Do these fathers actually want children?

[Daftasyoulike]

I see a lot of posts on MN about absent Fathers who don't pay maintenance, don't make any effort to see their children, etc. Is it unreasonable to ask whether these men ever actually wanted kids in the first place, or was it a case of accidental pregnancies, which were allowed to continue in the hope that 'he will come around to the idea once the baby arrives', and then when the relationship breaks up, you find that he never really cared about having the kids in the first place, so doesn't feel he should contribute emotionally or financially to the raising of his children?

Someone mentioned women who have children to multiple men, where is the responsibility of men that have multiple children with different women?

Is this somehow the fault of the women as well? I mean surely she should be able to guess that the man will walk out in her as well as he did in previous relationships?

Is it her fault he doesn't parent any of previous his children? No.

Should she use basic common sense, and think "hmmm, so the last three children to three different women, he's not wanted anything to do with the child....maybe he's not the ideal guy to create a fourth with?" Absolutely.

Should she be able to guess he will walk out on her, as he did in three previous situations? Well, it's hardly surprise of the century if he did, is it.

And again @DHsPoorBack do you have any evidence or data whatsoever that most single mothers' children have fathers who already had children with other women before they were born and have previously walked out on their wives and children and yet the mother has chosen to have children with someone who has proved themselves already to be a deadbeat? Or are you again stigmatising single mothers and have absolutely no basis for the implied assertion that this is the situation in anything other than a tiny minority of cases?

Bloody hell. I think this is the worst example you could of used to prove your point.

(You would hope most women wouldn't want to shack up with one who already has kids and does F all for them)

Not really.

Not people in this thread are happy to point the blame towards women and it's their twisted way of getting pregnant that ends them up single parents.

I know of men who convince their new partner that their ex was crazy and they don't allow contact with their children, it's not their fault at all. It's too late them when the women realises the truth.

They might be naive but not really their fault they end up raining a child on their own.

My ex husband has got remarried and had another baby, he sees my children as and when he pleases, he didn't have them at his wedding and actually stopped having them overnight before his new baby was born. Would I have children with a man that did this, no as the red flags could be seen straight away but I know he's painted a horrid picture of me to his new wife and family and our old friends. He even compare the kids to the family dog that had to be rehomed when we split as being the same victims of a failed relationship.

Do you not see that your situation is nothing like the one you posted about. You can't apply the same "common sense" to both.

You would hope most women wouldn't want to shack up with one who already has kids and does F all for them

This. Excusing women from applying any common sense doesn't help anyone.

My ex was the one who pushed for a baby. The second I was pregnant he started being vile. He left when my DS was 6 months old, has never paid a penny and has only seen him once.

I hate few people but I hate that waste of oxygen.

reddragon7 doesn't think men have equal responsibility as parents.