Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

[MusicLass]

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

I’d happily have that for lunchtime meal but not dinner.

I wouldn't serve guests just soup for any meal. I'm not a fan really.

MIL insists hers is incredible. It's really not.

As a Starter - yes
As dinner - no.

As lunch - yes with a nice sandwich, no if just bread.

First response nailed it. Why won’t he cook it himself?

Nothing wrong with soup for lunch for guests, with some bread. I personally wouldn’t expect to have soup for an evening meal if I was invited for dinner (evening meal, I know some people call lunch dinner) and I wouldn’t serve soup for dinner

I think soup is lovely for either lunch or dinner. If I serve soup for dinner for friends it is usually something like a clam chowder, mulligatawny or a shellfish and saffron one.

My mum makes us soup for lunch every time we go to her house and my DD who is 2 goes on and on about "nanny's soup"

It's actually really lovely

Have you tried making courgette and Brie? Or asparagus soup? Those are definitely my favourites, lovely 😋

It could be to do with his culture, I have to admit I wouldn't normally eat soup for dinner.

This too

I'm with your DH on this. I love a hearty home made soup but it's a zero effort meal to serve and however tasty it was, I'd be underwhelmed by your efforts. It's also a bowl of stuff that tastes the same. With a meal at least there is usually a variety of flavours on the plate.

Lunch - lovely.
Dinner - great as a starter, I would be a bit surprised if this was the main dish.

Easily fixed: get him to make food when you have guests over and that way he never again has to suffer the embarrassment of serving them delicious soup for lunch and possibly also dinner! You monster 😂

I think he has a point although any decent friend would just enjoy the soup. But yeah probably would be unexpected.

I'm always annoyed with myself when guests are too full from a big lunch to taste a dessert I've spent ages making. Soup sounds a great idea if you have a lovely pudding lined up! (Especially with homemade bread 😋)

I would be putting DH on kitchen duty for guests from now on. Definitely saves his 'embarrasment'

But I do agree there might be a cultural element. I think soup is considered a starter in Mediterranean countries like Spain/Italy.

Agree with pp that it's ok to serve guests soup for lunch, but not dinner (unless it's the starter)

Lunch or dinner, I love soup, especially when someone has made it themselves! You’d be my perfect host. If you need a very appreciative guest, I’m available!

He should be cooking obviously.

If it was an informal lunch with friends then soup, cold meat, cheese and salad would be fine. But for dinner it’s odd. You just as well make a casserole - whether meat or vegetable - like soups they can be cooked in advance and reheated.

Love a good soup-I would probably be after your recipes!

Although a bit of context would help-if you are inviting people around for a dinner party, soup is probably a bit under doing it, even if it is homemade. I would serve it to family as a "normal" meal though.

For a house guest, I think it is fine as this is just one meal and you’ll also be providing dinner etc. I’d be pretty gutted if I were invited for a couple’s lunch to be provided with soup and bread. An informal, impromptu gathering would be fine.

It's not conventional to have soup at dinner (as a main), but if it is super hearty i would be too full to have a main anyway! Bill it as a light dinner and guests will know to have a heavier lunch.

Soup, bread, cheese and wine. Yes please!

If he's that offended, then yes, he should offer to cook himself. However, I do agree with him. It's not enough for dinner, but perfect for lunch

Although I'm just grateful for anything (edible) if I'm a guest, but if I was hosting I wouldn't serve as main at dinner

I hate soup and always joke that it isnt food. It does nothing for me. It's like a drink. If someone offered me soup, I'd politely decline.

Lunch yes - I’d love that. Dinner, not so much though I could see it working as a kind of Wagamama dish with noodles, broth, meat and eggs kind of affair.

I love soup but, as someone else said, I'm not worried about the nutrition factor but how it tastes. I really like celery, broccoli, red pepper etc but not so much the thick, lentil heavy, rustic soups.

Could it be that perhaps your soups aren't to everyone's taste?

Otherwise, yes as a casual lunch but not every time you have people over.

A homemade soup made with filling protein isn't like a drink. You would decline IRL? You'd look rude and ungrateful.