To think this is an excessive amount of drinking?

[WinoOrWinning]

Long story short, but my family (husband and 2 young children) are on holiday with some of my other family members.

My immediate family don't drink much. Only a glass while socialising when out. So maybe once a month. We don't drink at home. The other members of my family we are holidaying with seem to be drinking quite a lot. I am somewhat used to this as I grew up with them. But my husband and children did not. I know my husband is biting his tongue at the amount they're drinking and feels it's not a good influence for the children to see and also feels I should be saying something because they're all quite overweight and it's obviously not healthy to consumer so many empty calories. I don't feel it's really my place to tell grown adults they shouldn't be drinking because of their health. They can see how big they are, and no adult likes to be told what to do.

I feel a bit stuck between the two sides. The other family members aren't drinking enough to get drunk (there are 3), but they are going through about 3-4 bottles of wine a day. Having it as their only liquid with lunch and dinner as well as after.

Out of curiosity (because we don't really drink) is this considered an excessive amount of alcohol to consume daily? Or is it fairly normal? I'm quite shocked to see the amount of empty bottles accumulating after only a few days so far. AIBU to think that 3-4 bottles of wine a day split between 3 people is too much? Or is this the norm?

Probably different people having different opinions? Don't think there is a single Mumsnet-approved viewpoint everyone has to share.

It's not you or your kids drinking so it matters not at all.

Really hope you're not being this judgy in front of your kids. They'll grow up insufferable too.

That's not what anyone's said and even medical professionals wouldn't tell you drinking a bit more than usual on holiday is harmful.

Mostly I drink much like OP, a glass now and again with a meal, but a few extra for a week's holiday isn't going to hurt anyone.

I work in substance misuse as a safeguarding officer. I deal daily with families where parents are alcoholics or drug users and have social care involvement. I know the damage it does.
However, when I am on holduay with my partner and our children, I can drink a bottle of wine a day. I don't do it at home but I work bloody hard and like to enjoin my holiday and relax.

And no there isn’t two sides, they don’t need the ops permission to have some wine or eat what they please. Her and her husband seem confused on that score

Yes I’ve got to agree I’m quite shocked people think this isn’t excessive. Being on holiday doesn’t suddenly make alcohol healthier! But British attitudes to drinking are largely out of control.

that said, the comments about their weight are uncalled for and your hardline stance on alcohol with your kids could lead them to rebel when they’re old enough to drink and start going out on benders.

I will be doing this. We already do and drill it into them that it's not healthy. My children (along with my husband and I) are very health conscious, and my son can clearly see that the other 3 family members are severely overweight.

Oh good don't do this. No need to drill anything. They will just see adults having a glass of something they don't with a meal and likely think nothing more of it. Please don't make it a huge issue. Why are your young dc health conscious? I'm assuming by young you mean 8 and under? Sounds like a good way to cause food anxiety to me

A bottle per person over the course over an entire day and taken around meals...what's the problem exactly?!

Perfectly reasonable holiday behaviour. Let go of the pearls.

The post saying the OP should make her husband get First Aid training was great 😁

I have no doubt that you spend a lot of time in a state of astoundment.

Do them a favour and don't go on holiday with them again.

Why are you counting other people's drinks? It's none of your business. Unless they are getting shit faced and behaving badly how does it affect you?

Your DH is biting his tongue because some other adults are enjoying drinking a lot of alcohol on their holiday ? Get a life seriously.

No one's saying it makes it healthier only that having a bit over the limit for a week away isn't going to do any harm, in the same way that.loving of takeaways for a week while your kitchen's been replaced won't cause any lasting damage, but you wouldn't do it all along.

@FixTheBone but the peanut story was a bit ott wasn't it ? It was no biggie

Your husband sounds like a judgemental obsessive.

You sound nasty towards your family.

You said yourself they're not acting drunk or ruining your holiday, so what's your problem? Is your problem that you're away on holiday with fat people? That the people you're away with aren't as sanctimonious as you and your husband are?

It's none of your business what other adults choose to consume, I don't drink at all but I don't judge people who do!

Your kids don't need wrapping in cotton wool and they will not be hurting by seeing grown adults consume wine on a holiday.

@TedMullins - no it is excessive but it's not the OP's business unless the relatives are causing trouble. I drink more on holiday. Not healthy but im not bothering anyone... I think OP is being a bit ridiculous here

It's OK, special branch of the judgy police are already on the case

So a bottle-ish over the course of a day…I mean they couldn’t operate heavy machinery but an adult is unlikely to be rolling drunk from that alone if consumed over the course of a day/evening. You and your husband sound quite puritanical. Maybe only go on holiday with other people who don’t drink as you will only be winding yourselves up and annoying your companions if you continue to go away with people who enjoy a drink.

Obviously the point is that they would 'know' the difference between drinking this way for a week or so, and doing it consistently.

Your attitude will be causing more damage to your kids than your relatives, and I say that as someone who barely drinks.

What’s going to impact the kids is their parents judgey uptight behaviour to people they are supposed to love.

Yeah the kids likely won't even notice or give a monkeys about the number of empties. They are kids, they should be having fun and not listening to a lecture about the Evil Drink.
Modelling having fun and being relaxed and loving spending time with family would be bette than whanging on about their weight and alcohol.

By the way, I'm not a Defensive Drinker here, I rarely drink either. But I dislike the tone of judgement from you and especially your DH.

What you model to your kids at home for 51 weeks of the year will have much more impact than one week away so the pair of you need to chill the fuck out.

it's the idea of a relative's husband biting his tongue because he's just dying to give holidaying grown adults, who presumably aren't unintelligent people, lifestyle advice. and urging his wife to tell her relatives they're too fat.

When I got to university, most of the students that came from very strict, judgmental families were the ones who were binge drinking to passing out at least three nights per week.

Those of us who'd been exposed in a moderate way did not go nuts like that.

On holiday, it's completely normal to have wine with lunch and dinner. Spread over the day like that they're probably not even getting beyond the legal driving limit.

I'd be more concerned with your end your husband's obvious contempt for others and failure to cope with people who are different from you. This is poor behavior to model to your children.

Jesus go for a run or a swim, then return for a mineral water and stop counting their bottles. I’d hate to be on holiday with you.