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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell them to fuck off?

154 replies

gallina · 06/04/2023 08:22

Over the past year my partners family have been awful to me and said some vile things behind my back,

I had a miscarriage just before Christmas and they said I was lying about it because I didn't have a scan picture, as one example.

They are from abroad and want to visit within the next month. Partner has asked me to collect them from the train station as a taxi will be too expensive.

I've not been included in any plans, don't know exactly when they're coming and when he mentioned they were going to visit i told him I want nothing to do with it. He didn't even say please can I pick them up just can I.

Aibu to just tell the lot of them to fuck off? I don't want to see them at all.

OP posts:
ShonaShoop · 06/04/2023 09:15

Let them get a taxi to yours. Just before they arrive you go out and let him get on with entertaining HIS visitors. If they contact you afterwards just tell them you have no wish to speak to them now or ever.

Then tell your other half, in no uncertain terms, that you don’t want anything to do with his family. You don’t want them visiting, you won’t be visiting them, you don’t want to speak to them and you don’t want to hear anything about them. And take it from there.

weddingdaydancet · 06/04/2023 09:19

Are you sure you saw the full convo, it was not him saying he didn’t believe you and them saying some people lie no scan photo ?

ReneBumsWombats · 06/04/2023 09:25

I'd tell the partner to fuck off with them...

Original poster
gallina · 06/04/2023 09:27

@weddingdaydancet no he did believe me, he was there at epu with me.

And I knew the messages were between him and his family as they were in their native language, not English

OP posts:
Tinkywinkydinkydoo · 06/04/2023 09:29

Are they staying with you or a hotel?

billy1966 · 06/04/2023 09:29

Do not pick them up or have them near your home.

Think long and hard about your relationship.

TomatoSandwiches · 06/04/2023 09:31

Doing a favour for people that think so little of you is not being the bigger person it's letting them walk all over you.

Tell them to fuck off and get a taxi.

If my husband had asked me to do this for them after such disrespect I would laugh in his face at the audacity.
To even ask you shows that he doesn't care about you, none of these people care for you and your partner sounds like a pathetic creature.

Fraaahnces · 06/04/2023 09:33

It’s about time the snivelling little manbaby learned to drive too. They’re quite happy to complain about you, but not happy to point out his shortcomings are they?

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 06/04/2023 09:33

They sound like a bunch of cocks.

AmandaHoldensLips · 06/04/2023 09:34

That's a great big fat NO.

Tell him that if his family think you're so awful then they can bloody well go and stay somewhere else.

Tell him you have absolutely no intention of seeing them or facilitating any part of their visit, and they are not welcome in YOUR home because they have been downright nasty.

They can fuck right off and think about how vile they have been, and suck up the consequences.

FangsForTheMemory · 06/04/2023 09:35

They can pay for a taxi.

Original poster
gallina · 06/04/2023 09:38

They're staying in a hotel. Don't know which one as I say I've not been included in any of this. Don't know exactly when they're coming or how long for.

I agree, they're all cocks!!

Well it's pretty unanimous and just as I was thinking I'm not fucking doing it!

OP posts:
FartSock5000 · 06/04/2023 09:41

@gallina when you do end up divorcing this spineless twat, make sure you get a custody order in place ASAP to stop him taking the kids away to his darling mummy.

As for now, I suggest:
"Ha ha, no."

The comments were unforgivable. Do not engage at all. Do not host or indulge them in any manner. In fact, wouldn't it be such a shame if you and the kids were away for a few days visiting your own family during the in laws visit?

Marchforward · 06/04/2023 09:43

He sent you a message questioning if you we’re actually miscarrying?
He has organised his family visiting and hasn’t bothered to tell you the details despite him wanting you to drive them round?

Your anger is directed at the wrong people here. It’s your partner you should be unhappy with.

Change2banon · 06/04/2023 09:47

@gallina The soft side of me is thinking be the bigger person, …. You really don’t! At some point in your life you have to learn to put yourself first - let that be now. 💐

EnjoyingTheSilence · 06/04/2023 09:47

Ever noticed that being the bigger person involves putting yourself out for selfish arrogant twats? Screw that.

His family think so little of you, they (and him) can sort themselves out.

Good luck

clpsmum · 06/04/2023 09:49

gallina · 06/04/2023 09:02

@clpsmum two young kids

We get along very well but this situation with his family and inability to communicate properly about it has got me feeling like I don't care if he fucks off too

This is not the person to show your children what a man/parent/husband should be. You are better off without him. It will be tough but it will be worth it

clpsmum · 06/04/2023 09:49

And I'm sorry for your loss xx

Squamata · 06/04/2023 09:50

I'm on team fuck them and dump him

Pixiedust1234 · 06/04/2023 09:52

If he hasn't told you anything about the visit then I would refuse everything. Lifts, cleaning the house in case they visit, nothing. Do you have a joint account as I wonder if he's paying for the visit/hotel.

You really do have a partner problem and it will only get worse. Its time to start untangling those ties even if it takes you a couple of years. The first step is not to care about what he says or thinks.

CaptainCorellisBagpipes · 06/04/2023 09:52

Finalstar · 06/04/2023 08:54

I would tell him it's his family and therefore his responsibility - and that you are having nothing to do with them whatsoever.

Your partner sounds like a spineless sort - why on earth isn't he defending you against this nonsense?

^ This.

Time to part company methinks.

Ktime · 06/04/2023 09:52

The soft side of me is thinking be the bigger person, embarrass them

It wouldn't embarrass them, it will just re-enforce to them that they can treat you badly and you will take it.

If they can afford flights and hotel, then they can afford a taxi.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/04/2023 09:53

I’d be including him in the general FO too.

Blablablanamechangagain · 06/04/2023 09:54

"No, that won't work for me, they'll have to get a taxi"

Repeat until he gets the message.

I hope he's not expecting them to be hosted at your house!!!!

ilovemydogmore · 06/04/2023 09:57

the difficulty is we have two young children

I think living your life with a man that has no respect for you and a family of in laws that treat you terribly will be much more difficult than going it alone.

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