Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

[MusicLass]

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

I do this sometimes for lunches with friendsnbut also add a cheese board and cold meats, olives, pickle, grapes etc..to go.woth the bread. I'd be disappointed with just soup and bread and butter ( however nice the bread!)

In my "elsewhere in EU" culture soup is very common evening meal, would be great base for casual dinner.

We tend to have heavier lunches than UK though, in our case pasta/meat are normal lunch dish.

Anyway, being embarrassed about soup is absurd.

I guess it depends on the social situation, who they are to you, and if its lunch or a proper evening meal? I went to a friedns house and she served the most amazing soup made from scratch and her own bread, it was the best.

Agree with the consensus.
Lunch fine, not so much evening meal.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

then he can cook. Problem solved.

For lunch it would be lovely.
For dinner, I think it would be okay with something after but I would be surprised as I don't really consider soup to be a dinner food. Not unless it has noodles or pasta in

I love a hearty home made soup but it's a zero effort meal to serve and however tasty it was, I'd be underwhelmed by your efforts.

if you're just opening a can of soup, sure. If you're making a proper German midnight soup? a from scratch (as OP said) French Oinion Soup or Bouillabaise you're in the kitchen for hours and hours.

Awful?? Jesus Christ. Surely a starting point for someone else cooking for you is gratitude. Even if it’s not perfectly to your taste or habits?

Fwiw, I’d be thrilled with hearty homemade soup and bread for either meal and I’m a greedy bastard.

many English people are not very good at soup though, so they probably imagine you serving them a watery bland concoction 😁

That's made me laugh as I'm the opposite and like my soups to be quite 'thin'. My favourite is the white onion soup at The Ivy, it's like velvet. My mum's celery soup is a close second.

I really don't like the thick, lentil-based soups which taste more like a sauce. Particularly the general vegetable ones, or minestrone, rather than being one or two vegetables. Like thick sludge.

This thread proves that even if you like soup, we all like different types of soup!

i need more input on these awful, non-filling, watery soups you're all torturing yourselves with. Soup is a fantastic meal, yes even for dinner, especially if you have bread with it.

I’ve often served thick home-made soup plus bread and butter for lunch to guests who are staying in the house, but I’d usually serve something like a quiche (probably M&S) and salad afterwards.

People who think they make amazing soups quite often really don’t. It’s a no from me.

It's tricky - I voted YABU because if you'd invited people round for 'lunch', I'd consider soup, however hearty and homemade it was, more of a starter dish.

If you'd invited for a light lunch or it was more impromptu, soup would be fine. I mean, I do love soup and would be happy myself, but I can see your DH's view. Agree he should chip in or cook instead though 😂

I can't see anywhere in the OP where it says the husband is not willing to cook so not sure why the old cliche of 'if he doesn't like it he can cook' is being repeated so much.
It's entirely possible the OP likes cooking and invites guests herself. Her husband is allowed an opinion.

I would voice the same opinion if my husband invited guests for lunch or dinner and served soup. I would encourage him to make something more substantial, definitely for dinner. For lunch, depends who it is. Family coming from quite far away for the day - bigger lunch needed. Our parents popping in - soup is fine.

Decent home made soup or broth is lovely

I'd not want a dinner like a pasta dish for lunch

Fine for a casual lunch with friends. I've done homemade soup when friends have come over, and will add in some nice bread and cheese. I'd always make them aware beforehand that I'll be serving soup so they don't expect something more.

Based on what my aunt has been doing for decades (a woman who Does Things Properly and regularly provides lunch to visiting business guests to the house), lunch with soup and bread is fine for the first course but with a second course of salads and cold meats.

Lunch, absolutely. I always have a pot of soup on the go and if you’re in my house any time between about 11 and 2 you won’t escape being offered.
Dinner, not so much, but if you want some, you’re welcome!

For me, it would depend on the soup. If it was amazing and everyone always asks for the recipe, then crack on. If it's bog standard and I could make better myself (or better out of a tin!) then it's a no.

I love soup. Soup and sandwiches is one of my favourite meals of all time 😄

My DH feels soup is not dinner. Even just for our small family! He will not eat it for dinner and would go and make himself something else if I made it for dinner. So some people do have a thing about this. He is English. I am Irish.

Would I serve it to guests? Is there wine? If so, I wouldn't. I have no idea why but wine and soup is wrong in my head. If I was doing an easy meal for grown up dinner with wine, I'd do charcuterie, cheese, fruit etc and then pudding of some kind

I would love this - keep making gorgeous soups OP

NC as outing as probably not many people do this - friends of ours have an annual soup party where they serve 4 or 5 different types of soup. Everyone loves it. Especially me, I love soup!

You could do this, or even serve a smooth soup for starter and a hearty chunky one for main. Ooh even a pudding soup! Yummy! I want to come to your house!

If your DH has other ideas for catering he can crack on and cook them!

But are they any good though?

I get you like making them. And you declare them tasty. You sound like DM who has a huge vegetable patch and makes a myriad of soups from it. They are fucking awful. And she dishes them out to everyone. I think she likes the slightly smug "oh this? just soup I knocked up from vegetables I grew" but sadly the reaction is a fake "mmmmm this is tasty" as people try to eat it.

Naturally she then declares how everyone says it was tasty. A bit like the people who dish out homemade jam as presents because they like making it, not because it's any good, or anyone's actually asked for it. No one's going to say, "ooh, aren't you crap at making your own jam/soup" are they.

And DF eats it too. As he can't be arsed with her acting wounded if he doesn't. She'd say he happily eats it too.

Just a thought.

With good bread? For Lunch? Home made? Yes please!

Soup is a starter and not a main when having people over for either lunch or dinner. If your husband is embarrassed though (this isn’t a controllable emotion), whether you agree or not, you need to stop. I don’t understand why you would continue if it made the person you love feel like this. Plus… he is correct. If I went to my mum or nans and they gave us soup, it would be different to friends.