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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect her to pay for all of it?

336 replies

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:12

My home has two bedrooms.

On Thursday I went on a night out with friends and didn't drink. I went home early.

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

She slept in my son's bed as he wasn't here.

I went in yesterday to change the bedding to see she had been sick all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows. All the bedding will need to be replaced.

She says she doesn't remember being sick.

She has offered to pay half for new bedding. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
VintageBlossomHill · 09/04/2023 15:32

@sunmonlight Disgusting of your friend. I’d have been summoning her straightaway to clean up - although I know by the sounds of her you’d need to clean again - at least the rough would have been done. The poor dog having to share a room with her. 🤢

Whataretheodds · 09/04/2023 15:36

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:26

@MavisMcMinty

It's been soaking for nearly two days, it's all saturated with thick, foul smelling sick. It's soaked through to the other side of the pillows, all throughout the duvet?

Pretty sure you (or a laundrette service wash) will be able to sort out the pillows, duvet and bedlinen. Mattress may well be a more difficult one. Has it soaked through to the mattress?

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/04/2023 15:36

Could you take her to the small claims court if she balks at paying? I mean, your friendship is down the pan anyway so you'd lose nothing. Have you got photographs of the state of the room?

ReadersD1gest · 09/04/2023 15:37

Whataretheodds · 09/04/2023 15:36

Pretty sure you (or a laundrette service wash) will be able to sort out the pillows, duvet and bedlinen. Mattress may well be a more difficult one. Has it soaked through to the mattress?

Show quote history

She doesn't want to use it again, washed or not. Who can blame her?

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/04/2023 15:39

KitKatLove · 09/04/2023 12:48

The fact that it was soaking for two days is on you 100%

Who wouldn’t completely strip a bed if someone had been sick in it?

Show quote history

OP didn't know - her so-called friend didn't tell her she'd left the room like a sewer. otherwise I'm damn sure she would have cleaned it sooner - or got CF to do it.

Whataretheodds · 09/04/2023 15:40

(i should add, obviously she is out of order and should at the very least have flagged it at the time AND offered to sort it/pay in full for cleaning/replacement as needed.

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/04/2023 15:42

Rosula · 09/04/2023 12:57

If they were used sheets etc, I guess it's reasonable not to expect her to cover the price of new ones. On the other hand, if I were the friend, I would be pretty mortified about the whole thing and would want to buy new plus a big bottle of wine or something as a way of saying sorry. Making someone else clear up your vomit is just minging.

If they were used sheets etc, I guess it's reasonable not to expect her to cover the price of new ones.

Why not?

You can't buy sheets with "X months wear" at a reduced price anywhere.

Plus she's had the foul job of stripping the bed and cleaning the filth of everything walls, mattress. HORRIBLE!

Whataretheodds · 09/04/2023 15:44

ReadersD1gest · 09/04/2023 15:37

She doesn't want to use it again, washed or not. Who can blame her?

Show quote history

The bedding will be fine once properly washed and dried so it's not entirely reaaonable to expect the CF to pay to replace those as well as the mattress which i imagine wouldn't be salvageable. Arranging and Paying for a professional clean (where possible) and new (where not) should be sufficient, when combined with a full and sincere apology and a massive bunch of flowers

ReadersD1gest · 09/04/2023 15:45

Whataretheodds · 09/04/2023 15:44

The bedding will be fine once properly washed and dried so it's not entirely reaaonable to expect the CF to pay to replace those as well as the mattress which i imagine wouldn't be salvageable. Arranging and Paying for a professional clean (where possible) and new (where not) should be sufficient, when combined with a full and sincere apology and a massive bunch of flowers

Show quote history

Technically fine, I agree, but... No way I'd sleep in them.

frazzledasarock · 09/04/2023 15:45

she does need to replace it in full. And she’s lying if she says she didn’t know.

did you see her before she left your house?

Oblomov23 · 09/04/2023 15:45

No friend any longer!

FancyFanny · 09/04/2023 15:46

YABU to replace it rather than just washing everything! Even duvets and pillows are washable as well as the covers!

Rollerpiggy · 09/04/2023 15:47

I would be telling her straight “no mate, you need to pay for all of it, but I won’t charge you petrol for the 3am pick up. “

jackstini · 09/04/2023 15:57

I would wash the pillowcase, sheet and duvet cover - but absolutely she should pay for a new pillow, duvet (& mattress? - not sure how that is)

She 100% did not get out of that bed without knowing!

So rude and thankless of her after you picked her up too!

CabbageKale · 09/04/2023 15:58

She phoned you to collect her at 3am, she vomited in your CHILD's bed and lied about it.
Yes, in theory some of it can be washed, and I'm sure you'd be happy with that if it was one of your family, but who expects a child to sleep in a bed that has been vomited on by a drunk adult and left to soak for 2 days.
Absolutely disgusting pig and I'd not be friends with her whether she pays or not.

Gh12345 · 09/04/2023 16:03

She should 100% be paying for new bedding and should be cleaning the mattress for you

BasiliskStare · 09/04/2023 16:10

@sunmonlight and @OnaBegonia - I realise this is deeply deeply unpleasant - personally I would put the sheets and duvet cover in a very hot wash - if the mattress pillows etc are in the same state well a different question. But duvet cover and pillow covers sheets etc will be fine though a hot hot wash.

Personally I would not ask for new bedding, probably not needed

CaptainCorellisBagpipes · 09/04/2023 16:20

OP, here is your mistake 1#

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

Why do you think your are responsible for your irresponsible friend ??

IMO she should pay for a complete set of bedding and pay for the petrol fetching her.

And tell her you aren't a taxi service.

getafringenotbotox · 09/04/2023 16:25

You were a good enough friend to pick her up, put her in bed and look after her.

If the roles had been reversed what would you have offered.

Replace bedding and if it were me that was lucky enough to have you as a friend I'd of bought you flowers or something you liked as a thank you.

Goldbar · 09/04/2023 16:25

Tell her to come back and clean it all up to a state acceptable for a young child to sleep in. If she can't do this, she'll have to replace it all.

MumOf2workOptions · 09/04/2023 16:34

Why only half????????
Take photos and send them to her and tell her what she owes you and budget for a whole new bed says it's wrecked the matress and call her out and send to the other "friend" who says she's mortified and show her up!!

TeaForMeandThee · 09/04/2023 16:37

OnaBegonia · 09/04/2023 12:17

Why does it all need replaced? sick is normally able to be washed out.

Really? You'd let your child sleep on the pillow, duvet (and if no mattress protector was on it) mattress after someone else puked on it? Bit different if it's your own (if you couldn't afford to replace them) but I wouldn't expect one of my kids to sleep in those covers again even if they were boiled. Gross.

I'd be so mortified if I was her, do some people have no shame? Any normal person would have owned up and been up scrubbing the walls and then ordered new bedding ASAP for delivery, if the mattress had no waterproof protector on that would also need to be ordered. You shouldn't need to ask for her to do this.

BunnyRabbitSandwich · 09/04/2023 16:40

OnaBegonia · 09/04/2023 12:17

Why does it all need replaced? sick is normally able to be washed out.

And the award for completely missing the point of the thread goes to… 🥇 🏆

lunar1 · 09/04/2023 16:44

If there was even a hint of a sick smell on the mattress she'd be paying to replace that too, otherwise she'd be completely cut off.

Fuck off would I be reusing bedding seeped in vomit for two days from an adult drunk. Has she offered to collect it all, bag it up and launder it herself?

Schnooze · 09/04/2023 16:47

She should be utterly mortified..