AIBU to think it will always be hard to take disabled daughter anywhere ( bus spaces )

[Itsamission25]

I think I just need to vent tbh ! Today we took a 9 year old and a toddler on a day out to a well known theme park. 9 year old is sick/ disabled and had her wheelchair. The way from our house is a bus / coach service. We paid for our tickets etc
they are “ disabled friendly and adapted ) with the logo proudly on the front of the bus.
we went to the bus and there was a load of us including pushchairs waiting. I folded toddlers stroller down ready whilst I was doing this the 2 other pushchairs got on but didn’t fold down. They went to the wheelchair space, this was very clearly marked and had s sign saying wheelchairs take priority if needed please fold pushchair.
we then got in and asked for them to fold the pushchair and asked the bus driver for the space, one was a sleeping toddler so parent refused because he was sleeping, the second refused because she has no one to help fold her stroller and bus driver said he agreed with them. We ended up being left on the side watching the bus go with the next one not for another 2 hours.
we ended up paying over 100.00 for a taxi so a day trip cost us way more than it should. Should I just accept that this will always be the case and realise that the system doesn’t work for her :(

Living in London, never seen it happen which seems to support what others are saying. I am sure someone would have offered to help fold the buggy if it ensured the journey continued.

I agree, you should complain to the service provider. The service was not accessible for you.
Part of the issue is that bus companies choose for profit reasons not to employ a conductor, whose job it was to assist people who needed help.
They could choose to provide wheelchair spaces and pram spaces. They could have a policy to prioritise wheelchair users. They choose not to do this.
This is what happens when what should be public services are run for profit, it's a political issue, might be worth complaining to your MP too.

So sorry this happened to you and your DD, OP. The bus driver and the parents with the pushchairs were absolutely out of order.

I agree with PPs that this is a disability discrimination matter and that you should complain to the bus company. I'd refer to the DDA in your complaint and tell them that you believe the actions of the driver amount to a breach.

I'd also ask them to refund the taxi fare. And if it's a service that's funded by the council, I'd make the council aware, too. A bus operator local to me were threatened with having their contract cancelled for one route because they failed to ensure that the wheelchair space was available for a wheelchair user.

You should have been given priority and I would contact the bus firm to raise this.

However if you are reliant on public transport and the bus only runs every 2 hours its never going to be easy. There could have been another disabled passenger or the bus could have been full.

This is the life. A complaint every fucking day. Because tomorrow it will be something else. And the day after something else again.

Do you think anything paid for with DLA/PIPis free, or just motability cars, £369.60 isn’t my definition of free. Also, good luck finding a motability car that can take a ramp and chair that doesn’t have a substantial deposit.

Well yes, I would view that as free because the mobility part of the benefit is extra money given to cover such mobility costs either through motability or privately. But take your point re. deposits at the moment: the shortage in supply of new cars and lower value of GBP ever since the Brexit vote does mean they ask for a deposit for most now, and probably all of the bigger models. Not good when many people need one that size for a wheelchair and other equipment. 😔

But regardless it's horrendous that OP was treated like this. How can there still be bus drivers who are oblivious to the law?

How can there still be bus drivers who are oblivious to the law?

Because they are a reflection of society as a whole. Just as a trivial example, despite all the virtue signalling on these forums, someone is abusing accessible parking bays. And instead of their car being towed and crushed, (as I would have), fuck all happens.

People take their cues from the people around them. Where it's very easy to say something whilst doing fuck all.

Laws that aren't - or can't - be enforced are no laws at all.

Sadly most people do not care about disabled people, look at the amount of comments telling you to get a car as if disabled people are not allowed to use public transport.
You have to get as arsey as those mothers. Just get on with your DD and when they refuse to move just stand in the aisle with your DD and also refuse to move. Tell the bus drover they can call the police as the law is on your side. And just refuse to budge.

Sadly I think you are right. The ridiculously low rates of PIP and DLA are another example of this.

Not everyone can afford to run a car. Not everyone with a disability or a child with a disability can drive a car.
Public transport should be for everyone to use, not just able people

When I had my eldest i was 16 and really anxious i had to take her at 2 weeks old on the bus i was dreading it. It was pouring with rain and freezing cold. A few stops after I’d got on a man in a wheelchair needed to get on, I saw as we approached the bus stop . I picked dd up and started to get the pram ready to be folded (had to take carrycot off and fold the frame). Other people got on and the man asked for the ramp to be put out. The driver said NO! That the space was occupied. I shouted across that I was literally folding my pram the space was free and the driver was still refusing ? The driver told me to ‘pipe down’ and stop telling him what to do or I’d have to get off ! The man was begging and the driver said he couldn’t/ wouldn’t. He seemed to just not want to put the ramp out ? He shut the doors and he drove off. I got home and called the bus company then i wrote and formally complained. This was a long time ago it seems nothing much has changed sadly

I hope you took a video of the driver refusing to do anything and send it to his employer along with your complaint.
The mum sounds like a selfish dick but the driver should have done his job and made her move.
I'm really sorry that your day was impacted by the selfish actions of others.

report to the transport provider - with as much detail as possible so they can identify the offending driver and address the issue.
If TFL, report to TFL as well as the individual bus company.

I think its time for us wheelchair users to take back our spaces! Maybe a coordinated campaign to make sure that all wheelchair spaces on public transport have a wheelchair user in them and block these selfish pram pushers from using our spaces.
And, any public transport company not complying with the law should be prosecuted.
It will probably never happen, but it's a nice thought.

@Sugarplumfairy65 I think you are right maybe we don’t cause enough drama but I think I’m going to this time. It was so unfair I was literally in tears begging saying we had no way else to get home. They did not care
today after some reflection I think it’s my duty to now fight what’s right my daughter and for others !

I have a WAV. When I got it 4 years ago, the down payment was £500 plus I had to pay for adaptations. When my lease runs out in a years time, the down payment for the same model is £4500 plus adaptations. The minimum for any type of WAV is £3500. Because of household income (not mine) I am not entitled to any grants to help with these costs. I also have to pay Motability the full amount of my mobility element of pip.
I cannot afford to get another Motability car when this lease runs out.

I absolutely detest the misconception that if you are disabled or have a disabled child a "free car" is just handed out like sweets.

It's ignorant to the point of offensive.

Even if you do qualify for the Motability car scheme you lose a portion of your disability payments as a contribution

Many people need this money in the pot for their monthly bills.

Disabled adults who can't drive (and are supported by multiple people that come and go due to low rates of retention in care agencies) face issues with designated drivers and insurance also and find public transport less hassle (when it works)

Then there's the adaptations

Then there's the cost of petrol

Free "paid for" car my arse.

(Sorry if I'm repeating comments by others one post made me see red, this is a bugbear for me)

You don’t have to use the wheelchair every time you go out in order to get PIP/DLA. I have epilepsy and don’t have seizures everyday yet I get higher rate mobility which I use for a motability car. You have to use very specific wording on the form but lots of people who think they can’t get it actually can.

The criteria for higher DLA and PIP are different. I get higher mobility but under DLA couldn't.

We had a car but it was written off and I haven’t able to replace ( not a mobility rewarded one )
if tribunal which I am sure they will over turn the low rate mobility to high rate and I decided to get a mobility car I would lose over a 100 pound of our currently money plus pat a deposit.

PIP works differently to DLA sadly. My dd was unable to get high rate mobility on DLA but when she turned 16 and moved over to PIP it was much easier (as it’s done by a points system not just for physical disability). It’s hard to get DLA mobility at high rate unless you’re in a wheelchair full time. Hopefully OP will manage to appeal and get higher rate for her DD.

I have a WAV. When I got it 4 years ago, the down payment was £500 plus I had to pay for adaptations. When my lease runs out in a years time, the down payment for the same model is £4500 plus adaptations. The minimum for any type of WAV is £3500. Because of household income (not mine) I am not entitled to any grants to help with these costs. I also have to pay Motability the full amount of my mobility element of pip.
I cannot afford to get another Motability car when this lease runs out.

It's crazy how much the downpayments have increased. So sorry to hear of your situation. It's dreadful when most people with a motability car are so reliant on them, that these costs are making the scheme inaccessible. 😔

PIP and DLA need to be at least doubled to actually meet something like the real costs of disability like they are meant to. But as a PP said, people in the UK won't push for that because our society doesn't seem to care about disabled people.

I'm so sorry to read what happened to you. You definitely need to complain - your local councillor, MP etc. Local media.

Reading your post made me wish I could have been driving past when it happened and been able to give you a lift.

I'm so sorry, but really, you have to complain - loudly and repeatedly.

Are the drivers worried that a person using a wheelchair is going to take longer to board and disembark, especially if they need a ramp.

I don't use a wheelchair but I remember the bus service I would take to work really, really seemed to resent having to stop to pick people up. It would often whizz straight past stops full of people clearly wanting to get on. I'm guessing drivers like that just don't give a shit.

As others have said for dla unless you qualify under the SMI rules (which are very hard to prove) then unless your a full time wheelchair user it’s very unlikely that you will get higher rate mobility. There only being the two levels for mobility doesn’t help either.

ds is a part time wheelchair user and we generally have feeding pumps etc (as well as needing to be close to the car for medical emergencies ideally) - he qualifies for a blue badge but not for HRM