AIBU to think it will always be hard to take disabled daughter anywhere ( bus spaces )

[Itsamission25]

I think I just need to vent tbh ! Today we took a 9 year old and a toddler on a day out to a well known theme park. 9 year old is sick/ disabled and had her wheelchair. The way from our house is a bus / coach service. We paid for our tickets etc
they are “ disabled friendly and adapted ) with the logo proudly on the front of the bus.
we went to the bus and there was a load of us including pushchairs waiting. I folded toddlers stroller down ready whilst I was doing this the 2 other pushchairs got on but didn’t fold down. They went to the wheelchair space, this was very clearly marked and had s sign saying wheelchairs take priority if needed please fold pushchair.
we then got in and asked for them to fold the pushchair and asked the bus driver for the space, one was a sleeping toddler so parent refused because he was sleeping, the second refused because she has no one to help fold her stroller and bus driver said he agreed with them. We ended up being left on the side watching the bus go with the next one not for another 2 hours.
we ended up paying over 100.00 for a taxi so a day trip cost us way more than it should. Should I just accept that this will always be the case and realise that the system doesn’t work for her :(

I would also complain and try and get the bus company to reimburse you, I am fairly sure most buses have video, so you can always point to that, if need be.

Personally, I would also start practicing using some stock phrases, about getting people to move. I know you shouldn't, but people are selfish dicks and you are probably going to come across this more and more.

It easy enough for us to say you should have caused a scene, but when you are in the moment its more difficult. Memorise a few phrases of fuck off you selfish twat, in polite sensible language and if you are self conscious try practicing infront of a mirror till you feel a bit more comfortable

I did kick off, so did line of people behind me. The mum didn’t care she just sat smiling. The bus driver went behind his door thing and just shrugged at anyone that said anything.
i mean this does matter but it baffled me like she is obviously sick if that makes sense ( Multiple tubes they could see etc I couldn’t grasp why another parent could see that we really needed help.

Wheelchairs always have priority over prams on buses and people and kids in wheelchairs are covered by the Equality Act 2010 so I suggest you contact the bus company and threaten them with the court action as the driver broke the law by discrimating against your disabled child and leaving you out of pocket.

@Itsamission25 I would have been tempted to take hold of the pram and remove it from the bus myself...

Go to your local paper. I normally hate "sad face" articles but this would be absolutely spot on for a picture of you with your daughter to shame them all.

Lease make a formal complaint to the bus company. What their driver did was illegal.

And the other parents were cunts.

@Itsamission25
get a letter from your doctor confirming that your daughter has a prescribed wheelchair from the enablement center
That is literally all your doctor needs to write
xxx was prescribed a wheelchair from the mobility center on xxx date due to her lack of mobility .

I’ve have friends & family who have been previously refused high rate DLA / PIP despite having a prescribed wheelchair for their mobility from the enablement centre

however when adding a letter confirming this to their tribunal they were all were awarded high rate mobility :

one friend used the same letter that she got from her doctor back in 2018 for her renewal last year with absolutely no problem and has had no issues with having her pip renewed.

even if you don’t add it to your original claim take a copy of it to the tribunal and give it to the tribunal .

Your doctor may charge you for the letter generally around £20 but it will be the best £20 you spend 😂

That is absolutely shocking. And somehow more so, that the parents with buggies weren't even already on the bus before it got to your stop- so they were queueing alongside an actual wheelchair user and thought "I'll nip in and steal the wheelchair space from her." The cheek of it!

Please do complain to the bus company. They need to train their drivers and really ought to compensate you.
And maybe print off the wording which others have shared about the law and keep it handy for future journeys. Sorry that it's necessary though- you SHOULDN'T have to.

Those two parents are disgusting and so are the people who voted YABU.

Oh and next time I would quote the law at the driver - keep it on your phone if necessary .
get his name / ID and the bus reg and inform the driver that he is breaking the law by not accommodating your daughter as a wheelchair user .
let him know that you are aware of the buses cctv and and you will be making a complaint to his boss that he is happy to break the law and to discriminate against your daughter .

Sorry if someone has said this but absolutely complain to the bus company and ask them the repay the taxi fair. They've gone against their own policy and need to learn. If you kick up a fuss with management then they will hopefully behave better next time you use their services.

Sad to say it probably will always be tricky, but I hope you can feel empowered to fight your corner for her.

Motorbility cars aren’t “paid for” in the way this appears. Motability is a rental agreement and for a larger car that takes a wheelchair you will likely need to sign over all you mobility allowance plus put down thousands of pounds deposit. You need to provide/pay for a parking place and fuel.

The bus drivers actions were illegal. He doesn't get to choose which parts of the law he abides by.

This was covered well on a previous thread that might help give you the confidence to challenge him. Definitely contact the bus company and complain as his actions are not acceptable. The more people who complain the more education bus companies will provide.

Was I Unreasonable - wheelchair Space http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4729298-was-i-unreasonable-wheelchair-space

Definitely a formal complaint needed. It is a depressingly frequent occurrence that I hear or read of wheelchair uses being discriminated against by passengers and drivers on buses. Really not on at all and obviously illegal.

I also understand that it is very hard to stand your ground in such circumstances when faced with utterly shitty behaviour and the one person in authority (the bus driver) being a coward. Just makes it all the worse really.

That's awful. It doesn't help right now but for next time I would make sure you know the exact law that you are quoting at the bus driver, even maybe have a print out. Also, make sure, for other passengers you are very vocal that she won't fold her buggy with a 2 year old in, so your disabled 9 year old has to wait in the rain for 2 hours. Many people won't have any awareness off the full consequences of this and could assume it's a 10 min wait, if you can be as vocal and clear as possible it could help get you support.

You shouldn't have to do any of this. It's awful. People should be able to be decent human beings and help each other. In the few situations where a mum genuinely can't fold a buggy (disabled mum, disabled child, oxygen tanks, etc(there are others) that can be communicated and some solution should be found.

Please try appeal.

My cousins boyfriend has a disability car and I'm not actually sure why. Something to do with his leg.
He's perfectly fucking fine. He goes jogging for Christ sake.

So this angers me that you've been refused!

Go to the press, name and shame county and bus company

That's horrible. I'd name and shame the bus company on their Facebook and Twitter as well as any local Facebook groups you are on. It's probably the only way they will take your complaint seriously. I've got a toddler but will always fold the pram if a wheelchair needs the space, I thought this was company policy.
The bus company should pay the taxi fare as well.

Complain and send the bus company your taxi receipt together with your bank details for reimbursement for their blatant discrimination. Worth a try anyway.

I had to once hand over my baby to a stranger on the bus so I could fold his pram up to make space for a wheelchair. It was incredibly annoying. I've also been made to get off a bus (after paying, had already been on a few stops) to make space for a wheelchair as there wasn't enough space for both of us. Also incredibly annoying. Still the right thing to do! As a parent I have a choice in taking either a pram/buggy or a baby carrier. Wheelchair users don't have the same choice.

About the having a drs letter saying she has a prescribed wheelchair, it does not go by that at all that would auto get you low rate not high rate.
because she “ can walk “ but is unwell so it flactuates and can’t walk far but she can at times walk the required 50 meters they like to be annoying about it. We will win at tribunal which we are waiting for but it takes over a year to get to tribunal.

It’s non-stop full-on being the parent of disabled children, I know as I have two. I am a massive introvert so it literally pains me to have to advocate so publicly for my children. My elder DD is blind and has a long white cane and the number of times ignorant people jump over her cane or cut her up short, you wouldn’t believe. I’m tired of battling for every little bit of help for my children. I would simply like to get on a bus or a train and be confident that the spaces designated for disabled people are actually available for disabled people. I don’t want to have a confrontation every time we go out in public, this is not what the Equality Act is about.

Disgusting behaviour from those two parents. A clear example of ableism. They basically thought their child was more important and the driver agreed.

Please report the bus driver to the company quoting the relevant legislation and demand reimbursement. Take it to the local Mp if you need to.

'get a letter from your doctor confirming that your daughter has a prescribed wheelchair from the enablement center
That is literally all your doctor needs to write
xxx was prescribed a wheelchair from the mobility center on xxx date due to her lack of mobility .'

That isn't enough. If someone can walk short distances they may have been given a wheelchair but may not meet the criteria for high rate mobility.

Did you get a receipt from the taxi firm? Go all-in on this OP - complaints direct to the company, followed up by councillors, you MP and the press. Might be worth threatening them with a lawyer too if you can.

What a couple of selfish parents and a lazy/cowardly driver.

No they cannot physically remove them if they refuse
tbh working with the general public knowing how unpredictable and aggressive they can be I personally would not put myself in that position open to all sorts of abuse and allegations
granted they could refuse to move the bus and ring police but who helps them in the time it takes the police to turn up
every year hundreds if not thousands of public service workers are attacked by the general public
I worked in retail I’ve been threatened ,and spat at