be able to pay a bit off the interest-only portion to reduce the lump sum that I need to pay off at the end of the mortgage term.
Good luck !

Thanks, I didn't know that. Really helpful to know :)

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ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 11/04/2023 22:29

LucifersLight · 10/04/2023 18:05

You are being unreasonable and I suspect you know it.

Even £30k is a decent salary - in many parts of the UK families do fine on a single minimum wage salary.

My family of 3 lives on £22k and yes we have a mortgage payment of £700 a month.

It sounds like you have probaby bought cars newer than you can really afford or something.

Everyone is far better off now than people were in the 80s/90s when I had a full-time NHS job paying less than £100 take home a week and a mortgage of £500 a month.

Basically everyone got used to money being free (low interest rates) and thought it would last forever.

Boo hoo.

I had full time jobs in the 80’s and 90’s. I was paid more than a lot of people get now. 18k and a car. In 1988. I was 25 with a degree in design.

Wages were much higher then.

katepilar · 11/04/2023 22:37

anerki10 · 10/04/2023 18:03

It was doable for us when I started. Now it isn't I'm doing everything I can to find a full time job. Not having any luck. And my point was we have 40k annual income as a household. We survived fine on 30k a few years ago and now we're struggling on 40k.

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Yes, prices move, there is no point concentrating on the comparison of 30k then and 40k now.
Why are you not looking into a temp job?

whatkatydid2013 · 11/04/2023 22:41

I’d start by writing down exactly what your income and fixed monthly and annual outgoings are. Once you have that what’s your net amount and decide how you will use it.

We are not struggling at all now but we’ve been fairly tight without being destitute in the past and being super disciplined about tracking spending really helped. It’s also helpful longer term when you have more income as it sets you in good habits to help you save.

Many people have such low incomes they can’t manage no matter what but it does sound like you are in the bracket where careful planning/budgeting will help you out longer term.

For now if it’s just for a number of weeks till your OH gets his raise do you have anything you could list on Marketplace to get a little bit extra? Are there any bills you could underpay just for a couple of months (sometimes if you call and explain companies will let you do this)? Do you have any points saved up in loyalty points you can use? If you have a Morrisons or other supermarket that uses it near you could you try the too good to go app out (£3.09 for a bag of yellow sticker stuff at our local one and you generally get loads so if you are a bit creative you could do majority of your food for the week with the addition of some dairy/meat and spices)? Can you get a loan to repay over a year and use it to tide you over or use a credit card with an initial interest free period?