To think some people don't realise

[CybermanAshad]

A few years ago we were a surviving on 30k as a household. It was tight but fine. That was one wage. I was a SAHP as it was cheaper than nursery fees.

We're a family of three with two cats. That's 2 adults and a 4 year old.

Now we have an income of just over 40k and things are harder than ever and we've never struggled so much. That's one wage, child benefit and a student maintenance loan.

We have £5 in the bank to last until 25th of the month. Some food but not much. Both cars need fuel. Before if things were tight there was always some way to get by. Small savings pot (under 1k) we also overpay into our bills account every month not much but would mean if things got tight there might be a spare £100 in there we could use.

Now we have no savings, no spare in the bills account. A combined over draft of £2000 now maxed.

Never thought I'd be wishing DC was back at school to benefit from the school dinner every day.

Desperately trying to get a job. Looking for something that pays about 20k. Would replace maintenance loan and give us 11k extra a year. So far all rejections.

Partner has also managed to get a job paying 8k more a year but doesn't start until May so won't see the benefit until the end of May.

Just feels relentless at the moment.

Saw a thread on here recently with lots of posters saying 85k was nothing in London and people on benefits had a ton of money and had no idea what it was like trying to survive on 85k with no help. I know it's bloody expensive in London but from my own perspective, 85k would be a dream. We don't qualify for benefits beside child benefit which is £87.20 every four weeks.

As I said, a few years ago we got by on 30k and now we're struggling on 40k.

AIBU to think some people don't understand that there's a huge middle section of people who don't recieve benefits but earn under 50k?

I imagine struggling a lot more than those on 85k.

I have friends who literally need to rely on friends and family buying them food or going to the food bank! It’s disgraceful!

Lone parent, can't work. One child, with severe behaviour issues, no support whatsoever. Struggling on far less than that. Desperate not to lose our home. No one seems to understand - much less provide support without passing the book constantly. Wondering how much worse it could be than this.

Single bus journeys are capped at £2 all over England atm.
As I travel by bus everywhere I get a weekly ticket -£13 currently.
That's £27 up on running a car for £40
£108 a month
Also if the car was sold it would hopefully pay off Ops OD.

I'm with you OP.

I'm a single parent and a few months ago we were quite comfortable on £26k p/a. We weren't well off by any stretch of the imagination but we had enough.

I've just applied for UC because we cannot afford food anymore.

The cost of food rising hasn't helped but the biggest factor is energy. My energy costs have quadrupled. I'm topping up the electric by £150 a week. We've always used a lot and I never can figure out why, I can only guess it's down to the computing equipment I run 12 hours a day for work (I work from home) but it's never been more than £30/40 a week until now. We don't use much gas but that's only because I've banned people from using the heating.

My money is running out within two weeks of being paid. Previously it would last us all month. There wasn't much left over but it lasted us.

We didn’t even have a car growing up so I see them as a total luxury. H needed his for commuting and meetings but I’ve only had my ‘own’ on and off since having the kids - when I worked locally I didn’t have one. Yes it was a drag but we couldn’t afford it.

I think people who were brought up with more struggle more without when they’re grown ups. Massive generalisation but I’ve seen it time and again.

I struggled to get a job! I was looking for something local and part time. I have degrees and years of experience. Some people are snobby about cleaning but no-one else is going to pay me £30-£40 an hour.

With the car I’d say if you were not due a change in circumstances then you might need to adjust to sharing a car and to do school runs on foot and running the errands for your parents when your OH is at home. As it is with your OH due a significant raise soon it wouldn’t make sense to sell a reliable older car now. It will doubtless give you extra work options to have a car anyway. Lots of people have mentioned you could do care work for example and many of those jobs require you to have a car. I know our Ukrainian guest is struggling to find work because between jobs with shifts starting before/finishing after public transport is available and those that require you to have a car (care work/cleaning jobs seem to mostly stipulate it) she’s limited in what she’s eligible to do. Then when she applies she’s competing with loads of 19/20 year old Uni students who employers can pay less

How are you entitled to benefits? My husband earns 40k and I looked at how much we would be entitled to if I didn’t return to work and it was nothing!

I agree, ignore those who say get rid of the car. Without a car it limits job opportunities for a start. It would take me an hour and two buses to get to my workplace, a journey in the car of under fifteen minutes. Plus you need it for your child and parents.

How are you entitled to benefits? My husband earns 40k and when I checked a benefits calculator online we weren’t entitled to anything. We have a mortgage, does this make a difference?

Have you applied for the tax break for wfh @ItWillWash ? It may not apply to you but if it does every little helps

https://www.gov.uk/tax-relief-for-employees/working-at-home

@whatkatydid2013

I don't think it applies to me but it's worth a try. My employer has an office and I'd be more than welcome there but it's in a different country. That's not because they require me to live far away from the office though, it's just where they happen to be based.

I grew up in a household without much money. Not having much money meant I got used to things being that way, and I’m still trying to train myself out of it. Not having much money meant to me, as a kid, not having wallpaper on the walls or carpet on the floor, not having central heating, not having a bed frame, having one set of sheets so having to sleep without a cover for a few days every few months whilst they were washed and dried. Not having a sofa, we had cushions on the floor. Making putty out of flour, newspaper and water to stuff the cracks where the draughts were

I'm going to be brutal here and say your parents should not have had kids . If you cannot provide better than this it's wrong and totally unfair on children when their basic needs are not met .

@CandleInTheStorm our CT is £200pcm! Wondering why we are paying so much now? Gas and electric is 300 can’t find a cheaper deal. Mortgage is 1k (ordinary 3 bed). Car insurance 600 per year (13 year old mini). Nursery fees will be 1kpcm.

People saying two cars is a luxury just don’t understand peoples different circumstances. My partner is currently working a toad for 4 days (often travels) and there is very limited public transport where we live. I wouldn’t be able to get to work, the supermarket, or my child’s nursery without a car.

Fair enough of course but a lot of us don’t get pets because of the cost. It’s a choice. So if you have pets but are crying poverty then it’s something to think about

• abroad

That sounds a very difficult situation OP. Sorry you are in it. A lot of others are but that doesn't help you.
Have you tried CAB they are good at looking at what help you can get or debt management.

I read you have cut back as far as possible but look again and see what you need and what you want. They are 2 different things.

I have no cooker at the moment but am lucky enough to have a garden. So I light a fire and cook on that. I don't mind. But for some it would be dire straights.

Probably didn’t. But no doubt loved wearing a uniform trying to feel superior.
First one in the queue brandishing their lanyard for an extra hours shopping and a discount during covid?

@Toffeecat2019 you're right, two of my siblings have decided not to work because they would get less money. My sister just says she can’t afford to work ( no kids).

I understand loving animals but what you’re saying here is that you would take food out of your child’s mouth to feed your cats? Unless what you’re saying is you’re down to your last £5 this month with cupboards and a freezer full of food.

Perhaps look at going down to having one car. This is what we decided to do when things got tight.
I was a student with a baby and I agree it was really tight even though I was working part time nights aswell. Tbh it was 3 years of hell. But it did get better eventually.

I suspect so. OP doesn't seem that worried.

The bigger issue that several people have said is that wages are not keeping up with inflation. People who were living well within their means are suddenly struggling.
A mortgage is not just easy to leave (schools, price of other houses, commutes, support networks). Leased cars agreements aren't easy to get out of. People have other commitments and expenses that a few years ago would have been easy for them to manage but suddenly they can't. It's really rather depressing. I know which way I'll be voting come the election, won't make any difference where I live I think it's been tory since the first MP.

I actually think the OP is the one who’s tone deaf. She had the luxury of being a SAHP some years ago when others either couldn’t afford it or continued working to build up their earnings. Perhaps the poster who was earning £85k made sacrifices such as going back to work after a short maternity leave and is now reaping the benefits! Everyone is affected by COL why not just say I’m struggling to get by as a student, with just my DH working instead of creating a whole post to effectively say some people don’t know they’re alive (are so lucky)? It’s not a race to the bottom but it’s worth checking your privilege occasionally - you have 2 cars, a small mortgage and you have managed to avoid having to work up to now. Yes, you have a maintenance grant but with a little foresight you could have got a job ages ago to top up your earnings when you first started dipping into savings and your overdraft. The COL isn’t a new thing so I’m surprised you have got to the stage where you have £5 and have maxed out your overdraft before seeing the urgency of getting a job.

Pretty sure it’s annoying to be told that you should consider yourself lucky and others have it worse but perhaps you can now sympathise with the poster on £85k, who, if I remember correctly was actually a single parent.

Some big assumptions here and a bit nasty. Boo hoo? Nasty and childish.