AIBU to think it will always be hard to take disabled daughter anywhere ( bus spaces )

[Itsamission25]

I think I just need to vent tbh ! Today we took a 9 year old and a toddler on a day out to a well known theme park. 9 year old is sick/ disabled and had her wheelchair. The way from our house is a bus / coach service. We paid for our tickets etc
they are “ disabled friendly and adapted ) with the logo proudly on the front of the bus.
we went to the bus and there was a load of us including pushchairs waiting. I folded toddlers stroller down ready whilst I was doing this the 2 other pushchairs got on but didn’t fold down. They went to the wheelchair space, this was very clearly marked and had s sign saying wheelchairs take priority if needed please fold pushchair.
we then got in and asked for them to fold the pushchair and asked the bus driver for the space, one was a sleeping toddler so parent refused because he was sleeping, the second refused because she has no one to help fold her stroller and bus driver said he agreed with them. We ended up being left on the side watching the bus go with the next one not for another 2 hours.
we ended up paying over 100.00 for a taxi so a day trip cost us way more than it should. Should I just accept that this will always be the case and realise that the system doesn’t work for her :(

I think that was aimed at my comment. Sorry if I offended you. I have a motability car myself and I do view it as "free" because other than the downpayment at the start the only cost to me is petrol. I don't have to pay insurance, maintenance, servicing, road tax, breakdown cover, it's all covered by the mobility part of my PIP. I wasn't intending to upset anybody so sorry if I phrased it wrong. And no, I agree that they most certainly are not handed out like sweets, not many people meet the criteria.

Totally in the same boat @Oneiros

I qualify for the scheme and having a car would change my quality of life

I cannot afford the scheme

As to the OP please do complain to the bus provider I've had to a number of times and had positive dialogue

No @Oneiros it wasn't you!

I also didn't realise it was even harder for children to qualify for it with DLA. That's so wrong. 😡

Oh ok good! Thank you!! I didn't want to upset anyone.

Sorry I think I got confused between who said what about the cost of vehicles I think I meant to reply to @Sugarplumfairy65

In a country where accessible toilets are quietly being turning into "gender neutral" I think you need to know your place. Which is to find a queue, and get to the back of it.

I think its so sad that the only answer seems to be for the op to get a car. why can't people like the non moving mother do that. the onus always seems to be that the wheelchair user needs to do something.
I don't take my dd on buses. she would be so upset if someone refused to move, the tears would be awful. (adult with cp and lds) so we have a motorbility vehicle. all adapted and costly.
the wheelchair space should only be for wheelchairs imo, the threads i have been on over the years have been countless, unlike this one, full of posters making excuses as to why they wouldn't move.

Sorry to hear that OP, it’s so wrong! 😡

1. That’s awful but…
2. why didn’t you help them fold their stroller?

I would definitely report this!

There was a thread on this topic on here recently. A wheelchair user was being refused entry to bus because buggies had taken up wheelchair space. He quoted a law that gives wheelchair users priority. The buggies had to be folded and moved. If you can find this quote it in your email to bus company. Ask them to make all drivers aware and to put signs on bus doors stating the law. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this

I hope you took down exact details of the bus, or at least the time and location? That bus driver clearly didn't do his job and you need to make a formal complaint about him. If the bus company don't take it seriously, escalate it to the authorities that licence the bus company to operate.

@Hesma she was refusing, at this point I was back outside with my daughter. I would have happily folded her stroller for her. It was just an excuse she never wanted anyone to help.
I also had a stroller on me with toddler along side my daughter in he wheelchair and it was folded with no issues it’s can easily be done.

How is that OPs responsibility?

So are pram users just meant to stay inside for the rest of our lives?
I'm not saying I agree with what happened to the op here, but these comments about barring pram users from using the spaces are almost as bad.

I suffer from social anxiety which is gradually morphing into agoraphobia and getting on a bus with my pram is one of the most terrifying aspects of me deciding to leave the house.
I spend days working myself up about it (days out are planned due to how bad my social anxiety is. I can't just go out on a whim), I spend the entire time I'm on the bus terrified that a wheelchair will get on or another pram and I'll have to awkwardly manoeuvre to give them space, I always try to sit on the opposite space where some buses in my area actually have a pram symbol painted on the floor as they aren't suitable for wheelchairs as that side has no backrest, my kids hardly go anywhere because of MY mental problems, and the comments on this post beautifully illustrate why.

I'm sick of being made to feel like a nuisance for daring to try to have a life and go out in public with my kids.

I have a double buggy, so 'just fold it' isn't always practical and I have nerve damage too so can no longer fold or unfold without a lot of help, then my pram takes up more space folded with the seats off anyway!

Maybe some of you could stop being so pigheaded and see it's not always black and white and 'selfishness'

Living inside my head with all my anxieties makes me want to die sometimes, but yes, we pram pushers should just stay in and not be such an inconvenience to others.

sorry not sorry its a wheelchair space, for wheelchairs.

IF somebody has been awarded Higher Rate Mobility, then it is possible to personally enter into a leasing contract with Motorbility and some of the vehicles available (not necessarily wheelchair accessible ones, mind) can be leased for the entire amount of the mobility component with breakdown recovery, repairs, insurance and servicing included in that amount. However, the fuel costs and parking outside the terms of the blue badge scheme and any other additional costs have to come out of the rest of the income, such as any amount paid in respect of care (not guaranteed), wages, child benefit, UC or anything else that is not actually intended for, nor it is increased to take account of, additional costs of meeting the person's mobility needs. The main advantage is that there isn't a credit check to be passed, as the existence of an award for x years is deemed sufficient - although if the award is stopped due to an error/end of claim, the car is collected very quickly. For a person who is over 25, already has full no claims bonus and a lump sum in the bank, it is significantly cheaper to buy a secondhand vehicle and run that instead - if they have that financial advantage in the first place, of course, what with being a disabled person or parent/carer of of one not guaranteeing this.

In short, it's never a free car. It's an extremely expensive for what it is leasing/hire contract that has to be paid for by the person and represents significant further costs over and above the amount paid for mobility. I looked into it when eligible and decided it was the equivalent of Brighthouse for the Disabled.

So are pram users just meant to stay inside for the rest of our lives?
I'm not saying I agree with what happened to the op here, but these comments about barring pram users from using the spaces are almost as bad.

(Now there's a username that goes back to the days of LOOT.)

Invariably these threads always attract people who cant' quite seem to make out the distinction between a disability and being a parent. Granted there are several nuances (there aren't) and it can be an incredibly subtle distinction (it isn't). But hey. lets make it all about them, shall we ?

Why would a pram user have to stay inside? You can just fold your pram and hold your child. As the law requires when a disabled person needs to use the disabled space? Clue is in the name.

It may be tough for parents when babies are little but they do have choices in what they buy and it’s only for a few years.

disabled people face these challenges day in day out for their whole lives.

i think many people forget that disability campaigners fought long and very hard for these very basic adjustments. Now they are being taken over by other groups who don’t want to bother fighting themselves.

if you aren’t a wheelchair user (including SN buggies) then if you decide to use the space allocated for wheelchair users to be able to travel safely then you need to be prepared to leave the space if someone needs it.

@LadyGrinningSoul85 do you have a double 'buggy' or a 'pram'? If you have to remove the seats to fold it then it isn't the style suitable for public transport.
While I sympathize with your situation the problem is people using 'prams' on buses - large frames, large wheels and seat or carrycot has to be removed to fold. A lighter weight, easy to fold one piece 'buggy' is what is needed for public transport. You can get those in double and suitable from newborn.
You don't say how old your children are so this might not work but I hope this helps to make travelling on a bus with them easier for you and give you more confidence.
Get a lightweight easy to fold buggy. Keep the rain cover in a small PE style bag under the buggy so you can whip it out and put it on your back if you need to fold (because often you can't fold if there is stuff in the underneath basket). If one of your children still a baby small enough to be in a sling you can put them in the sling while on the bus (keep the sling in the bag with the rain cover if not using).
If you don't have to fold then it's great but if you need to you can do it all quickly - sit the kids on a seat (even hand them to another passenger to hold for a minute), whip out the bag from underneath, fold buggy down 🙂

So sorry this happened to you OP, can't believe you were treated like this. Had I been on that bus, I would have moved heaven and earth to help you.

For a person who is over 25, already has full no claims bonus and a lump sum in the bank, it is significantly cheaper to buy a secondhand vehicle and run that instead

This isn't necessarily true though. Me being me, I did a spreadsheet before deciding to get one.

I have an excellent credit rating, and my motorbility car did require a significant downpayment (as most do now). I have a full no claims bonus from private ownership before moving onto the scheme, and have always bought second-hand cars previously. With the depreciation, servicing, MOTs, repairs, paying insurance, breakdown cover etc, it works out significantly cheaper for me to have a motorbility car (including using the mobility part of my PIP to "pay" for it) than it did to buy 3-5 year old cars myself and maintain, repair, MOT, insure, service them etc, per year of ownership/ use. But with the bonus that the motorbility car is new so less stress because it's less likely to break down and there's no risk to me of a sudden expense if something goes wrong with it, or the hassle of having to sell the old one when it needs replacing, or worry about buying a new one with something seriously wrong with it, or the insurance premiums rocketing upwards every year as they were doing even though I'd got an even longer driving history with full no claims, etc.

The scheme is decent value. But not such good value as it used to be when most cars didn't also require larger downpayments. That's partly due to supply chain issues post-Covid so may improve in future years. But it's also largely down to GBP having been massively devalued ever since the Brexit referendum and never recovering to its previous levels because of the obvious effect that decision would have on the British economy.

Of course if we got a Government that would remove the unnecessary trade barriers and rejoin the single market and customs union then this might also improve, along with many of the other cost of living pressures and lack of funds for public services and low productivity making all British people poorer year on year, but no politicians if any party seem to be proposing to take this obvious step to stop impoverishing British people so...

So are pram users just meant to stay inside for the rest of our lives?

Self-evidently, no. Unless you intend to transport your children around by pram for the rest of your life.

For example just before I went onto the scheme, I received the renewal quotation for my privately owned car. Over 50% increase in premiums, with nothing changed from last year. Now I do not have to worry about this.

Anyway OP sorry for the derail. How you were treated is completely unacceptable. Your disabled daughter has a legal right to use that space and it's disgusting people wouldn't move. I think you're right to male a formal complaint and in future be much more forceful about it and refuse to move until they vacate the space. Every disabled person should do this. We shouldn't have to, it's appalling, but if everybody does it then the message may get through, finally. It's your DD's legal right so if necessary, enforce it for her.