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AIBU?

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Original poster

to wear my asexual ring

327 replies

Nimbostratus100 · 07/04/2023 09:58

asexuals often wear a black ring on the middle finger of the right hand edited by MNHQ

I think it would be very useful if this was widely recognised and understood,

Then asexuals could go to pubs, clubs, social events and no one would be hitting on them, friendships started at work or hobbies would not be prone to misunderstandings, and accusations of leading people on, and social arrangements could be made without the confusion about whether it is meant to be a date of not.

asexuals would also recognise each other

I think it is similar to earing a wedding ring to say you are in a relationship, wearing an asexual ring to signal that you are not available for a sexual relationship, even though you may be known to be single

I am expecting a load of hostility and aggression on here, because there always is, whenever asexuality is mentioned, but that wont bother me at all, because some people will read this, and learn to recognise the asexual ring, and that is all I want.

OP posts:
thegrain · 07/04/2023 10:11

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/04/2023 10:09

Aren't most people not attracted to about 99% f the population? "No ta" should be enough without special jewelry or everyone learning codes. I mean I'd need a 'no thanks unless you're 6' and read' which would be complicated.

You don't actually have to give an explanation and explain asexuality to randoms. Your "no" should not be the start of a negotiation whatever the reason.

The symbol for that is a badge in the shape of a tall bookshelf with a ladder

TheSingingBean · 07/04/2023 10:11

Sorry, wear not where

x2boys · 07/04/2023 10:12

Nimbostratus100 · 07/04/2023 10:05

yes, there is always those men, but it is the same if you just tell them "no thanks I am asexual" - they offer to "cure" you - nothing can be done to avoid idiots like that

Show quote history

It's been a long time since I went out and was hit.on by unwanted men ,but I found no thanks and moving away from them generally did the trick.

titchy · 07/04/2023 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BelindaMelinda · 07/04/2023 10:13

I still get hit on whilst wearing a wedding ring op, as I'm sure still happens to many.

It will make zero difference. In fact, I'd guess that for some men it would make you all the more appealing as they'd view it as a challenge - the same type of men who think they can turn lesbians.

Flowerly · 07/04/2023 10:13

OP - no one cares.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/04/2023 10:13

Surely @thegrain the bookshelf ladder is for shorter readers. Tall readers wouldn't need it.

This is why badges don't work! <throws hands up>

SaveYouASeat · 07/04/2023 10:13

Why are you asking people if you can wear a ring? Just put if on if that’s what you want. No one cares. 🤣

MoongazyHare · 07/04/2023 10:14

thegrain · 07/04/2023 10:07

You shouldn't be having to explain your sexuality to get people to leave you alone.

This.

Lesbians don’t wear a special sign. If men approach them, they are obviously just as much not interested as you, and just say No, thanks. No further explanation needed. The same is also true for women who are married but don’t wear a ring, women with male partners but unmarried, women who aren’t gay but just don’t fancy the man who approaches them.

How is it any different for you?

As a society, we don’t ask people to advertise their sexuality because it’s just not a necessary part of everyday life.

OP, you started another thread yesterday where you stated something which you also knew would result in ‘hostility and aggression’. Are you just trying to goad people into disagreeing with you for some reason?

Phoebo · 07/04/2023 10:14

Sounds like a great idea, wear it. The only thing is non asexuals are likely to not know about it (although is it the same finger as the wedding ring). You also could just say, sorry not interested.

Gufo · 07/04/2023 10:15

I'd never heard of this but I don't really notice what jewellery people wear and apart from wedding rings don't ever assume it has a deeper significance. I guess the more asexual people that do this, the wider the awareness. I bet some idiots will see it as a challenge though!

Windywuss · 07/04/2023 10:15

The problem with a lot of these labels that people apply to themselves is that it's asking everyone else to recognise it and expend energy on frankly, giving a shit. I'm afraid it's not how the world works.

What we need is a more respectful society where if someone approaches someone else because they're attracted and is rejected for ANY reason, then they accept that with good grace. I understand that you don't want to be approached at all but that has applied to heterosexuals too for centuries.... Sometimes heterosexual women would like to go get a drink/sit on a train/ sit in a park...etc without being hit on or commented on. If having some sort of signal to indicate you don't want male attention was going to work, women would have worn a t shirt or ring or waved a flag many years ago.

SaveYouASeat · 07/04/2023 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh god, was that the same poster? 😅

SunnieShine · 07/04/2023 10:15

Dandy0911 · 07/04/2023 10:08

😂😂😂

Show quote history

😁😁😁

quietnightmare · 07/04/2023 10:15

Karwomannghia · 07/04/2023 10:01

Unfortunately I think some men would see this as a challenge, if they knew what it meant.

This

It's like when people see the 'P' sign on a car that's just passed their test and some idiots think it's funny to drive close to them etc (personal experience)

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 07/04/2023 10:17

The thing is , the people that would notice and take it into account, are mindful enough to behave decently even without one.

The others wouldn't give a shit, or worse take it as a challenge.

Tabasco007 · 07/04/2023 10:18

Nimbostratus100 · 07/04/2023 09:58

asexuals often wear a black ring on the middle finger of the right hand edited by MNHQ

I think it would be very useful if this was widely recognised and understood,

Then asexuals could go to pubs, clubs, social events and no one would be hitting on them, friendships started at work or hobbies would not be prone to misunderstandings, and accusations of leading people on, and social arrangements could be made without the confusion about whether it is meant to be a date of not.

asexuals would also recognise each other

I think it is similar to earing a wedding ring to say you are in a relationship, wearing an asexual ring to signal that you are not available for a sexual relationship, even though you may be known to be single

I am expecting a load of hostility and aggression on here, because there always is, whenever asexuality is mentioned, but that wont bother me at all, because some people will read this, and learn to recognise the asexual ring, and that is all I want.

What does it mean to be asexual, is it just that you are happy being single and not that bothered about sex and sexual relationships?

Planesmistakenforstars · 07/04/2023 10:19

Can you not just wear a cheap ring on your wedding finger?

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/04/2023 10:20

thegrain · Today 10:05
I'm not asexual and would also not like to be hit on or harassed please”

Quite. I wear a ring. A wedding ring. Never stopped dodgy men trying.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 07/04/2023 10:20

I don't think it's necessary. I'm single, but doesn't mean I'm interested if someone 'hits on me' in a pub or wherever. But I don't need a symbol to communicate that, I just let them know I'm not interested. I hate being bothered by men when I'm out with my friends anyway, it's so rude and intrusive.

Do you think that gay people need a ring as well so that they don't get approached by members of the opposite sex? Bisexual people can have one so that both men and women know to approach, I suppose 😂

NotAnotherBathBomb · 07/04/2023 10:22

thegrain · 07/04/2023 10:05

I'm not asexual and would also not like to be hit on or harassed please

Maybe we all need to wear one of these and have them universally accepted 😜

to wear my asexual ring
crochetmonkey74 · 07/04/2023 10:22

Do whatever you like OP but don't expect your jewellery to be cared about or even noticed by anyone else.

moonriverandme · 07/04/2023 10:23

If it gives you a sense of control wear the ring op. However I had no idea about such a ring & probably the majority of people dont either, unless you kèep your hand in view, almost infront of your face, men who would approach you wouldn't know not to, assuming they knew or respected the significance of said ring in the first place.

AndTheSurveySays · 07/04/2023 10:25

What kind of delusional world do you live in op that wearing a ring will stop unwanted attention?

ItchycooParkCult · 07/04/2023 10:25

Oh god why?

what’s wrong with just saying ‘no thanks’?

im not asexual but have no desire to date and just say no thanks. Friendships never get weird because I’m a normal human and say I’m not looking for anyone if it does get to that stage.

why do you need some special sign to show what the vast majority of adults can navigate every day?

if it’s to stop chancer men. Sorry. It won’t stop them. They’ll still try their luck. Getting a bit of confidence, assertiveness and an epic resting bitch face is all you need.

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