to wear my asexual ring

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asexuals often wear a black ring on the middle finger of the right hand edited by MNHQ

I think it would be very useful if this was widely recognised and understood,

Then asexuals could go to pubs, clubs, social events and no one would be hitting on them, friendships started at work or hobbies would not be prone to misunderstandings, and accusations of leading people on, and social arrangements could be made without the confusion about whether it is meant to be a date of not.

asexuals would also recognise each other

I think it is similar to earing a wedding ring to say you are in a relationship, wearing an asexual ring to signal that you are not available for a sexual relationship, even though you may be known to be single

I am expecting a load of hostility and aggression on here, because there always is, whenever asexuality is mentioned, but that wont bother me at all, because some people will read this, and learn to recognise the asexual ring, and that is all I want.

I'm afraid unless you (very loudly) state "this is my asexual ring, and thereby I'm an asexual person" when entering a pub it won't make a difference and might still get approached by a random bloke. But a smile and "no thanks" should suffice

It's not rude it's realistic.

Do women in their sixties still get 'hit on'? Yes of course.

Does it happen on a daily basis in the same way that it happens to a woman in her twenties? If course not.

This seems less of a problem than the OP clearly wanting everyone to know that she is asexual even if they have no interest in knowing this information, which most people really haven't.

Sorry but I’m not seeing the distinction between that and very close friendships? Romance is an inextricably linked to a physical sexual relationship.

I can (and do) give a friend a bunch of flowers, a hug, kiss on the cheek and tell her that I love her and the only difference with my partner doing that for me would be a sexual bond. One is romance and one is a deep friendship that is comparable to a family connection.

Is it a requirement for an exclusive relationship at that level or something else I’m missing.

I think they were saying they were repulsed by the narcissistic, boring, relentless labelling of people, the insistence on collapsing all individual human differences into a series of stereotypes and categories, and the navel-gazing fascination with your own incredibly interesting personality.

On the days you don't have sex with your DP you don't become just friends, do you? That bond is still there, that level of love is still there, that relationship is still there. It doesn't exist only when you have sex. It doesn't exist because of sex. If sex is important to you, then it is needed in your relationship. But for asexual people, sex isn't needed in their relationship.

Why is it the person being asexual? I understand asexual relationships. After all, an emotional affair is sometimes as destructive as a sexual affair. A no hanky panky deception can still destroy a long term relationship. It's the use of it as a label for a human being that's discordant to me. Is it a shield? An invisible force field that will bounce all but it the chosen few off, never to bother the wearer again?

I doubt a ring can do that. I know a few people who can dissuade potential suitors/invaders with their personalities though...

As an old style asexual, I hate these modern cultural appropriation of the the word that defines me.

I separated from my singular parent, who separated from their singular parent all the way back to the beginning of life on this planet. You weird folk then started doing unspeakable things with your appendages and orifices - and now you want to steal the word that defines us. Wear whatever ring you like, but get your own word thief.

I read you post and like most a few days down the line I will have completely forgotten and not care so crack on.

Truth is most people won't know or give a shit but good for you 😂

Just say 'Not interested' Like the rest of us 🙄

LMAO. This wins the thread.

I have come across two instances in the last two days where innocent people have been harmed by unmerited hostility and aggression

You keep using those words, I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

Inconceivable!

I can’t speak for everyone but DP and I are friends yes. I consider it an essential component of a sexual relationship but sex isn’t an essential component of a friendships of which I would consider at least two others I have on the same level as the friendship I have with DP. They give me a deep connection spiritually and intellectually alongside affection and love too. They are attractive people to spend time with. A similar brand new relationship with another person could absolutely be considered an emotional affair I suppose.

Why do you think people who don’t identify as asexual wouldn’t understand or experience an asexual meaningful bonds? I should think it’s quite unusual to only ever experience that kind of bond with sexual partners tbh.

"Asexual" is a sexuality. It's what you are. It's not something you're choosing to do. You don't choose to not be able to feel sexual attraction ever, for anyone, at any time. It is literally the inability to experience sexual attraction for people.

Change it to "gay" and read your last paragraph.

Why do you think people who don’t identify as gay wouldn’t understand or experience gay meaningful bonds? I should think it’s quite unusual to only ever experience that kind of bond with sexual partners tbh.

"Gay meaningful bonds" doesn't make any more sense than "asexual meaningful bonds". What you mean is "non-sexual". Non-sexual is not the same as asexual.

You're seeing the differences between relationships you have with people who you who do not feel sexual attraction to, and those people who you do have a sexual attraction to, through the lens of a person who is capable of feeling sexual attraction. Asexual people also see differences between those relationships, but sex/sexual attraction isn't a factor.

actually, a bit beside the point of this thread, but no, that isn't my experience at all. yes it does decrease after 30, but then it rises again hugely after 50, particularly with single women and older men who assume you are flattered and desperate, and dont necessarily take "no" - I certainly have had far more attention in my 50s that my 30s and 40s. Men seem to think you are the low hanging fruit

And you think these men will know what your ring means? 😬

What does the ring give you that saying "no thanks I'm asexual" doesn't? To these men and young women that are treating you as "low hanging fruit" (which is a horrible phrase). They aren't asexual so the ring wouldn't let you link up with them in some sort of community so what does the ring give you over and above using your words? I genuinely don't get it

It does seem odd. You don’t want attention so you wear something to draw people’s attention to the fact you don’t want their attention 🤷‍♀️. Reminded me of this

I’m really confused then because:

Non-sexual is not the same as asexual

Does not follow:

Asexual people also see differences between those relationships, but sex/sexual attraction isn't a factor

I would notice the jewellery because I notice jewellery but beyond thinking "that's nice/ odd/ ugly whatever" I wouldn't think anything else.

I don't like the idea of rings signalling marital status, availability, whatever anyway.

Neither my husband or I have wedding rings. I have always worn a ring on the "wedding ring" finger but it changes from day to day depending on what I'm wearing.

Wear what jewellery you like, no one cares. Very few people will know what it means.

This thread and OPs other posts are inconsistent. Just screams lonely or attention seeking to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yep, here we are talking for hours about something that even those who claim to be it, can't define.

Ffs, life is too short. Wear the bloody ring, wear a fabulous hat, stick a flower in your hair.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, but you gives a crap.

Why the need to explain your sexual preference to anyone?
Do what anyone else does and just tell them that your not interested.
No need for drama.

Well.quite in 50 this year and I'm well.aware im not the slim pretty young thing I once was ,on the rare occasion ,s I do go out ,nobody hits on me and even some of my more attractive friends are hardly swatting men away like flies!