Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

[MusicLass]

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

I wouldn't serve soup for dinner, but I would for lunch.

If someone served me soup for dinner I wouldn't be thrilled. Perhaps alongside a charcuterie board in the centre of the table?

I agree with all the people here that suggest your DH cook rather than whinge!

Me too

He's not embarrassed enough to do any cooking himself so he needs to pipe down or step up.

I love soup and would love homemade soup with nice bread for lunch. My DH on the other hand likes soup, but doesn’t love it the same. Ask your guests to be honest with you and are they happy with what you serve or would they like anything else.

Serve it as a starter. Let your husband take care of the main course.

I’d eat a hearty lentil soup for breakfast or dinner. I love a good lentil soup!

I love a good soup, and grew up with a proper soup bring a dinner

many English people are not very good at soup though, so they probably imagine you serving them a watery bland concoction 😁

your DH can cook on soup days then, and cater to guests

He should be embarrassed that he can not or will not cook for guests himself if he doesn't like what you make.

Am sick of men complaining about things like this, fucking learn to make your own food and entertain your guests then!

Sounds awful sorry

There you go.
First reply is the only one you actually need!

to me soup is soup irrespective if it’s homemade or out of a tin
couldn’t think of an worse to be offered

If it’s a friend popping round and the main event is not lunch or dinner , fine. Otherwise no, soup is boring and would make me think the host could not be bothered. Although in your case OP you clearly have bothered. Soup is just a bit meh though sorry.

I've done exactly the same when old friends have come for lunch - homemade soup, good bread and fruit tart for afters. Best lunch you can have, in my opinion!

This.

I thinks it's time.he started doing it then.

Casual lunch is fine but we’d only serve it as a starter for dinner.

LOL’d at the PP who wouldn’t serve ‘cheap, nutrient free’ things like pasta or rice to guests……what? You wouldn’t serve a risotto to guests? How bizarre.

Being from a Mediterranean culture - the fear of guests feeling hungry or unfulfilled is ingrained and real 😅
For lunch I'd only serve soup as a starter or alongside other options - so a platter of cured meats and cheese, maybe some lightly grilled vegetables that they could pick at after the soup should they still be hungry. For dinner it would absolutely only be a starter.
I love a good soup with nice bead but it doesn't scream generosity which is so important in food focused cultures (Italian for me). The idea thay guests might leave and say to each other, gosh I'm still hungry, or "only soup?" with raised eyebrows is enough to keep me up at night.

Saying that, he has hands so he's more than able to contribute extra should he wish to - so long as you don't get mardy about him adding to your lunch/dinner plans.

Sounds great. I'm amazed at people who would go to someone's house, where the host served them a meal and turn their nose up at what was offered. If someone has prepared a meal for me, thanks very much, I'm grateful.

If you really can't bear the hunger make a sandwich when you get home.

I would say it was 'ok' for lunch if it was quite a laid back one. But if on a Sunday I'd would be put out, sorry. Now that nicer weather is starting to come in I'd be less keen on a soup lunch.

If it was the only thing for dinner it would be embarrassing though. Everyone would be expecting the main course.

I think maybe you need to acknowledge that you like soup a lot more than the general population, so I think your husband has a bit of a point.

Serve the soup with warm rolls, butter, side dishes of grated cheese, croutons, finely chopped ham or crumbled crispy bacon and anything else you can think of which goes with the soup. Makes it more of a meal with little extra effort from you and it will shut your DH up.

I’d expect something with it eg soup, bread and cheese, ham, assorted bits like that. Just soup and bread isn’t a meal to me.

For dinner - fine as a starter.

must admit I see soup as a homely food and probably wouldn’t serve it to guests apart from family. No idea why!

… but only for lunch

Soup is cheap food so not really for guests. If I was having someone to stay for a few days then soup would be fine but if I’d invited them specifically for lunch I’d serve more than soup.

If someone invited me around for a meal and I was only given soup I would find that a bit rubbish

Soup for lunch (or dinner if you’re a northerner)is excellent. For dinner (or tea, see above), it would need to be something very hearty that’s more akin to a stew.

However, I rarely entertain anyone who isn’t family or honorary family. If I was hosting a dinner party to impress DH’s boss (do people still do that or was that just in 70s sitcoms?) I’d attempt something more formal than soup.