To think this is an excessive amount of drinking?

[WinoOrWinning]

Long story short, but my family (husband and 2 young children) are on holiday with some of my other family members.

My immediate family don't drink much. Only a glass while socialising when out. So maybe once a month. We don't drink at home. The other members of my family we are holidaying with seem to be drinking quite a lot. I am somewhat used to this as I grew up with them. But my husband and children did not. I know my husband is biting his tongue at the amount they're drinking and feels it's not a good influence for the children to see and also feels I should be saying something because they're all quite overweight and it's obviously not healthy to consumer so many empty calories. I don't feel it's really my place to tell grown adults they shouldn't be drinking because of their health. They can see how big they are, and no adult likes to be told what to do.

I feel a bit stuck between the two sides. The other family members aren't drinking enough to get drunk (there are 3), but they are going through about 3-4 bottles of wine a day. Having it as their only liquid with lunch and dinner as well as after.

Out of curiosity (because we don't really drink) is this considered an excessive amount of alcohol to consume daily? Or is it fairly normal? I'm quite shocked to see the amount of empty bottles accumulating after only a few days so far. AIBU to think that 3-4 bottles of wine a day split between 3 people is too much? Or is this the norm?

I agree with your DH. I hate excessive drinking. And when people drink to excess their whole holiday seems to centre round going to bars and having their next drink. Your DH will just have to put up with it for now. Don't go on holiday with them again as it's obviously a problem. I sympathise.

So per person a bottle of wine per day.

It's a bit on the heavy side if you are at home quaffing it in front of the telly every evening.

But on holiday or at Christmas when people let their hair down and relax a bit it's not that much and you are right, not really anyone else's business.

If you are that concerned about their influence on your kids, maybe a better idea not to go away with them in the first place.

My guess is opinions may differ:)

It’s excessive drinking but nothing you can do about it except speak to your DC in an age appropriate way about alcohol and its effects on health and that sometimes adults choose to do unhealthy things which make them feel like crap and so unable to run around/exercise because they’re hung over.

Well, not healthy at all of course. But it's not up to you or your DH to tell other adults what they can and can't do. Don't go on holiday with them in future.

People often drink more when they are on holiday. They might be seeing their wine drinking as part of their relaxing time. We wouldn’t drink that much but we have one or two relatives who would. You can’t say anything unless their behaviour causes any trouble. If you are only away for a few days I would ignore it. Your children will probably have taken little notice unless their behaviour changes.

It's a lot if it's daily. It's not a lot if you're on a sunny week away. If it's making your relatives loud and obnoxious then that is clearly unpleasant, but you don't seem to like them much.

so a bottle a day is a glass with lunch and two with dinner, not excessive on holiday.

I find the bigger crime you and your husbands judgemental attitude about their size and the empty calories etc.

You say they’re not getting drunk so I don’t see the problem tbh. None of your business either way.

I can see why people would think it a bit excessive, but myself and DH would get through 2 bottles most days on holiday, mostly just in the evening!
(ie. glass with lunch or a beer, bottle to share with dinner in restaurant and then couple of glasses on balcony once kids asleep)

A bottle a day on holiday is not excessive spread out through a whole day

How lovely for them to know your DH is silently judging them for the crimes of being fat and drinking while on holiday.

But re reading your OP, this wouldn't be the only liquid we'd have 😂 I'd be rather dehydrated!
We always have water for the table with meals out and drink water/pop in between!

Well yes obviously a bottle of wine a day is a lot. It takes you way over the recommended number of weekly units and the ill effects are well known. However I agree with a PP that drinking more than usual on holiday isn't the same as having an ongoing bad habit (even if not ideal), and many accustomed drinkers can handle a bottle of wine without behaving unsuitably in front of children.

What effect do you think it would have if you were to start lecturing others about their weight and health on holiday? It's your responsibility to model healthy habits etc, not try and control other people. The children are going to see all sorts of unhealthy behaviours as they grow up.

Oh no, not fat people enjoying themselves on holiday!

I don't think a bottle a day whilst on holiday spread between a glass at lunch and 2-3 at dinner/ night time. It sounds like you're embarrassed by how they look though.

I will be doing this. We already do and drill it into them that it's not healthy. My children (along with my husband and I) are very health conscious, and my son can clearly see that the other 3 family members are severely overweight.

The drinking is mainly occurring in the place we're all staying as we're mostly cooking and eating meals there. But then they will have more if we go out for a walk around the town or out to dinner. It's sad for me to see them this way. They see it as they're out on holiday and where we are the wine is very cheap compared to where they're from. But I know they drink a fair amount when they're at home and not on holiday as well.

do you really think this is going to turn your children into alcoholics? How old are they that they’re counting a relative’s drinks?

And the op. Utterly aappalling. It’s not even excessive. Far from it.

really unpleasant behaviour from the pair of them. I hope their families don’t know what horrible people they are

It's a lot, but it's not going to affect your kids if they are spending one holiday with these people and most of the time they are observing adults with healthy drinking habits.
Besides which surely even young kids know that people behave differently on holiday? My kids are allowed ice cream every day on a hot holiday. Hot chocolate and cake every day on a cold holiday. Neither at home.

No need for you to 'feel stuck between the two sides'. They're adults who makes their own decisions and if they want to drink a bottle of wine each over the course of the day that's up to them. Remind your husband that it's not actually any of his business and that you don't have to go away with them again.

The two of you sound obsessed.

What’s going to impact the kids is their parents judgey uptight behaviour to people they are supposed to love.

It doesn’t sound excessive for a holiday. Some people like a drink on holiday. I don’t drink at all and, as long as they weren’t behaving like twats, I’d have no issue with relatives drinking at lunchtime, dinner or whenever they felt like it on holiday. It’s their holiday too!

Their weight and lifestyle is not fit your husband to judge or comment on, providing it’s not affecting him or the kids.

do you think these other family members are enjoying you and your family's company?

not FOR your husband to judge