AIBU to think it will always be hard to take disabled daughter anywhere ( bus spaces )

[Itsamission25]

I think I just need to vent tbh ! Today we took a 9 year old and a toddler on a day out to a well known theme park. 9 year old is sick/ disabled and had her wheelchair. The way from our house is a bus / coach service. We paid for our tickets etc
they are “ disabled friendly and adapted ) with the logo proudly on the front of the bus.
we went to the bus and there was a load of us including pushchairs waiting. I folded toddlers stroller down ready whilst I was doing this the 2 other pushchairs got on but didn’t fold down. They went to the wheelchair space, this was very clearly marked and had s sign saying wheelchairs take priority if needed please fold pushchair.
we then got in and asked for them to fold the pushchair and asked the bus driver for the space, one was a sleeping toddler so parent refused because he was sleeping, the second refused because she has no one to help fold her stroller and bus driver said he agreed with them. We ended up being left on the side watching the bus go with the next one not for another 2 hours.
we ended up paying over 100.00 for a taxi so a day trip cost us way more than it should. Should I just accept that this will always be the case and realise that the system doesn’t work for her :(

That's appalling and illegal. Absolutely complain and get your taxi fee reimbursed. Maybe tweet them? There was a post the other day from an OP who quoted the law at the bus driver which made him empty the wheelchair space for her - something about the driver being personally fined I think, I'll try and find it.

It would serve those two selfish women right if they each broke a leg and had to use wheelchairs for a while.
If you get no apology or compensation from the bus company then contact your local newspaper. This is a serious matter and should be publicised. Lots of luck to you and your family OP.

The bus drivers have one power, and it's really effective: they stop the bus and say they're not moving until the offending party has moved. Works well, but it only works if the bus companies have trained their drivers properly and back them up.

I'm also in favour of a big eye catching public information campaign saying "wheelchair spaces are for wheelchair users. In order to make parents (mothers) lives easier than buggies can use them when not needed for a wheelchair user, on strict condition that they shift when required. No ifs, no buts. If you're not happy to do that, get a taxi."

Getting disinterested third parties informed and onside is key to peer pressuring selfish buggy owners to do the right thing. But the drivers have the power and it all starts with training them. Please do complain OP.

Kick up a stink, OP. Post to their social media pages, put in a written complaint and you could even escalate to the CEO on the grounds that their company clearly has a probably putting it's "disabled friendly" ethos into practice. I can guarantee you'll get your taxi fare reimbursed at the very least

https://www.ceoemail.com/

The way forwards for next time is to refuse to leave the bus. I know it's not always easy when you've got children with you however you should politely but firmly inform the driver of the law and say you won't be moving until they fulfil their statutory duty to accommodate your child's disability.

I would absolutely complain to the bus company and also ask they reimburse you the £100. The drivers behaviour was beyond out of order.

I also hope the families with the pushchairs who refused to fold them feel very ashamed of themselves, waking a sleeping child is nothing compared to a sick child would would then potentially have to wait a further 2 hours!

It was this thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/uk/4775052-bus-driver-refused-me-boarding-in-wheelchair

OP said to the driver:

"S24 of the Public Passenger Vehicle Act 1981 states

Bus drivers refusing to allow wheelchair users onto buses where the wheelchair space is either unoccupied or occupied by people who can readily and reasonably move are committing a crime. They can be prosecuted, given a £500 fine and 3 penalty points."

This.

And I would have been splashing it all over the bus companies website.

Probably a more sensible approach would be to read bus companies own policies. Complain explaining as you've done here and as I imagine they've broken their own policy as for a full refund of the taxi cost.

Id have also been tempted to take photos of those refusing to move and shame them. But a) I don't think that's helpful and b) I wouldn't have the guts in RL!

I think you may need to learn to make a scene.

you shouldn’t have to do that, but it may be the only way to exercise your rights. Refuse to get off the bus and be very vocal that if the driver starts moving before the wheelchair is secured, your child and the other passengers will be in danger

If she's a wheelchair user and 9 then it should be straight forward.

Not every is able to drive, capable of driving or can afford driving lessons. And Motability cars are not paid for, the disabled person pays for the car themselves by giving up a portion of their disability benefits. If those benefits are needed to help with care costs then there isn't anything spare for a car.

@Itsamission25 def complain. Did you keep receipts from the taxi? They sold you tickets for a service he refused to provide.

@itsgettingweird its really not that simple.

Moterbility🙄 Motability comes from PIP and a lot of people use their PIP to pay their bills and care.

Wheelchair spaces are for guess what, wheelchairs.

The self entitled attitudes of some people beggars belief.

How could you treat a person ,especially a child, in a wheelchair like that.
What disgraceful behaviour.

Public transport and disabilities do mix - it is the law. As the parent of a blind and disabled child, I simply cannot stand such lazy and selfish thinking. I am fortunate enough to own my own car but I appreciate that other parents may not be able to do this. Oh, and, depending on the age of the disabled child and their disabilities, it’s actually not that easy to access higher rate mobility as part of the Disability Living Allowance and so access to a Motability vehicle.

YANBU at all! Where I live prams have to move / fold or else you have to get off the bus and wait for the next one. I've had to get off the bus with my pram to allow for wheelchair users which of course can be annoying but totally understandable!!

Honestly think that one of the problems with our culture at the moment is people seem to be feeling less shameful. I truly don't understand how those women could endure the rest of their bus ride having publicly refused to allow a wheelchair user into the wheelchair space for no good reason. I'd be utterly mortified.

Living with/alongside disability means you constantly have to advocate for the most basic access and continually assert yourself against ignorance and/or outrage that 'they can't do that!/that's illegal' when we know they can and they do -- constantly. It is hard and exhausting and unfair, you are right.

But I strongly believe that your experiences will make you and your daughter more empathetic, more compassionate and more resilient. There is disabled joy to be found and celebrated. It shouldn't be like this but when I made a conscious effort try to focus on the positive experiences and positive moments and let the ignorance roll off my back it was easier. Good luck to you both and solidarity!

Just to add, because it grinds my gears that many people seem to be envious of the disabled when they’re perceived to be gaining an advantage ie a Blue Badge or a ‘free’ car - my DD is registered blind, has a brain injury and is diagnosed with autism and ADHD and she does not qualify for the higher rate mobility element so I pay for my own vehicle.

@EmmatheStageRat i hear you ! 🤣 it’s not as simple as wheelchair users - high rate mobility

'Yes I understand it is inconvenient to have to move a sleeping toddler.... I know all about inconvenience' and stare them down.

we then got in and asked for them to fold the pushchair and asked the bus driver for the space, one was a sleeping toddler so parent refused because he was sleeping, the second refused because she has no one to help fold her stroller and bus driver said he agreed with them.

This is outrageous and despicable behaviour on the part of the two parents. And it makes no sense- you, or the driver could have helped the woman fold her buggy, not to mention however many other passengers were in the bus. Had I been a bystander in that bus I would have stepped in and shamed those people.

I cannot imagine what goes on inside the head of a parent who thinks "my toddler's need to sleep is so important that I will make a disabled 9 year old wait 2 hours for the next bus. What the actual fuck?

You absolutely MUST complain to the bus company.

Our local independent living centre helps people use the right wording to get the awards they should be entitled to. Do try again for higher rate mobility DLA.

But before that, please complain to the bus company and demand a refund of the taxi fare, an apology, and assurance that drivers will be better trained. This is a clear breach of all disability laws and any form of decent behaviour. It's appalling and they need to be called out on it. Name and shame, go to the press, don't let them get away with it!!!!

I feel furious on your behalf. Those arsehole parents! I’d wake my sleeping toddler in a heartbeat for your DD to get on the bus in her wheelchair and apologise for making you wait. I’m sorry this happened to you and you absolutely must complain.

Argh there was a post about this a while ago but I can’t find it. The poster was also a wheelchair user struggling with the issues you face and had great wording on what to say to drivers when facing this issue. They are breaking the law, and can be fined for not moving people who are able to vacate (a sleeping baby is not a reason). This website might help. Wish I could find the post for you

https://www.kingqueen.org.uk/prosecute-bus-drivers-for-refusing-wheelchair-users-its-a-criminal-offence/