Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

[MusicLass]

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

I mean if you are grasping for the ladle every time a guest visits, I would say it’s a bit OTT.

Eh? I’ve had soup and sandwiches dozens of times.

OK...I'm coming from this from a VERY "USA, Southern Girl" position. We're quite specific on what we call meals other than breakfast. "Dinner" refers to the larger, heavier meal of the day, whether is it served midday or evening. The lighter meal at midday is called lunch, with dinner in the evening. The heavier meal at midday is called dinner, with supper in the evening.

Given that, soup (with plenty of bread and butter, and/or maybe a salad) would be perfectly acceptable for lunch, if you specified a "light lunch" for those who may not be familiar with the nomenclature. IF you said "dinner," no matter which time of day, you'd better come up with something more substantial than soup, no matter how good it might be.

Oh dear. Did this sound better in your head?

You do know that the OP actively asked for opinions, right?

YANBU - however my heart would sink into my boots if you served me soup, as I am a self-conscious eater and find soup very difficult to eat without at least some mess - either I get food stains around my mouth, or a dribble down my chin, or it drips onto the tablecloth between bowl and mouth!

If I dropped round at a friends or was invited for a casual supper, I'd be pleased with a hearty soup and bread. Frankly, I'd be happy with someone taking the time and making the effort to cook for me. I come from a pretty working class background, so maybe that impacts my feelings on the matter, not sure.

Class has about as much to do with the topic as bum fluff imo.

I would be delighted but then I love soup even more so with with nice bakery or homemade bread and butter

My DH and a fair few friends are Mediterranean/East European and they all seem to have very strict rules around what is and isn't a soup and how and when it should be served

Interesting topic.
I think it is a matter of culture but also context.
For a last minute lunch offer, maybe after a walk or some activity, I could consider offering a thick soup for lunch, in cold days. But I would probably try to make it a bit special and add good starters.
For a planned lunch or dinner typically I would go overboard, starters, first and second, one of which substantial. I encourage guests to skip whatever they might not like.
I am a Mediterranean husband, my wife is Asian, so we can offer variety.
If I think that a dish is not enough, I will volunteer to cook something extra without criticizing, and she does the same when I am cooking.
There are ways to keep it low effort beyond doing just soups. For instance, Bolognese freezes just fine, I make large batches, so I can whisk up a very decent pasta in 30 minutes while drinking a glass of wine and chatting with the guests. Seafood sauces can be frozen too, and a dash of white wine and some parsley will liven them up considerably with little effort.
In the end soups can taste a bit samey as a single dish. So it is a risky shot unless your guests happen to love what you came up with.

My favourite food. Especially homemade and with bread. I’d be happy for dinner even though might feel a salad and afters even nicer afterwards. When I was a child lunch was the main meal and evening was high tea. I’d now find a cooked dinner midday too heavy. But isn’t the Mediterranean tradition to siesta afterwards? Yes he obviously should host his own guests and therefore Choose what he would think they’d expect. Embarrassed is a silly reaction imo.

I'm glad you settled the argument OP

Guess what I had for lunch yesterday?

Leek soup with home made bread. Hands up anyone else who made soup because of this thread.

I did @sashh. Pasta e fagioli - a very substantial tomato, pasta and bean soup. Not a soup that you can drink, but very definitely one you need a spoon for.

This is just what I'm looking for. Have some sweet potatoes need eating and they are so good for you!

As a vegetable grower in cold UK I'm so jealous of your productive garden 😍

@pollyglot thank you so much

Would love soup for lunch but I wouldn’t expect it for dinner, as others have said it always seems more of a starter. If you’ve been invited round specifically for dinner that is.

I don’t think it would be “embarrassing” either way though as you’ve made the effort still.

Soup and bread is fine and tasty. For guests I'd have some meat, cheese and salad out for anyone who fancies some in addition to the soup; it doesn't need to be complicated to prep and makes it all look more substantial. I'd skip dessert for lunch though.

Never mind worthless contributions, this is just embarrassing

If you want to have a good homemade soup for Sunday dinner served with crusty bread etc, then you do you. It’s your night as cook to rest.

if hubby wants a full on roast or something, then he can pull the finger and be cook.

frankly if I was your visiting friend, I would really enjoy whatever you choose to serve up. And I would like to know what I could bring along to assist such as desserts…

@RampantIvy

I have just added carrot and smoked mackerel to the left over leek soup, so I will see what that is like later (it's in the slow cooker).

We love soup for lunch, do it all the time! For dinner I sometimes serve soup as a starter, not as the whole meal.

I think soup is a great meal at lunch or dinner! As long as it's tasty and filling, I'd be thrilled to get it at a friend's house

fine for lunch but not for evening meal. if i was served soup for an evening meal i would be pretty hungry after

I would probably say a "light lunch" when inviting guests. Many people still have their main meal at lunch time so this would be only appropriate as a starter for a luncheon. If you wish to serve this in the evening, I would offer it as a light supper rather than dinner. Dinner definitely had connotations of a large meal whether it be midday or in the evening.

Soup is a lunch meal or a starter. Shouldn’t really be served as a main evening meal.