to wear my asexual ring

[Nimbostratus100]

asexuals often wear a black ring on the middle finger of the right hand edited by MNHQ

I think it would be very useful if this was widely recognised and understood,

Then asexuals could go to pubs, clubs, social events and no one would be hitting on them, friendships started at work or hobbies would not be prone to misunderstandings, and accusations of leading people on, and social arrangements could be made without the confusion about whether it is meant to be a date of not.

asexuals would also recognise each other

I think it is similar to earing a wedding ring to say you are in a relationship, wearing an asexual ring to signal that you are not available for a sexual relationship, even though you may be known to be single

I am expecting a load of hostility and aggression on here, because there always is, whenever asexuality is mentioned, but that wont bother me at all, because some people will read this, and learn to recognise the asexual ring, and that is all I want.

The more I think about this, the more ridiculous I think it is. Many people, married and single, don't want to be hit on. They just say 'I'm not interested, thanks' (or words to that effect.

Should lesbians wear something to signify that they are not interested in heterosexual men?

My team at work is responsible for sending out the staff newsletter. I was asked (by a member of the inclusion team) to include an article to 'raise awareness of what it means to be asexual'. How is the relevant in the workplace? I totally get why gay people want to be able to open at work and talk about their BF/GF/DH/DW, etc...but why would you ever need your colleagues to know you're asexual?

I would have no idea what that ring meant. So that wouldnt help you (however I do want to find out where all these pubs and places are that want to "hit on you"......... I feel Im missing out!!)

yes, celibate now

nearly 60

and yes, have had sexual relationships in the past, I tried very hard to be straight, I didn't know I was asexual because I had never heard of it, and I messed a lot of people around and broke hearts, unintentionally.

Loads of people are in committed relationships but unmarried though, and still go to bars with friends and are not looking for attention, what do they do? Presumably the same as anyone who gets hit on and isn’t interested, an attempt to shut it down with a ‘I’m going to chat to my friends now, bye’, or if needed a more direct ‘I’m not interested, bye’. Can’t you just do that? I don’t get why you feel any need at all to discuss your sexuality with strangers. In fact even single people who ARE looking to date won’t actually be interested in the majority of people they meet, so they will also manage this by simply saying they’re not interested.

there is not mental gymnastics required, another poster asked how to describe being repulsed by the word asexuality, and you said "normal"

so my question was,

Are you saying it is normal to be repulsed by asexuality

you have avoided answering. I am assuming the answer is yes

and MN have let your post stand, and I am glad they have, as it is very informative

Do you think because you are asexual you aren’t heterosexual? How does that work? Unless you were in same sex relationships you are not gay.

Quite.

Workplaces are having to deal with enough shit without having to send out memos asking people to consider that Doreen in reception might be the sort of siren being that men and/or women just have to try and have sex with when they see her and she might not like it.

🙄🙄🙄

or maybe I have come across two instances in the last two days where innocent people have been harmed by unmerited hostility and aggression, and being old enough and ugly enough not to care who is rude to me, I am highlighting both instances, so people reading have a better understanding, and those people who feel to vulnerable to try and stick up for themselves get some protection

of course I am posting in good faith

and people do read, and people do understand better, so that is why I do it.

Admittedly MN post deletion has become a lottery these days, but I can't recall the last post I had deleted, except when I made the unfortunate mistake of posting in an entire thread that got deleted.

That being said, I'm quite offended by being called "informative". Not sure that's in the spirit of this thread.

(Go on - I dare you. I double dare you.)

No, they said they were repulsed by the ridiculous article pp had linked to with all the different flags and flavours of a sexuality. Because that article was a load of self absorbed wank. It's perfectly reasonable to be repulsed by people who are so self absorbed and dull that they think they need to micro label the precise amount and type of people they might be sexually attracted to and then make it a key part of their identity.

But they don't need protecting if they say no thanks. Not in a normal situation like a club or work situation anyway. And if its not a normal situation then other factors probably need to be considered more. You seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill atm

I'm fairly attractive for a 40 something woman - not everyone's cuppa tea but nice enough. I don't get hit on regularly these days. I must say unless you're movie star gorgeous I find it a bit unbelievable that a 60 year old woman gets hit on enough for this to be anything like a problem that needs a solution!
No disrespect meant to any 60 year old women - but let's be real, being hit on decreases exponentially the further away from 30 that you get (and thank goodness!) or am I clueless? I have plenty of female friends in the higher age brackets who are also very attractive and they don't get hit on either.

how are you defining romance?

OP, those posters used the word ‘repelled’ not ‘repulsed’. There is a subtle difference in meaning. To me, ‘repulsed’ suggests disgust, while ‘repelled’ doesn’t. I realise many people use them interchangeably, or may interpret them the opposite way to how I do, but I’m just pointing it out in case it helps you feel less offended.

Im genuinely surprised you’re in your sixties.

I can assure you I've walked through town barefoot on more than one occasion and people don't notice.
My teens cringed though.

OP, those posters used the word ‘repelled’ not ‘repulsed’. There is a subtle difference in meaning.

I don't think the OP needs lecturing on subtlety ...

Attraction, affection, emotional fulfilment etc. The stuff that goes deeper than friendship. The stuff non-asexual people also want, but without it leading to sex.

yes, celibate now

nearly 60

and yes, have had sexual relationships in the past, I tried very hard to be straight, I didn't know I was asexual because I had never heard of it, and I messed a lot of people around and broke hearts, unintentionally.**
*
My god your 60 and think asexuality is a thing, its just life isn't it! What do you mean you tried hard to be straight, are you a women, did you ever have relationships with women? Seems like you tried some relationships with men, they didn't work out, sounds like due to your feelings, but either way, they fizzled, went sour, lack of commitment, you broke them off, that's it, it doesn't need a label, it just you. God the navel gazing that we do now to try and work out who/what we are is just astounding IMO. Bit I though it was all the young people, I'm astounded that your 60. Aren't a lot of women, once in the menopause stage a bit less bothered by sex anyway... I know not all, but lots of them, even men as they get older. So your 60, you don't want sex or relationship, big deal. Sorry, don't mean to be mean, but honestly.

I am married and wear no rings. If someone hits on me (very very rarely) I just say I am not interested. I dont think men notice jewellery...if they are the sex that bother you.

This will come across as rude, but I don't know how to phrase it gently... Is a woman in her sixties really still getting hit on wherever she goes?
<awaits flaming for misogyny, but really, how big a problem is this??>

Oh, phew! I wasn't the first to say it.

So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels ?

Don’t worry @SerendipityJane, I have no intention of delivering any lectures.

Quite. This thread is only big enough for one ...

(wanders off humming Sparks "This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us" ...)