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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect her to pay for all of it?

336 replies

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:12

My home has two bedrooms.

On Thursday I went on a night out with friends and didn't drink. I went home early.

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

She slept in my son's bed as he wasn't here.

I went in yesterday to change the bedding to see she had been sick all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows. All the bedding will need to be replaced.

She says she doesn't remember being sick.

She has offered to pay half for new bedding. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
L3ThirtySeven · 09/04/2023 14:48

Gross. She knew and is faking amnesia. She’d have smelt it when she woke up. She should pay to replace all the bedding and count herself lucky the mattress can be salvaged. Then next time she is drunk, don’t bring her home.

EyesOnThePies · 09/04/2023 14:51

Dear friend, Thank you for the offer of half the cost of replacement bedding. However as you 100% caused the need for anything I have to buy new, I think it only fair you pay for it all. I will scrub and clean what I can, and then let you know what needs replacing. Oh, and it wasn’t the dog! It was pretty clear that it was the meal that we shared that evening! I’ll do my best to keep replacement costs down, and let you know”

MoreSleepPleasee · 09/04/2023 14:54

She needs to pay to replace it all, how cheeky to only offer half.

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 14:57

Banjaxx · 09/04/2023 14:40

Some people on here are either trolling or fucking nuts… she should pay in full to replace it all, end of.

anyone saying half is reasonable as it’s ‘used’ bedding that’s being replaced… it’s still going to cost the OP ‘new’ bedding prices though isn’t it.. why should she be out of pocket? She wasn’t the rank bitch who boked all over the place.

similarly anyone saying the op doesn’t need to replace any of the bedding and should just wash it is cracked in the bed… the duvet and the pillows were soaked through with 2 day old festering boke juice, if you’d be happy sleeping on that even after it had been cleaned you’ve very low standards of acceptable hygiene, there’s no way that’s not leaving a trace smell 🤮

OP, tell her you expect her to pay in full, she can deny it all she wants but the reality is she’s ruined your child’s bedding and it’s getting replaced. It can either be replaced at her expense with an apology and an intact friendship or you’ll replace it at your own expense and the expense of your friendship. Her call, give her a deadline for payment and tell her if it’s not in your account by then, (attach PayPal details) she can consider that a natural end point to your relationship.

Oh my God. This. Some superb phrasing right there. 😂🤢

Meggymoo777 · 09/04/2023 14:57

EyesOnThePies · 09/04/2023 14:51

Dear friend, Thank you for the offer of half the cost of replacement bedding. However as you 100% caused the need for anything I have to buy new, I think it only fair you pay for it all. I will scrub and clean what I can, and then let you know what needs replacing. Oh, and it wasn’t the dog! It was pretty clear that it was the meal that we shared that evening! I’ll do my best to keep replacement costs down, and let you know”

This ^^ is a perfect response... attach some photos if you have them too

ReadersD1gest · 09/04/2023 14:58

What's the not remembering thing? Is she really trying to suggest it wasn't her?
Cheeky mare! And no, of course half the cost won't cover it.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 09/04/2023 14:58

You're too good a friend. I'm glad you found it and not your poor boy.
There's no way she didn't know about it. Blaming the dog! If it was the dog she would have told you at the time.
I'd take the half payment and have done with it, but making it clear she can't come crash at yours after a heavy night out again.

JackHackettsMac · 09/04/2023 14:58

Eugh, she’s a lying dirty bitch. 🤬
Since when do dogs put the bedding back properly after sleeping in a bed??

I can’t believe you actually got up at 3am to go and fetch her drunken arse back to yours.

Definitely send her an invoice for the cost of new bedding and a pillow as well as your costs for being her out of hours taxi. I wouldn’t even do that for DS unless really pushed.

Why are you hanging out with such a vile creature? The fact that you came home early from your night out suggests that you’re probably not that compatible anyway. Ditch her sorry arse.

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/04/2023 14:58

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:12

My home has two bedrooms.

On Thursday I went on a night out with friends and didn't drink. I went home early.

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

She slept in my son's bed as he wasn't here.

I went in yesterday to change the bedding to see she had been sick all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows. All the bedding will need to be replaced.

She says she doesn't remember being sick.

She has offered to pay half for new bedding. Is this reasonable?

No - she should replace it altogether.

Without your help in the early hours of the morning she would have been left, drunk and vulnerable, probably in very cold weather, to get herself home on foot.

She repaid you by being so drunk that she vomited in your son's bed and left you to clean up after her. She didn't even tell you that she had been ill - and from the way you describe it, she can hardly have missed it.

Yes - you can wash the duvet, pillows etc - but why should you?

The mattress isn't washable - and no matter how much you surface clean it it will stink.

If the walls are papered they may need repapering.

She should think herself lucky that you are only asking for the bedding to be replaced.

At least you will know not to answer the phone to her in future when she rings you up as nissed as a pewt!

roarfeckingroarr · 09/04/2023 15:02

She should pay and she should've come straight back over to clean the room

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 09/04/2023 15:03

UndercoverCop · 09/04/2023 12:14

No that's not reasonable!! How can she not remember? She woke up in the morning and left so would've seen the disgusting mess she left. She vomitted in your child's bed I would be furious.
You've already gone above and beyond getting up at 3am to rescue her. Outrageous for her to even suggest going halves

This.

She may not have remembered the being sick bit but it would have been pretty obvious to anyone on waking what would have happened.

Tricky with how you play it next but regardless I think you know she's very disrespectful of your property and friendship. Keep this in mind going forward

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 09/04/2023 15:07

Would you seriously give your child bedding that some random drunk women had been sick on??????? Seriously? There isn't enough washing powder in Britain!

//

Totally. As we all know it's an epic job which isn't just a case of Chuck everything in the wash. There's scraping the chunks out, duvet will need airing for days if it's been stewing.

Your poor son OP

IF I'd been your friend I would be so embarrassed. I would have insisted on cleaning it myself, replacing what I'd ruined at the very least. This is sn adult we're talking not a small child who'd been poorly while sleeping over

Autumntimeagain · 09/04/2023 15:09

Send her this OP

I understand from mutual friends that you are saying that my DOG is the one who vomited in my sons bedroom, however we BOTH know this is a lie. (And if you continue to tell this lie, then our friendship will be over.)

You left vomit all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows ( with evidence of broccoli/sweetcorn/rice or whatever it was she ate) and then left without either telling me or even attempting to clean up. That was disrespectful and cowardly btw, and I thought that you were better than that.

This is NOT how a friend behaves, especially after I'd bloody well picked you up at 3am to help you out ! I did you a huge favour, and you want ME to pay 50% to replace bedding YOU ruined ?

I will NOT be paying 50% of the replacement bedding/pillows/mattress, YOU will be paying 100% to replace these because I've already had to SCRUB and sanitise 100% of the room/walls and strip and dispose of the ruined bedding !

I will send you the bill, which will be itemised, and if you pay this quickly and quietly, then we can draw a line under this and remain friends, but if you refuse, or continue to lie to our mutual friends, then our friendship cannot continue.

Then it is her decision whether or not to 'end' the friendship, but tbh, it'd be no great loss to lose a 'user' and a 'liar' from your friendship group...

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 09/04/2023 15:11

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:22

She has been very apologetic. She says she didn't know and had no sick in her hair etc.

I've just heard from a mutual friend that she is convinced it was the dog, who slept in there with her (upon her request) but it is nothing like dog vomit.

She sounds a bit weird to be honest and certainly creative with the truth

As an aside I used to be a trainer and regularly ran 5 day workshops on a hotel residential. The last night was infamous for delegates getting absolutely hammered. One time a young lady got very drunk and took a load of bar food back to her room. She was I'll in the night and tried to claim someone must have broken into her room, thrown chips everywhere then projectile vomited all over her room. Then left leaving her sleeping soundly like a baby Confused

uncomfortablydumb53 · 09/04/2023 15:13

Any true friend would've been mortified at vomiting all over the bed and paid all costs, not expect you to clean it up and replace
Send her your bank details with a list of the damaged items
Don't be afraid of confrontation, she has no shame
I would drop her as a friend after getting your money back

Cherrysoup · 09/04/2023 15:15

Please be brave and tell her she needs to replace everything, mattress included. That is disgraceful and blaming the dog, really? He was on the pillow, was he? Tell her you saw her food in there and that the mattress is ruined. Why should you be out of pocket because she was so pissed? Yuck.

Blondewithredlips · 09/04/2023 15:16

Disgusting, dirty bitch. Send her a link to this thread. Sorry you had to deal with this.

Northernsouloldies · 09/04/2023 15:18

She should be mortified and tripping over herself to put things right IE new bedding and a heartfelt apology for treating you and your home so badly.

Lordofmyflies · 09/04/2023 15:21

If she was that drunk not to notice she was sick, she was drunk enough not to realise your son had "goose down duvet, matching pillows, thick luxurious mattress topper and 800 thread count bedding. All of it from the White Company! £700 should cover it. She can check on line for prices. Dirty, rude woman.

VintageBlossomHill · 09/04/2023 15:24

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 12:24

Exactly my first thought! How profligate of the OP. Does she replace all the bedding every time her child wets the bed? Seems a bit CF of @sunmonlight tbh, like she’s seen this as an opportunity to buy new bedding at her friend’s expense! Like the woman whose car my horse jumped sideways into, who lied that she’d paid £180 to have her car valeted to get rid of the shattered window glass, when any household hoover would have done it for the price of the electricity it used.

Seriously @MavisMcMinty are you wise? I’d be thanking my lucky stars that I got off with £180. I know a lady who was killed when her car was in an collision with a horse. What if she or any passengers had been injured even something minor such as glass in eyes/scrapes. If you can afford to keep a horse. £180 is a pittance.

ReadersD1gest · 09/04/2023 15:25

VintageBlossomHill · 09/04/2023 15:24

Seriously @MavisMcMinty are you wise? I’d be thanking my lucky stars that I got off with £180. I know a lady who was killed when her car was in an collision with a horse. What if she or any passengers had been injured even something minor such as glass in eyes/scrapes. If you can afford to keep a horse. £180 is a pittance.

Broken glass would probably have destroyed a domestic hoover anyway.

VintageBlossomHill · 09/04/2023 15:28

@MavisMcMinty forgot to say - the accident I mentioned was 100% horse owners fault.

Passerillage · 09/04/2023 15:30

Surely it soaked through into the mattress too in that time? 😖

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/04/2023 15:30

KimberleyClark · 09/04/2023 14:16

Honestly I would be so ashamed if this was me. I’d insist on paying for new bedding and would never be able to look you in the eye again.

Same here - I would be mortified!

TakeMyStrongHand · 09/04/2023 15:32

This is fucking vile! I'm wondering if she was sick in the night, slept on top of the duvet and blacked out so wasn't immediately aware?? She must have smelt it and the fact she offered money straight away means to me that she did know but is a massive CF.

How does the mattress not need replacing too?

Charge her all of it and unless you are absolute best friends for many years cut that bitch out!