Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

[MusicLass]

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

But have you heard of its lid of a cheesy crouton?

It’s such a low effort meal (especially if brought straight out the freezer) that it does feel very “I can’t be bothered”. That may be ok if it’s a very informal lunch I.E. someone has popped by unexpectedly but if it’s an invited lunch then I would be underwhelmed. Soup doesn’t fill me up so would be hungry again not that long after

Never great for an invited dinner though

However you DH could support in the kitchen if he feels that strongly about it

I wouldn’t be a fan

Sounds lovely to me! Being able to make tasty and nutritious soups which are a meal in themselves is an art form. Soup is a commonplace and appreciated meal where I am, for lunch or supper, and tend to be as thick as stews. I can't stand the thin, clear watery variety though.

I am (possibly unfairly) picturing your husband as a 'meat and potatoes and must I eat the veg' man, and rolling my eyes.

I am not a soup fan, would never choose it in a restaurant.

But for lunch with loads of bread, fine. Not for dinner or your main meal whether you have it in the evening or middle of the day.

I'm with your husband - sorry OP. I'd find soup very disappointing as a guest. To me, soup is a starter, diet food or a quick meal when you are time-pressured.

I would never serve soup to guests as a meal , unless it was as a starter. I just don't feel it's substantial enough.

A watery soup isn't a decent soup though

And it's clear that whilst some people think soup is insufficient effort to show your guests, plenty of people don't know how to make a decent bone watery filing soup !

Soup needn't be thin and watery. I would be embarrassed to serve such a soup. I wouldn't serve it at dinner, but I would for an informal lunch. A thick chunky soup is very filling, especially If served with crusty bread and a selection of cheeses and/or meats.

Depends on the soup: if it’s hearty, then great as a meal, but if it’s lighter, then only as a starter.
Hearty soups IMHO are chowders, leek and potato, pea and ham and gulaschsuppe (more stew-like) Etc.
Lighter would be gazpacho, consommé, minestrone, tomato, vegetable, chicken noodle, French onion Etc.
However, if you are able to make them hearty enough by adding extra meat or vegetables and home-made croutons, bread or cheese, then that’s good enough!

Sounds delicious. Nothing nicer than homemade soup!

For a light lunch it's fine and I would be very happy to eat it. Not for a main meal though. No real explanation as to why though. At least not in a nutritional sense. It just doesn't feel at all special or substantial enough for guests.

Interesting references to guests. I wonder if various TV reality shows have changed expectations of what normal hospitality should look like. I think some of us are talking about different events.

Almost all of my eating with friends, whether hosting or hosted, is sharing our usual family meals. Good healthy food, great conversation, being part of each others lives. Very few fancy dinner parties, with strangers meeting, where the host puts on a show, and everyone pretends to be something they're not.

I am a bit on the fence with this.
Soup + bread ( home made or bought) would be fine for a very light informal lunch but I would let my guests know in advance so they are not expecting a more substantial meal .

A more formal lunch or dinner it would be a starter with a more carb heavy main course .

No I hate soup, I see it as something people eat when dieting or when sick. I wouldnt like to be given that as the only option. I cant really tolerate huge liquidy meals to be honest so it would make me sicky

Almost all of my eating with friends, whether hosting or hosted, is sharing our usual family meals. Good healthy food, great conversation, being part of each others lives. Very few fancy dinner parties, with strangers meeting, where the host puts on a show, and everyone pretends to be something they're not.

So your idea of a dinner party is not just a more formal meal with a bunch of friends - as in a restaurant - but an event at which “everyone pretends to be something they’re not”. You know it’s not a murder mystery party right? 🤔

A homemade soup can be amazing. I would do homemade soup as a lunch, served with a plantbased cheese toastie to dip in it, and maybe som houmous somewhere involved 😋

I love making soups full of flavour and interesting veggie protein.

My kids' fav meal is my homemade tomato soup with pasta and lentils in it, crusty hot bread to dip in.

I wouldn't serve soup as a tea time meal to guests, though. It's a lunch meal and a substantial one if done well.

I've bought loads of parsnip to make spicy parsnip soup as a starter today, followed by spiced roast califower with tahini sauce and chermoula on a bed of houmous. Can't wait for lunch 😋

I would probably serve sandwiches or pasties with the soup. And that would only be at lunchtime or late evening, say after a theatre show.

I'm from a culture where food is a big thing, and if someone visits you give them proper food. Soup would be embarrassing no matter how 'from scratch' it was. That's not proper food to me. But I know it's perfectly acceptable food, just not for hosting people.

I wouldn't serve just soup to guests as a stand alone meal only as part of a meal. So I am with your dh on this one, I come from a very hospitable culture. However, he should cook if it bothers him that much.

Sounds lovely, especially with good bread and butter.

I love home made soup and bread, so I'd be pleased to be served it by a friend.

It probably is a generational thing! I’m on my 50s and do it because my mum always did it-my sister’s exactly the same!

Now I'm intrigued and want to know more. You have a stock pot permanently on the go? What do you put in it and is it on the hob?

Homemade soup, lovely crusty bread and dessert sounds perfect . As long as the bread came with real butter

I also agree with him, if it's for dinner. A pasta dish with Focaccia etc, would tick all your boxes. For lunch, it's fine. I do know lots of people who say it doesn't matter what the soup is, it just doesn't fill them up, unless it is practically a stew.