to wear my asexual ring

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asexuals often wear a black ring on the middle finger of the right hand edited by MNHQ

I think it would be very useful if this was widely recognised and understood,

Then asexuals could go to pubs, clubs, social events and no one would be hitting on them, friendships started at work or hobbies would not be prone to misunderstandings, and accusations of leading people on, and social arrangements could be made without the confusion about whether it is meant to be a date of not.

asexuals would also recognise each other

I think it is similar to earing a wedding ring to say you are in a relationship, wearing an asexual ring to signal that you are not available for a sexual relationship, even though you may be known to be single

I am expecting a load of hostility and aggression on here, because there always is, whenever asexuality is mentioned, but that wont bother me at all, because some people will read this, and learn to recognise the asexual ring, and that is all I want.

Yes, you’re right: this is exactly what the OP is doing. She did the same on another disingenuous thread yesterday, trying to put words in people’s mouths, presumably to then screenshot and take elsewhere to prove how terrible mumsnetters are.

I’m gay. Not interested in men, never have been, never will be. I don’t run round wearing jewellery with rainbows or entwined women’s symbols or similar in the hope a bloke will notice that, know what it means, and respect that.
I just use my big girl words.

Basically men won’t listen to a woman if she says no, but will respect another man’s property.

That is seriously outdated interpretation of what marriage is. These days, wedding rings indicate that somebody is married. That is all.

First time I’ve heard this was a thing.

I have a black ring I wear on my middle finger. I wear it next to my wedding ring, and another ring that will probably turn out to be code for ‘I fucking love gang bangs’. I’m about to be in the club confusing everyone (or would be, if I went to clubs).

I guess it could be a good way for asexuals to recognise each other

This 'rule' isn't well understood and i doubt it will be accepted. I think you'll struggle to 'raise awareness ' as nobody's that interested but let's say it becomes a 'thing'.....
What about the asexuals who don't want to wear jewellery...especially a black ring? Or what about the goths/emos etc who just fancied wearing a black ring?
What should I wear if I'm up for a relationship but not a one night stand? Or happy for a bit of banter but nothing more? Or miserably married?
Would people then start misappropriation/high jacking it for other reasons eg I'm not asexual but I don't want any one to come on to me tonight. No one should need to wear a ring to ward off sexual preditors.
If it's to attract other people like yourself, I think you're going to do as we all do. Use your eyes ears and words.

I dated a man who called himself demisexual once. In reality it meant he did too many drugs to reliably get hard.

I'm autistic so I often miss subtle cues.

I would never have known that was what that ring meant. I do now.

But. Most people don't know. And surely it's better to be clear and just say "sorry I'm not interested"?

I don't think that's an autistic thing necessarily - a lot of people would miss a ring

Surely it's against the Talk Guidelines to drag stuff from one thread to another?

Why do they need it, though? I would like a way to recognise people who aren’t arseholes, people who don’t talk endlessly about mortgage rates, people who like the same comedy I do, and so on. I usually manage to find out if they meet my criteria for friendship by talking to them. The same can be done for sexual compatibility. Sexuality is only one facet of a person’s personality, and usually not remotely the most interesting one. It definitely doesn’t need a special secret sign.

I would normally agree, but this OP has posted using the exact same goady language in this OP to the one yesterday, saying she knows her thoughts will attract ‘hostility and aggression’ here. She then tries to goad people into providing that to prove some sort of point.

I don’t believe that is posting ‘in good faith’.

I don't understand why asexual people need a ring to recognise each other to be honest. Can't you just talk to people?

are you saying it is normal to be repelled by human asexuals?

Are you saying it is normal to eat Lego bricks?

(I'm assuming this is some kind of game where we interpret a PPs words on the silliest way possible)

I take your point, but I still don't think it's right to do it.

TBH I'm not sure communicating you're asexual will help. We've had people on other threads explaining that being asexual doesn't mean you don't want relationships, or that you can't have and enjoy sex. It might work better to just communicate what you are and aren't interested in in practical terms at relevant points. Do you have a partner Jean? No, I'm not interested in relationships. No, I'm asexual, I prefer to be single.

When it comes to going out, do you actually want to hang around in pubs and clubs on your own? I can see why people would think you were trying to pick up a partner if you do that. May be better to go with a group of friends which lots of people do without obviously being labelled as available or unavailable.

There are two interesting things that have come from this thread.

Goths might be missing out on romantic and sexual relationships due to wearing black rings. They need to be informed immediately!

romdowa · Today 10:28
I know in Poland for example, they wear their wedding on the third finger on the right hand, not the left. It could mean other things in other cultures as well.

I never knew that! I wonder if other countries wear their wedding ring on the right hand? In the past in the UK some divorced women would change the ring from left to right hand (invariably the ones who kept Mrs instead of going Ms). Dont think that's a thing anymore now.

Me neither tbh. Surely people’s majority of relationships in their lifetimes are asexual (otherwise known as friendships).

maybe I’m unusual but I can’t pinpoint one friendship that has centred on either parties sexual partnerships.

People notice more than you think. If you go out without shoes on I guarantee someone will notice but no one is looking at people’s feet

Come again? 😵‍💫

explaining that being asexual doesn't mean you don't want relationships, or that you can't have and enjoy sex
So how is it different from everyone else in a way at needs to be recognised?! 🤯

That’s a strange comparison. It’s quite unusual to see a person out and about barefoot (unless in a park or on a beach) so yes, lots of us would notice something like that. We’d notice and then we’d all just get on with our day, surely?

Rings on people’s fingers are extremely commonplace. Not the sort of thing I’d ever notice.

(Mind you I have form for being really unobservant to the point of not noticing when someone’s lost two stone or drastically changed their hairstyle).

Feet are bigger than one finger and so no shoes are much easier to spot than a ring.

Also no shoes is unusual so you would pick up on it, a ring is normal so seeing which finger it is on and what colour it is is harder.

There are more relationships than just "friendship" or "sexual". Some asexual people still want romantic relationships, loving relationships, partners. So if you want a romantic relationship as an asexual person, then it's kind of important to find someone who shares that same sexuality don't you think?

What's that got to do with wearing a ring that signifies something?

I would notice a wedding ring. I would notice an engagement ring. If I was interested in the person that would be a "they're taken" from me.

I didn't know until today that a black ring on a specific finger meant the person was asexual.

And surely it's the same as if anyone makes an unwanted advance on you? You just say "no thanks"?

I don't understand why you have to explain any more than that?